lasalsa Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 A few weeks ago I hung out with a workfriend and an acquitance. I never really knew the other guy, but all of a sudden I realised we get along really well. And some point in the weeks after we started texting back and forth, once every two days or so. He keeps the conversation going by asking me questions and so do I. I’m not a huge fan of getting to know someone this way, so I invited him over. Because of Covid, he’s careful with hanging out with people, so he said he’d let me know. Meanwhile the texting continues. Is this just friendliness? Or is he interested? What should I do, just bluntly stop and see what happens? I’m so confused. As for me, I don’t know if I’m interested unless I get to hang out with him. Also, he’s a few years my junior.
Wiseman2 Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 1 hour ago, lasalsa said: A few weeks ago I hung out with a workfriend and an acquitance. I never really knew the other guy, but all of a sudden I realised we get along really well.. I invited him over. Because of Covid, he’s careful with hanging out with people, so he said he’d let me know. Meanwhile the texting continues. Don't date co-workers. Stop the texting. Never invite someone to your place like that. You are coming on way to strong. Be professional, friendly, etc.but date outside of work. Don't make coworkers this uncomfortable by coming on to them like this. He is not interested. Stop texting this much.
Author lasalsa Posted October 18, 2020 Author Posted October 18, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Don't date co-workers. Stop the texting. Never invite someone to your place like that. You are coming on way to strong. Be professional, friendly, etc.but date outside of work. Don't make coworkers this uncomfortable by coming on to them like this. He is not interested. Stop texting this much. He is not a coworker. I know him through a workfriend, who is also not a coworker. I don’t understand your answer. What makes you say that I’m coming on way too strong? Did you actually read my post? In general I reply to texts when it contains a question. I consider it rude not to answer. Not sure if your advice is to ignore his questions all together? Edited October 18, 2020 by lasalsa
ExpatInItaly Posted October 18, 2020 Posted October 18, 2020 9 hours ago, lasalsa said: I’m not a huge fan of getting to know someone this way, so I invited him over. Because of Covid, he’s careful with hanging out with people, so he said he’d let me know. Meanwhile the texting continues. Where did you all hang out the first time? It seems a bit direct to invite him to your house, so I am curious why you didn't suggest grabbing coffee or a drink first. Are such places open where you are? 2
Author lasalsa Posted October 18, 2020 Author Posted October 18, 2020 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Where did you all hang out the first time? It seems a bit direct to invite him to your house, so I am curious why you didn't suggest grabbing coffee or a drink first. Are such places open where you are? When we first met, it was outside somewhere. Indeed, bars are closed where I am. I have a big garden, so I am very easy with inviting people over these days, so it was more of a general invite, not a question. It was in response to a cancelled meetup, not in a specific date kind of way. I completely understand why he would not meet me at my place. However, he keeps on texting and asking me questions and that confuses me. It also makes me worry that if we do happen to meet again, it will make things awkward. Like I said, I’m not a huge fan of texting like this.
Fletch Lives Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 If he were interested and sane he would have met you. 2
carhill Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 On 10/17/2020 at 11:58 PM, lasalsa said: I’m not a huge fan of getting to know someone this way, so I invited him over. Because of Covid, he’s careful with hanging out with people, so he said he’d let me know. Meanwhile the texting continues. Is this just friendliness? Or is he interested? What should I do, just bluntly stop and see what happens? I’m so confused. Texting is a time filler in social situations if one hasn't an established relationship or is growing one. If he's not flirting with you, move on, fill your time with guys who are flirting with you, presuming you like one or more of them. If this one is flirting with you, and you like him, flirt back, but IMO get of the text platform to something more personal, like video chat or at least phone. If you and he can enjoy contemporaneous phone conversation more than likely you'll enjoy a more personal milieu. Since you've already met, the attraction hurdle is passed, for you anyway. A healthy man, if attracted and available, won't be circumspect nor 'friendly'. He'll demonstrate attraction, as should you if feeling that way. Next time he texts, well I'm presuming from that handheld information appliance that has audio/video capability, simply respond 'call me'. If he doesn't immediately, then move on. Dry hole, IMO. 1
mark clemson Posted October 19, 2020 Posted October 19, 2020 Fish, cut bait, or friendzone. This sort of decision need not be a big deal. He may be trying to turn YOU into an orbiter for possible future reference, but that wouldn't be my first guess. My first guess is he's turning himself into an orbiter and/or "friend", possibly because he' not sure what else to do with you at the moment. 1
JTSW Posted October 23, 2020 Posted October 23, 2020 Is there any flirting between you when you text? It doesn't really sound like he's romantically interested.
Recommended Posts