Skitzosquirl Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) Hello! So just a bit of back ground. Im the fiancee to a man in his early 30s. We have been together for about 5 years. He is lactose intolerant but he loves dairy so he still eats it as if he is not lactose intolerant. His farts smell worse than anyone I have ever met. Like all joking aside its bad like really bad. Sometimes I have to leave the area or just hold my noise and I also make a face because it smells. I don't say anything to him about because we have talked about his condition before. It seems that he wants me to not walk away or make any faces when he passes gas. He says its rude and you are making me feel bad for the smell. How should I respond to this? I'm the type of person if something smells you just laugh it off or you just walk away. I told him that If something smells I make a face sometimes, its just what happens. Im not going to say anything to you to make you feel bad about it. So what do you think? Should I just act like it doesn't smell and not react at all to make him feel better. Edited October 18, 2020 by Skitzosquirl Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 YOU are the rude one in this scenario?? Are you still sexually attracted to this stinky man?? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Hand him some Beano or Gas-X the next time he wants ice cream or cereal with cow milk. Beans, beans, the musical fruit The more you eat, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel. So let's have beans with every meal. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 1 minute ago, Watercolors said: Hand him some Beano or Gas-X the next time he wants ice cream or cereal with cow milk. Beans, beans, the musical fruit The more you eat, the more you toot The more you toot, the better you feel. So let's have beans with every meal. Beans, beans, they're good for your heart The more you eat, the more you fart The more you fart, the better you feel. So eat your beans with every meal. 🤣 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) If a person is sensitive as to how their gas is received by others, they should talk it elsewhere. But if they choose to do this in company, they need a thick skin to cope with being asked "what died up your rear end?" Edited October 18, 2020 by basil67 4 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Not sure how you're still attracted to him, but, oh well! How about suggesting that he drinks and uses on cereal or whenever he would drink milk, almond milk or some other non dairy milk. There are also plenty of delicious non dairy frozen ice cream type desserts in practically every grocery store. I've had them and can't tell the difference between them and ice cream. Also, there are now vegan cheeses that taste close to the real thing he could eat. And there's a product called "Just Egg," that is non dairy. I haven't tried it, though, but my mom uses it. I think it's best to cook with rather than to use to cook eggs. Tofu mashed up with eggs and garlic and fried is a great substitute for scrambled eggs. It can then be mixed with mayo to make egg salad that is delicious for sandwiches. Lastly, ginger is a great digestive aid. Offer him some juiced ginger or ginger tea with lemon in it. That should help. Another great digestive ai is Quantum HCL. I've never tried it but a friend who has a lot of digestive issues uses it and says it's great. Her Dr. told her about it but it's OTC. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Skitzosquirl Posted October 18, 2020 Author Share Posted October 18, 2020 Thanks so much I really appreciate the responses! I have suggested other options and he tries them but then he just says the real stuff tastes better so .... Yes I am still attracted to this person hahaha I just wanted to know how other people would deal with this situation to make sure Im not being unreasonable. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Have him try taking ginger and/or Quantum HCL if he's going to keep eating and drinking dairy. However, if he's got this problem it seems to me it would be affecting his relationships with other people, too, especially in work situations. One other thing he could try is activated charcoal. That may detox the smell. Read about it online. There are some options he can try. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Do you live together? Just leave the room, no faces,etc. Why can't he get a better work up and treatment from his doctor? You're both wrong. He's not taking care of his health appropriately and you are acting like a kindergartener about it. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 6 hours ago, Skitzosquirl said: It seems that he wants me to not walk away or make any faces when he passes gas. He says its rude and you are making me feel bad for the smell. Ah, yes. This brings back memories of the time I was dating a smoker. We were standing outside talking. When he started to light his cigarette, I excused myself and walked away. I had no desire whatsoever to inhale cigarette smoke. He knew this. He got offended. Accused me of making him feel bad for smoking. Granted, smelling your boyfriend's farts isn't likely to give you throat cancer or emphysema. But the thought process is the same: the guy has little regard for your comfort in this instance but wants you to stroke his ego. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 10 hours ago, Acacia98 said: the guy has little regard for your comfort in this instance... This...... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 You know a fart is a telegram from a turd to say, "I'm on my way." In your fiance's case though, it's also a message from his digestive system letting him know that if he doesn't stop eating stuff that doesn't agree with him he could end up with any number of illnesses, not the least of which could be bowel or stomach cancer, Crohns disease, etc, etc. I love butter, but it gives me heartburn and that's a message from my digestive system warning me that it's very bad for me, so I don't eat it because if I did that would make me very stupid. Your guy is in his thirties, give him 10-15 more years of doing this to himself and he'll wish he'd taken it more seriously. Butter and cheese are yummy for your mouth but not so yummy for your bowel. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 15 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Do you live together? Just leave the room, no faces,etc. Why can't he get a better work up and treatment from his doctor? You're both wrong. He's not taking care of his health appropriately and you are acting like a kindergartener about it. Exactly. He needs to see a gastroenterologist (a digestive doctor). Has he ever had an endoscopy? He could definitely have indigestion from eating dairy, and also develop Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS). The best way for your boyfriend to cut down on the gas build-up is to have him take supplements like Gas-X or Beano before he eats dairy, if he's unwilling to give that food up. Milk and cheese have lactose so your boyfriend is probably sensitive to lactose. Otherwise, he needs to switch to non-dairy cheese and non-dairy milk and get a full workup from a GI doctor or allergist to see what foods he's sensitive to with an IGE blood test. Immunoglobulen tests for food sensitivities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 On 10/17/2020 at 10:17 PM, Skitzosquirl said: ... So what do you think? Should I just act like it doesn't smell and not react at all to make him feel better. Heck no! Get a carton of lactaid (or similar) and hand him one each time....and tell him to buy lactose free dairy. There is a lot out there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
eleanorrigby Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) On 10/17/2020 at 7:17 PM, Skitzosquirl said: His farts smell worse than anyone I have ever met. Like all joking aside its bad like really bad. So what do you think? Should I just act like it doesn't smell and not react at all to make him feel better. I would not pretend that it doesn’t smell. It’s natural and normal but it’s still gross. I knew someone like this, a co-worker who let out a silent but deadly in my car once. I (tried) to pretend it didn’t happen. I got back to my car over an hour later and it still smelled like a$$. I have never, ever, smelled gas that foul before or since. If your boyfriend is like that guy, his gas odors probably fill the entire room for several minutes to an hour. Some people have gas that is on an entirely different level. Even if you were trying to spare his feelings by not reacting, you would probably find it impossible. Like being told not to flinch or blink at a punch thrown in your face. Good luck, I hope you guys can survive this, but IMO things like this that sounds silly and trivial can turn into HUGE fights years down the road when you’re not as inclined to always be super careful with your partners feelings. The time will come when he will do this and you just will not not have it anymore. You won’t be laughing, you’ll be yelling. Good thing you’re trying to figure it out early. Edited October 19, 2020 by eleanorrigby 3 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 On 10/19/2020 at 9:24 AM, MsJayne said: You know a fart is a telegram from a turd to say, "I'm on my way." Only a little fart. 💩 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: Only a little fart. 💩 Yes, well, with the larger variety it's not so much a telegram as a public announcement, and under certain circumstances may even be heralding an early and unexpected arrival. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 2 hours ago, MsJayne said: Yes, well, with the larger variety it's not so much a telegram as a public announcement, and under certain circumstances may even be heralding an early and unexpected arrival. OP's boyfriend could also be really constipated which can cause massive gas explosions, since the food waste just sits there, fermenting and fermenting. Which is like a billboard advertisement. 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
mortensorchid Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 I have experienced this as well - it's not sexy in the slightest to be farting with either noise and/or bad smells. I tend to get the farts when I am about to start my period every month, plus as you get older you tend to fart more as you become intolerant to certain foods, etc. Suggest to him Beano or GasX - I have had better luck with GasX lately. Maybe he needs to see a gastro for another Rx? If he wants to continue eating dairy then he should consider it. Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted October 20, 2020 Share Posted October 20, 2020 "Take Beano before, and there'll be-no gas" Since Beano comes as a tasteless liquid, you might just put some in his food. He'll never know. We sometimes have a gas issue at my house, since some Hispanic dishes use a lot of beans and peppers and onions. And my Russian cabbage dishes are sometimes a bit "windy" as well. Sometimes you just learn to laugh it off if a sound slips out, other times you take a moment to step outside as a courtesy to the rest of the family. I think families develop an unspoken agreement on the issue, and you and your partner haven't achieved that yet. The thing to remember about GasX is that it doesn't prevent gas formation, since it doesn't have enzymes to help your digestion. GasX reduces bloating and lets the gas OUT. So it can actually increase the farting. Medications like Beano and Lactaid give you the enzymes to digest things that your body would normally find indigestible. If I were you, I'd bring some of those enzyme medications home and find a way to get your partner to take them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 (edited) I used to work with a dude who was exactly like this. Lactose intolerant but loved dairy. All it would take was one small chocolate bar and he would be ripping the most horrendous smelling flatus you'd ever encounter. I don't know what the solution is other than to tell him that it's revolting and he needs to go and fart somewhere else. The fact that he turns it back on to you, as if it's your problem that he has an @$$ which smells like a decomposing rodent is beyond ridiculous! No pun intended, but does he gaslight like this with other areas of the relationship? Edited October 22, 2020 by Trail Blazer Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 You should respond by dumping his smelly ass Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 On 10/18/2020 at 12:49 AM, Skitzosquirl said: I have suggested other options and he tries them but then he just says the real stuff tastes better so .... Let him go to a physician and get appropriately evaluated and treated. Link to post Share on other sites
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