I am married, but in love with another woman. I am stuck in this emotional affair.

[The Macedonian]

I just need to vent.  I am deeply unhappy in my marriage. When do you know if you should call it quits? Neither of us want our son to have to deal with a divorce and I think we're both willing to stay together for him but that seems like an unhealthy option. We both have built up resentments towards each other over time and I don't know how to get back on track. There's no way for us to fix our relationship. . I'm very unhappy with my life. Sorry if everything is confusing in my post. I'm just scatterbrained with everything. 

I'm just heartbroken my life is the way it is i guess.

Sorry for wasting your time.

[Wiseman2]

Is divorce forbidden in your culture? Is it too expensive for you? Do you stay because of marital benefits, such as health insurance or joint finances?

Does your wife want a divorce? Can you live as roommates if you can't afford divorce?

[The Macedonian]

13 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is divorce forbidden in your culture? Is it too expensive for you? Do you stay because of marital benefits, such as health insurance or joint finances?

Does your wife want a divorce? Can you live as roommates if you can't afford divorce?

Divorce is not forbidden in my culture.  Actually people are divorcing here in Macedonia right and left in the past 10 years. It  is not too expensive for me. I stay in this marriage because of my son. I want to be with my son every single day.

[pepperbird2]

I know this won't go over well, but that's actually selfish.
Before you get angry with me, hear me out. If you are really unhappy in your marriage, unless you are the world's best actor, that will be translated to your child. The tension and undercurrent of anger and resentment can make a home horrible for a child.

In your shoes, I would sit down wit your wife and ho through all of this. Everything. Let her know how unhappy you are and that something needs to change. That could mean counselling and if that doesn't work, divorce. Yes, that may be unpleasant, but it's better than having your chi;d grow up in a home where mom and dad dislike each other.

[Wiseman2]

11 hours ago, The Macedonian said:

. I stay in this marriage because of my son. I want to be with my son every single day.

But you are not having "an emotional affair", you are having a daydream and fantasy to escape the drugery of your marriage. So there's really nothing you can do.

[The Macedonian]

43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

But you are not having "an emotional affair", you are having a daydream and fantasy to escape the drugery of your marriage. So there's really nothing you can do.

it is an emotional affair.

[The Macedonian]

On 11/26/2020 at 10:56 AM, Wiseman2 said:

Is divorce forbidden in your culture? Is it too expensive for you? Do you stay because of marital benefits, such as health insurance or joint finances?

Does your wife want a divorce? Can you live as roommates if you can't afford divorce?

This is my town. I was born in this town lived here my whole life. We are not some third world country. 

 

[Amethyst68]

Does your wife know how badly you've treated her? 

In your first post you said you have repeatedly cheated on her in the past before deciding you're in love with your latest fantasy. 

Your behaviour is extremely entitled and yet you post as if you're the one being treated badly. 

[Milly May June]

You say you are staying married for you son but i would bet money that you would drop your family IF you had any chance to get together with the lady you are fantasising about. If you are unhappy talk to your wife and make a coparenting plan that works for you both. 

BTW noone was impling Macedonia is a poorer country and the questions asked are valid. Having roots in the Western Balkan myself i know divorce can be stigmatised. Its more common these days but still.. 

[oldtruck]

no WS can recover feelings for their BS as long as still have contact with

their AP. now is the time to go NC with your AP.

[Starswillshine]

On 11/25/2020 at 6:40 PM, The Macedonian said:

I just need to vent.  I am deeply unhappy in my marriage. When do you know if you should call it quits? Neither of us want our son to have to deal with a divorce and I think we're both willing to stay together for him but that seems like an unhealthy option. We both have built up resentments towards each other over time and I don't know how to get back on track. There's no way for us to fix our relationship. . I'm very unhappy with my life. Sorry if everything is confusing in my post. I'm just scatterbrained with everything. 

I'm just heartbroken my life is the way it is i guess.

Sorry for wasting your time.

Since you have been cheating on your wife your entire relationship, it is no wonder you are unhappy. Imagine how she and your marriage might flourish if you spent half the time investing the energy into your wife and your marriage as you do daydreaming about a woman who you are obsessed with.