I found out MW had sexula relations with our so called family friend

[tiredandsad]

I had written before about this. If I should approach the guy who has been persuing my wife. Well, I found out today from their instant messagings (IM) that they have been. I have been walking the streets, driving all over the place and nothing is helping. I am confused.

 

Last Monday night I opened my heart to her and talked for about 6 hours into the night about her breaking up with him. We talked about everything. She finally said that the only thing that happened was a hug. Well, from their IMs I found out that they were together on Tusday afternoon for a last time. And she told me that she finished it with him over the phone. They had ended up in their usual place and their last fling.

 

I had strated Therapy already on Tuesday, and I was so happy. Today After reading their very graphic IM from yesterday, I found out there was more than a hug. And she finaly fessed up and started blaming me for her actions.

 

She seems very sorry, and is begging me to come back. She does not want a divorce. I dont know what I want? with 2 kids, it is hard. I stayed home tonight so the kids (8 & 4) will have some normalcy for now. My 8 year old will be devestated.

 

My heart says one thing and my brain says another. I need help, What do I do without hurting my kids. My cheating wife says not say anything to his wife, bacause she will spread it around town. I did not create this. If I am in hell right now, I want him to be in as much hell, and that is if his wife finds out.

 

Help......My heart is about to explode....

[hooghie]

If your wife is asking you not to say anything because she will spread it all over town you should probably try and stay quiet because news travel fast and your kids will soon find out. If she is saying it protect him (much much more likely) then blab away, but I doubt it will make you feel that much better in the end and it may draw them closer because it will be a problem they both share with their spouse.

 

I can't advise you too much on getting over the cheating thing. I've thankfully never been in your position, but I am almost positive it would be a deal breaker for me. If you think you can eventually get over it and both of you are really committed to making your relationship work then give it a shot.

 

You need to find out what made her turn towards another man and ensure that she is done with him and it's not because she is afraid of losing custody of the children, her lifestyle, etc.

[Bryanp]

Hello,

 

Lets look at the facts. Your wife has been lying to your face over and over again. She has been having sexual relations with another man betraying your marriage and putting your health at risk for STD's. You continued to warn her against this guy and all she said all that they did was exchanged a hug and now gets caught and forced to admit she has been screwing this guy all along. She has total disrespected and humiliated you and made you into a fool.

 

She does not want a divorce. Well good for her. Apparently she felt she could keep screwing this good and nothing would happen if she got caught.

She is not even remorseful and blames it on you? This is known as being a cakewoman which is she feels she wants to have a husband that pays the bills and also have a lover on the side.

 

It is absolutely essential that you inform the OM's wife. First if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you have wanted to be told? Second, there are consequences to her actions. Third, the message that you give to the OM is that it was all right to keep having sex with your wife because after you found out you kept quiet. Fourth, you are enabling her to cheat on you again in the future when things quiet down. No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change.

 

Your wife has shown you that she has no respect for you. It is important that you have respect for yourself. You warned about this guy and she continued to screw him. You don't deserve this. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who could lie to your face over and over again the way she has done to you? All she is doing now is trying to cover her ass and not be embarrassed. Maybe she should have thought of this before you decided to betray you over and over again. I wish you luck.