My visiting in-laws brought their dog unannounced

[newlywedder]

Hello! I'm having a problem right now with my in-laws. They are staying with us 2 weeks and brought their dog. I didn't know they were going to bring her to be honest. Their dog is an extremely large German Shepard who is a year old so acts like a puppy still. She constantly upsets my small Pomeranian by pouncing and nipping at her. I'm afraid of large dogs after getting attacked once when walking in my old neighborhood. I'm extremely edgy around this large dog. She constantly pees on our carpet and linoleum too. It's driving me crazy! They are supposed to leave on Friday, so I have several more days of this. I don't want to upset my husband's mother or cause any problems. I'm not sure what to do. I'm in an unhappy situation right now.

[Wiseman2]

41 minutes ago, newlywedder said:

She constantly pees on our carpet and linoleum too. It's driving me crazy! They are supposed to leave on Friday, so I have several more days of this. I don't want to upset my husband's mother or cause any problems. I'm not sure what to do. I'm in an unhappy situation right now.

Talk to your husband about his. Get him to try to get the dog under control and walk, feed and clean up after it.

[FMW]

Your in-laws should most definitely have asked before bringing their dog, and once they saw that the dog was harassing your dog and making messes, they should have done something to stop it.  

Your husband should be the one to handle this.   He should do so in a way that makes it clear that it's coming from him and doesn't have anything to do with you to avoid any resentment.   

[vla1120]

I agree with Wiseman2. I would drop this squarely in your husband's lap. He needs to deal with it until they leave. He should also tell them they should have asked you before they brought a large dog with a puppy mentality that isn't fully house trained.

[d0nnivain]

Hubby needs to be sticking up for you & the German Sheppard needs boundaries.  I love my dog but would never bring her to somebody else's house if I didn't ask 1st & if she didn't have good manners. 

I know a great holiday gift for your in-laws:  dog training.  

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

Taking a dog of any kind, but especially a big dog, to someone's house without asking is very presumptuous! 

[Happy Lemming]

Tell them to take the dog to a kennel until Friday or they can (all) check into a motel that allows dogs.  If they get mad, who cares.

I was dating this one woman.  I invited her over to dinner at my place & she brought her German Shepherd (unannounced).  This dog was a rescue that flunked out of the police academy dog training school because it was too high strung.

At that time I was finishing up a large high end house with saltillo floors.  I had just waxed them and was getting ready to put the house on the market.  Her dog ran back and forth through my house, toenails scratching up my new wax job.  I was furious, I asked her what made her think it was a good idea to bring her dog to my home (for dinner).  Her response was she thought it would be a nice treat for the dog to run around the huge yard I had. 

Needless to say, I had to clean and re-wax the entire house.  I think it is horribly rude to bring a dog to someone else's house, especially a large one that is ill-trained.

[Ruby Slippers]

It's extremely rude, but I agree your husband needs to lay down the law. Their visit is almost over now, but he should tell them the dog isn't allowed in the future. If you say anything as the daughter-in-law, you'll be portrayed as the Wicked Witch of the West. 

[Fletch Lives]

I see a dog ban happening in the future.

[Ellener]

17 hours ago, Happy Lemming said:

I think it is horribly rude to bring a dog to someone else's house, especially a large one that is ill-trained.

My upstairs neighbours have two gigantic untrained dogs, I've had to put a collar on my little dog to stop her barking in response to them. Nobody walks them and they get very distressed.Then my dog barks in response to their whining. God alone knows why they have them, they are really lazy owners. 

This collar I got for my dog is called -no-bark and it beeps then buzzes when she barks. It was from Amazon and it's been a godsend. 

When I went to stay with my 96 year old friend who has dementia my dog growled every time she got out of bed. She has severe dementia. It was like she was telling me 'danger'. It kept us safe. 

I think dogs are very special if treated correctly.

 

[Ruby Slippers]

Ugh, rude, selfish people and their misbehaving, neglected dogs. I've had it with my awful neighbor and her 3 dogs permanently in the backyard barking their fool heads off anytime I step foot into my own back yard. I tried everything to reason with her, but she is simply unreasonable. Those poor dogs - totally neglected and bored. They never play with them, walk them, or anything. So the HOA has sent her the first warning letter, will send a second and a third, and if that doesn't work, a certified letter threatening to fine her or sue her. She's clearly not going to do anything unless she absolutely has to. I hope she gets a huge fine or even a lawsuit brought against her. She beyond deserves it.

[Happy Lemming]

2 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

...and her 3 dogs permanently in the backyard barking their fool heads off anytime I step foot into my own back yard. .

I would document this barking with your phone.  Go into your backyard and video them "barking their fool heads off".  If there is a way to save the video(s), I'd do that as well.  If possible attach the video files to an e-mail and send them to your HOA officer.  That way he/she can view them.

I lived in one apartment complex and there was this one lady that would put her dog out at 11:30pm every night and it would bark and bark and bark.  My neighbor had a smart phone and took video of this every night and sent the files to the manager every day (until they did something about it).

I've found with HOA's and apartment complexes, if you don't have pictures and/or video proof, they don't want to believe you.

 

[Ruby Slippers]

I sent them video today. They said they mailed letter #1 on September 30 and will continue the process. I'm hoping they'll do what they said, but who knows? I'm setting reminders to follow up on each key date. Like most HOAs, their reviews online are terrible. It's tons of genuine 1-star reviews and then a slew of fake-looking 5-star reviews. You have to email or call repeatedly to get an answer and they communicate like soulless robots. 

I'm considering going outside late at night right before bed every night, as the dogs will inevitably go nuts and hopefully wake them up, give them a taste of their own medicine. A package of theirs was recently misdelivered to me. I was so tempted to throw it away. The most I could bring myself to do is toss it into their yard 😑

[Ellener]

I decided to not complain about my neighbours. everyone is having such a tough time with the pandemic here and if I complain the dogs will most likely be euthanised. 

I bought a case of earplugs. 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

No one should have to wear earplugs in their own home. 

[Happy Lemming]

16 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Like most HOAs, their reviews online are terrible. It's tons of genuine 1-star reviews and then a slew of fake-looking 5-star reviews.

 

Some localities have laws governing "barking dogs" and disturbing the peace.  If the HOA doesn't handle it after the requisite amount of "warning letters", I might look into local laws/ordinances and see if any exist in your area.

I don't have anything nice to say about HOA's... but that is for another thread.

[Ruby Slippers]

Animal control won't do anything unless there's clear evidence the animals are being physically abused. You can call the cops, but they won't do much, either. 

I'm saving diligently for a much larger piece of property in the future. A good land buffer seems to be the only reliable solution. 

[Happy Lemming]

6 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I'm saving diligently for a much larger piece of property in the future. A good land buffer seems to be the only reliable solution. 

Yes... I refurbished & sold one home that was isolated (two miles back a dirt road).  The silence was wonderful.  No barking dogs, mostly complete and total silence with just the occasional sounds of local wildlife, but that didn't bother me.

If was nice sitting out on the back porch listening to the owls hoot and distant coyotes bay at the moon.  I do hope you get your dream home soon.

[Ellener]

8 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said:

No one should have to wear earplugs in their own home. 

I know but I love living here and to be honest I haven't even opened the box- with my personality once I can make a positive solution stuff doesn't bother me any more. 

I've found with my dog the collar worked so I took it off but tonight a balloon floated up and hit the ceiling fan making a ton of noise and she went into a barking frenzy! The beeping seems to comfort/reassure her. But she does growl if someone knocks or something. 

I loved living in the country @RubySlippers and did at one point consider a tiny home development which is semi-rural, but it was expensive and you don't own the land or have much control over 'the rules'! I had a fun few days with the owner though, he showed me how they move the homes, some of which aren't tiny at all, and very well-designed.