16 year old son wants circumcision

[Ellener]

1 minute ago, SuperHeroMan said:

So you didn't have your son circumcised? 

No. He was born in England where it would be unusual. 

[SuperHeroMan]

16 minutes ago, Ellener said:

No. He was born in England where it would be unusual. 

That's good. Having a baby circumcised is a human rights violated. Also, it causes a lot of trauma to a baby. 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201501/circumcision-s-psychological-damage

[Ruby Slippers]

On 10/20/2020 at 5:55 PM, major_merrick said:

I'm honestly unsure of the difference between a circumcised penis and an uncircumcised one. 

I had a Russian boyfriend who was uncircumcised. You can see the difference visually through a search. Functionally, he was very clean, said hygiene was never an issue with proper instruction from his dad when he was little. He did seem a lot more sexually sensitive than circumcised men.

This is a pretty loaded topic. Most boys don't want to look different down there than their peers, don't want to hear "omg what's THAT?" from girls who are used to something different. On the surface it seems cosmetic, but I think it's more complex than that.

I always thought if I have kids I'll discuss it with the dad but the decision will ultimately be his.

[Ellener]

2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

This is a pretty loaded topic.

You think so? I think everyone discussed it very thoughtfully here.

4 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

boys don't want to look different down there than their peers,

Hmm, well they will all look different one way or another, so best not to get too hung up on it or compare.

The men who are 'successful' with sex/relationships it's because they are self-assured and comfortable with their body. 

[major_merrick]

4 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I had a Russian boyfriend who was uncircumcised. You can see the difference visually through a search. Functionally, he was very clean, said hygiene was never an issue with proper instruction from his dad when he was little. He did seem a lot more sexually sensitive than circumcised men.

I've looked at the pictures online.  Still can't quite figure it out.... especially the "how its done" part.  And I can't figure out what the biological purpose of a foreskin could possibly be.  I wonder, though, if you say that uncircumcised men are more sensitive to touch then perhaps circumcision might be a good thing?  Because many guys don't last very long, and that's definitely one way that girls will criticize.  I'm not quite sure what the hygiene issues would be for uncircumcised men either. 

[Ruby Slippers]

The foreskin is a sheath of skin that covers the head of the penis when soft, retracts when hard, kinda like an automatically retracting sleeve. It protects the head against bacteria from urine and feces, as well as irritation, and protects the sensitivity of the tip. An unprotected tip is constantly being rubbed and chafed, so I'd guess not as sensitive. I've heard it said the foreskin is analogous to the hood. Imagine if the clit had no hood and were constantly getting rubbed and chafed.

Still, men do fine without them, so they're obviously not necessary.

[Wiseman2]

He can wait until he is 18 and doesn't need your consent. That would be the best compromise. It's better than a anti/pro debate. He wants it, you are anti.. it's an impasse. 

[cbr600r]

On 10/21/2020 at 2:35 AM, Ellener said:

The US is the only country routinely does circumcision for non-religious reasons

That's not quite correct. The US is the only country that does routine INFANT circumcision for non-religious reasons. There are other cultures such as in the phillipines, south korea, and some african cultures that do it when the boy is a teenager. 

[cbr600r]

On 10/21/2020 at 6:55 AM, major_merrick said:

Still don't understand quite what gets cut off and how.  But it sounds painful and unnecessary!

 

On 10/23/2020 at 7:07 AM, major_merrick said:

I've looked at the pictures online.  Still can't quite figure it out.... especially the "how its done" part.  And I can't figure out what the biological purpose of a foreskin could possibly be.  I wonder, though, if you say that uncircumcised men are more sensitive to touch then perhaps circumcision might be a good thing?  Because many guys don't last very long, and that's definitely one way that girls will criticize.  I'm not quite sure what the hygiene issues would be for uncircumcised men either. 

Okay, I'll answer this but it will get a bit graphic so if you're not prepared for that then stop reading now.

Exactly how much gets cut off and how it's done depends on who performs the operation and whether it's done in a religious/ceremonial context or a purely medical context. There are many different modern surgical techniques for circumcision on both infants and adults. With an infant circumcision they have to be conservative and only excise the skin that is actually covering the head of the penis, as they are careful not to remove too much. When operating on an adult it's obviously bigger and there is much more to work with. I had it done when I was 14 and they removed all the foreskin to about half way down the shaft with the aid of a gomco clamp, surgical scissors and a scalpel, then tightened it up with sutures so there is no loose skin on the shaft during an erection. I remember her mentioning to me that she uses this method because it achieves the best cosmetic result (I don't really know why). But this method is by no means "the norm" for an adult circumcision. I don't think there is a norm regarding how they are performed...it just varies from practitioner to practitioner, and they each have a surgical technique they specialise in.

Regarding the purpose of the foreskin, it's a natural protective sheath for the glans (the "head" of the penis). The inner foreskin has a mucosal lining that keeps the glans moist and sensitive.

[spiderowl]

Personally, I feel it is a shame that a young man would feel he had to undergo an unnecessary mutilation to be accepted amongst his peers.  Here in the UK it would normally only be done for medical reasons, where a boy was already in pain because of an unusually tight foreskin.

I cannot for the life of me fathom why people treat circumcision as 'normal'.  I cannot even justify it to myself for religious reasons.  Hurting or mutilating anyone against their wishes is just wrong.

I see your dilemma, OP, if you live in a country where this is a common practice.  Perhaps show him that it is not common practice in the UK, except among certain religious groups, and that the girls here still fall in love, have sex with their boyfriends, and get married.  If a girl likes him, she is not going to be put off by a lack of circumcision, especially if he is proud of his independence in that respect.  It does sound very much like peer pressure.

At the end of the day, he will do what he wants, but you are doing the right thing by making him aware that there are other options and, basically, circumcision is unnatural.  If boys were meant not to have a foreskin, they would have been born without one.  I have no doubt that some of his musical or perhaps sporting heroes have not been circumcised and it does not diminish them in the least.

One final thing, it is worth mentioning that there is always a risk that surgery will go wrong.  He could end up with an injury that does not repair itself or where some part is tighter than it should be.  Is it worth the risk?

Edited December 30, 2020 by spiderowl