abcabcabc Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Need of advice please. Anything you have! At the local pub last night and my boyfriend ran into a girl he knew from grade 6ish that used to be his "girlfriend". You know those one's you have when your a little kid? Well I was sitting at a table away from the bar with friends, watching him catch up and chat to her and her body language was doing the talking from where my friends are I sat. If she could stick her boobs/hips/any other thing out any further she may have hurt someone! Couldn't believe it! Anyway he then comes and introduces her to me, and she introduces herself as his grade 6 girlfriend. (Firstly, who does that? Grow up) Then proceeds to coo at him "OOh I still remember the day we broke up...." They went to chat at a another table and she was rubbing her leg against his while chatting about her recent breakup/i'm single annoucement and leaning in to touch him.(I didn't witness, friends sitting at other end of table that could see them did) Now he can't stop talking about her and wants to catch up with her! Firstly, they haven't seen each since grade 5 or 6 so how much could there be to say? And secondly it was so blatant that everyone I knew at the pub has asked what is the situation with my boyfriend and I. I feeling really crap and would like to know what to do???? Link to post Share on other sites
Hunny Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 OMG how did you sit there and watch that?!? No way i could have done i'd have been straight over there!! But firstly, no, he cant catch up with her simple as that, you obviously feel threatened by her so he should be understanding towards your feelings hun, secondly if you see her again tell her to back off. P.S. if she had introduced herself to me as my bf's 6th grade gf then i'd have said " hi im his current gf and love of his life ;)" he was clearly disrespecting you though letting her flirt with him like that. Dont put up with it babe. xxx Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Let him know that thier behavior was not 'friends', and that you are not comfortable with them getting 'friendly' like that again. Perhaps you could arrange it so that their 'catching up' is done entirely in your presence by suggesting that the three of you go out to dinner or something together? That's a great way of seeing what his motivation is in this. If he refuses and insists on seeing her alone, and makes a big to-do about his "privacy" over his "best friend since grade school" (yes, when a guy wants to sleep with someone he will rewrite history and try to make it look like these two have been the best of friends for years even though you've never even heard of her until her hands happened to be all over him) - particularly in the setting of a 'night out' then you'll know what the motivation really is - and given what you have already seen - 'catching up' means 'sleeping together'. If that happens, then you may want to realize that in general, when someone wants to cheat - they will make it happen eventually. If your guy is intent on 'catching up' with this girl, there is little you can do to stop it. Your only bargaining chip here is your relationship. Let him know that 'catching up' (even to the extent that you find her phone number or email around and he has hidden this from you) = the end of your relationship and be prepared to follow through. If he knows that without a doubt he will lose you and knows that there is no way in hell he will get away with messing with this girl, and there will be absolutely no forgiveness if he does so - perhaps he won't be as interested in 'catching up'. People tend to cheat to the extent they think they can get away with or be forgiven for. Link to post Share on other sites
CarmenIbanez Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 is the idea of confronting her and telling her to "back off". It isn't your job to do this, it's his. Unfortunately for you, she is not the problem, he is. He is the one with a commitment to you, not her. So address the problem to him. Link to post Share on other sites
KuZTomByKeChiK Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 first off you should and need to ask him "why did he have to go to a different table if there was nothing to hide" I think you should tell him what was obseverd by your other friends and yourself and also how he cant stop talking about her. IMO and similar situation if you dont put your foot down now and say something to her also, she could become a bigger problem for you down the road Link to post Share on other sites
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