I am so heartbroken

[gl367]

My fiancé and I were together for 8 months going to be married on December 22 2020. He decided he needed space form me while on our  break he cheated on me with his baby’s mom and I took him back I was  very hurt because he cheated on me I was acting  different towards him because i was very hurt, I told him it was going to take time for me to heal and that it won’t be the same between us for a while . A week later  all of a sudden . He broke up with me over text he texted this to me.......It’s over between us it’s not the same anymore .I couldn’t believe he dumped me even after i took him back it I am so heartbroken I truly love him . I keeped telling him please don’t do this to me you are my true love he texted back.....quit sitting around consuming your mind on me. Get a life and have some self respect. Move on I am tired of you running your mouth this s*** is old . I texted back why are you doing this to me . ...He texted back Get over it this s*** isn’t the same and you know it. You absolutely have no life that’s why you are all wrapped up and consumed with me stop being a annoying idiot. Move on . I text back asking him why he was treating me like this. .I told him please dont do this.. He replied.... toughen up crying and carrying on and playing the victim role isn’t going to change the fact that we need to move on. Get over it . I am not going to let you manipulate me and give me a guilt trip get over it .I am really getting tired of you caring on and on. The love isn’t there anymore you can’t force me to want to be with you . It’s time we move on . I am asking you as a adult and nicely to please move on and quit bugging me.  You have no clue how dam annoying you are being and I am losing my patience with you. So I asked him so you don’t love me anymore? He replied ....Not in the way of a relationship anymore, Iove u as a person and a friend that’s all. Get over it we are done. Leave it alone now there is nothing more to say and nothing more I want to hear from you. You are just being a pest at this point and it’s at my last nerve . I asked him why he was doing this to me again what did I do I didn’t understand why he didn’t want to be with me I been sending  him texts and calling him and he just ignores me than finally a few days later I sent him a text saying that he was my true love and we are meant to be together he is my soul mate and that I loved him, his last text said  .....It’s over quit being a pathetic baby couples break up all the time in this country it sucks but it’s nothing new get over it quit bugging me. It was fun for a while but it’s over now will never be the same. I don’t love you like that. Move on and quit moping around your kid and family you are not restarted  but you are acting like you are. You are a pretty girl get your life in order for your son as far as your mental stability. I can’t deal with you anymore. Move the f*** on. The sooner you get over this and start to enjoy your life without my ass in it the better off you will be and when you reach that point you will look back and realize how stupid you were. That was it that was the last time I heard from him . He won’t take my calls just ignores me. I am so heartbroken and feel like a fool.

[assertives]

I will say gather whatever is left of your self respect and dignity and move on. You need to cut all forms of contact with him, delete his number, block him and remove him from social media. He is not your true love. Your true love will not ask for a break, then cheat on you and then dump you. Your true love who you are meant to be with will treat you with love, kindness and respect and would not cheat on you.

He's right though that the faster you get over this guy, the happier and better off you will be. He is not worth it. Someday, you'll look back on this and cringe too, but for now, take one day at a time. Keep yourself busy, go hiking, learn a new language, work out, go for a run, pick up a new hobby, journal, etc. Give yourself grace and grief the end of what you thought you had with him, but don't contact him in any way shape or form any further. 

[SincereOnlineGuy]

(sigh)   That all hurts so much, and we can feel it.

 

BUT at the same time we're only hearing one side of this story, so we can't really assess whether you are being fair, and are having normal   feelings,     or whether (Covid and the like have you far too alone with your thoughts, and alone with your heart  to be at all healthy in these times, even before this break-up came to a head).

 

 

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, gl367 said:

 He won’t take my calls just ignores me.

Honestly, this is for the best. You need to stay the hell away from this jerk. 

 

 

[Mystery4u]

He is right. You need to stop bothering him, stop trying to force him to love you as he clearly does not.

Don't waste any more time on someone that does not appreciate you. It's his loss, not yours.

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear that. He's verbally abusive. 24 weeks is way too soon to be "engaged", particularly with someone who is on/ off with his GF/baby mama .

Delete and block him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps. Be glad you dodged this bullet and only wasted 24 weeks on it.

In the future beware of overly fast involvement and as soon as anyone mentions "on/off"....Run 👟👟

[schlumpy]

Sounds like an exit affair to me. He created a situation to help him break away from you. He may not have written it down as a plan but he did execute it as if were one.

If you want to reconcile, your only hope my dear is to go no contact. Your constant badgering will only push him farther away. He has to miss you and he can't do that if you keep blowing the whistle on the love train right in his ear. There is obviously unfinished business between him and his EX and it appears you were a waystation on that main line.

Accept that you may never find out why he left you. Do not assume it was you. He could have issues from his childhood that makes it difficult for him permanently attach himself emotionally to one female. That's not on you. There is nothing you need to fix about yourself except to find a man who enjoys the sound of your laugh and the way you flip your hair.

Please type into your browser "cheating 180." This is a list of things to do that will help you detach and distance yourself from your feelings. Those pesky feelings have to be tamped down so your rational mind can reassert itself. It's not an instant cure but each day you practice it, the better you will get.

You didn't state your age which would be important and is your child his also? The way you wrote it, I assume not but better to be sure.

Flush him off all your media and don't snoop on his FB or whatever social media he uses.

If he wants back he will have to show some effort like coming to your front door. Don't allow him to test the waters from a distance like email. He broke the relationship and he has to do all the heavy lifting you require to get back in.

Look for true regret and make sure he hasn't once again run out on his child (and that is likely) and is looking for a sexual outlet. (That would be You)

If a few months have gone by and you have been working the 180, you may surprise yourself when you discover you don't want him back.

An attractive woman such as yourself that understands and believes in her value has many attractive options that don't use abusive language over social media. 

[kendahke]

That sounds like something his child's mother would type out.. but the fact is: whoever it is had his phone and they put those messages out there. If he didn't type it, by now, he's seen it and hasn't done anything to correct the situation.

Sorry this has happened to you.

What you're left with is picking up your pieces and moving on with your life. He clearly doesn't want to be with you any longer--that much has been made abundantly clear.

Stop dragging your dignity through the mud trying to get him back. That never works. Grab hold of your grace and get on with your life. Debasing yourself never gets them to change their minds--it only reinforces the notion that they did the right thing in letting you go.

[Annonymous1234]

1 hour ago, kendahke said:

That sounds like something his child's mother would type out.. but the fact is: whoever it is had his phone and they put those messages out there. If he didn't type it, by now, he's seen it and hasn't done anything to correct the situation.

Sorry this has happened to you.

What you're left with is picking up your pieces and moving on with your life. He clearly doesn't want to be with you any longer--that much has been made abundantly clear.

Stop dragging your dignity through the mud trying to get him back. That never works. Grab hold of your grace and get on with your life. Debasing yourself never gets them to change their minds--it only reinforces the notion that they did the right thing in letting you go.

I wondered about this, too . . . 

[d0nnivain]

That was painful to read & a lot of it was just mean.  That said, he didn't cheat on you.  He went back to his baby mama while you were broken up.  You call it on a break but there is no such thing.  You are together or you are broken up.  You were broken up. 

The reality is you were always a rebound for him, a place holder until he got the love of his life - the mother of his child -- back.  

You weren't a fool for loving him.  You were a woman in love.  You will be a fool if you chase this jerk.  So don't.  Lick your wounds; grieve the loss of this relationship; then move on.  

In your next relationship never try to have emotional conversations via text & recognize that there is no such thing as being "on a break" in a relationship.