Relocation issue in relationship

[NCMOMOF6]

I’m new to this group... and though I know the decision has to be mine I would still like opinions from both male and female and please share if you’ve been in a similar situation please. 

Gonna keep this as brief as possible and to the point. I’ve been in a relationship with a man for 2 years. We honestly are the same person... think alike... know what each other is thinking... enjoy each other’s company and enjoy doing the same things.  I love him. 
Situation is... we just moved together from NC where we met where all my family and friends are. We relocated to AZ where he is originally from since we had been visiting several times the past 2 years. He is thrilled to be back! I’m not as happy living here as I thought I would be. The number one reason is I MISS MY CHILDREN AND GRANDBABIES  like crazy!!!! Since April I’ve already been back home once.... and my kids and some of my grandkids have been here as well. And each time they go back home I spend a week plus crying because I’m missing them. 
How do I choose between watching my grandkids grow or being with a man I love. 
I’m 48... he’s 50. He will not move back. His family is here.

[Wiseman2]

You don't seem happy at all with your decision to move. Did he threaten to end things? Why did you move there?

The good news is you're not married so you can just pack up and go back home.

Hopefully you did not purchase a house there together after only knowing someone 2 yrs.

[Fletch Lives]

How about finding some friends there? Getting involved in activities?

[schlumpy]

You are homesick and yes, it can wreck your relationship.

You will resent your SO. It will feel as if he is purposefully keeping you away from something you want.

If you don't want to call it quits, frequent trips will have to do until the homesickness subsides and that can take years.

You may find that your family will find these trips onerous and disruptive to their lives in that they will feel a need to entertain you while you visit. You will also find that as your grandchildren get older their own lives will become more important then visiting with you. So the emotional satisfaction of being around them may not be a realistic as you imagine.

I suggest that you endure your homesickness and make a good attempt at establishing yourself where you are and become an attractive destination for family visits.

Your family has their own lives and you should also. 

[d0nnivain]

Sometimes you have to make hard choices in life.  This is one of those times.  You can't have both.  Which do you want more? 

[GeorgiaPeach1]

I wouldn’t be willing to move so far away from the people I love for someone I’m not even married to. 

[ShyViolet]

I think there's a good chance you will eventually decide to move back to NC.  And that's fine, that's your choice to make.  Don't get yourself tied up in anything that would be hard to get out of, like buying a house or getting married.  Keep your options open.  After a while, if you are increasingly unhappy, then you can always move back.

[Ruby Slippers]

I'd only do this if it would work to visit back home or have them visit often - like once a month or every 2 months. Ideally you'd have a home in each location and would split your time between them equally. If your relationship is as solid as you say, he'll be understanding and supportive.

[Sunnyzwei1989]

I’m risk adverse so I most likely wouldn’t move so far away for a boyfriend.  
 

Before I leave everything I hold dear behind I would try a LDR first.

[boymommy]

I think it would help if you made a life for yourself in AZ. What about looking into activities to join? Clubs of interest? What are your hobbies? I know with covid its difficult but there are some things you could still do so your whole life isn't just spent pining for your family and resenting your boyfriend. 

I was in this same exact situation where I moved with my ex husband to where all HIS family and friends are..it was really hard. I left all my family and friends and I literally had nobody. It put tremendous strain on our marriage because not only did he block any attempts I made at making new friends (he was super controlling) but he also left me very isolated. We are divorced now obviously, but I have made signficant attempts to adjust to a life here due to the fact that I have to share custody and can't move. It has helped a lot! I joined a local mom's group, I have friends now, I bought a house in a nice neighborhood. I have a life! I don't feel like my whole life is wrapped up in a relationship, nor do I resent the fact that I moved here for my ex husband.