Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 12, 2021 Author Share Posted January 12, 2021 11 hours ago, BaileyB said: Why is causing you to feel unhappy? When were you last happy, consistently happy? What was happening in your life at that time - how can you get back to that place? When I felt like he was a different person but I found out he’s nothing like he said Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted January 12, 2021 Share Posted January 12, 2021 Break it off with him, find someone else and be happy again. The first few steps are the hardest then it gets easier. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 9 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: When I felt like he was a different person but I found out he’s nothing like he said The last time you were happy was when you believed this man to be a different person. Unfortunately, going back to that place is not possible. It’s not possible, because you now have different information. This happens all the time - we are gathering new information everyday and we have to make decisions and adapt when we learn more information... So, you have information that this man is nothing like he said, and that is making you very unhappy. What are you going to do with that information? Is leaving an option? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 13, 2021 Author Share Posted January 13, 2021 4 hours ago, BaileyB said: The last time you were happy was when you believed this man to be a different person. Unfortunately, going back to that place is not possible. It’s not possible, because you now have different information. This happens all the time - we are gathering new information everyday and we have to make decisions and adapt when we learn more information... So, you have information that this man is nothing like he said, and that is making you very unhappy. What are you going to do with that information? Is leaving an option? Yeah it is but I want to find someone else first Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 (edited) You don’t need someone else first. You need to learn how to be your happiest self even when you are on your own. get an appt with the counselor! Call your health Ins company and ask for 3 referrals set up an appt by phone. Most counselors are strictly doing their appointments by a phone call. call right away. Interview 3 and choose one - check in once a week for the first month. Try out all suggestions the counselor makes! See how things go from there. this is how YOU help YOURSELF. I don’t rely on anyone or anything to make me happy - that comes from within! avoid alcohol and drugs that alter your mind - that’s dangerous when you’re depressed. Edited January 13, 2021 by S2B Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 8 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yeah it is but I want to find someone else first I personally would rather be single than in a bad relationship. Be very careful that your desperation to have someone in your life doesn’t prompt you to make a poor choice. Being single for a while would not be a bad thing, it would give you time to reflect on what happened in your previous relationship so that hopefully you make better choices... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 13 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yeah it is but I want to find someone else first This is just sad and so so wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
trident_2020 Posted January 13, 2021 Share Posted January 13, 2021 13 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yeah it is but I want to find someone else first You're afraid to be alone. You really need to work on that. Using a boyfriend as a crutch isn't such a great idea as you're already finding out. 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted January 28, 2021 Share Posted January 28, 2021 On 12/14/2020 at 2:53 PM, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Sleeping with a guy What's to regret? Did you enjoy yourself? Was it consensual? A one night stand? Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 On 12/14/2020 at 3:53 PM, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Sleeping with a guy Oh my goodness, we've all been there. Just because you slept with a guy doesn't mean you're attached to him forever or you have him permanently stamped on you. Let it go. Just be happy that you're no longer involved with him and you can walk away and move forward. It's ok to sleep with someone and then later realize you don't like the person. There's no point in dwelling on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted January 30, 2021 Share Posted January 30, 2021 Depending on where you are like you said it can be tricky with COVID which has taken some other options off the table. But easiest way is just to do something fun which you enjoy to occupy your time and focus your mind on that activity for a while a s let the emotional energy die down . If you have a hobby or a new skill or activity you want to learn now is a good time to start. Where I am lockdown is not so bad but I have many friends living in Europe who are in tight lockdown. One of the things they have been doing is organising online events parties and I've joined a few to catch up. They host dinner events where we all cook our own meals at home and just talk and have a few drinks. We have had online card and board game nights. We had a big poker nights where we gambled small amounts of money and had video chat at the same time. Things like this. If you can meet in person why don't you try organizing an online event with a group of friends ? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted January 30, 2021 Author Share Posted January 30, 2021 On 1/28/2021 at 3:34 PM, Watercolors said: What's to regret? Did you enjoy yourself? Was it consensual? A one night stand? At the time Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted February 13, 2021 Share Posted February 13, 2021 Try to do something that really uses your mind. Totally and forces you to think about it and not your regret. In time the regret weakens but obsessing about it only strengthens it. Writing and talking about it may worsen your feelings. That's my experience anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 I already told him I got plane tickets to see him in two weeks but something recently came up and I won’t be able to now. I don’t know how to tell him without him getting mad. He’s the kind that will think I’m lying to get out of it. I don’t know what to do. He gets really mad when things like this happen. What can I do? Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 Just be honest with him. If he is the kind who gets really mad, then why is he your boyfriend? Your boyfriend should not treat you like that. If he freaks out, then dump him. What you need to ask yourself is, do you really want to get out of this? If something came up, was it more important than the visit or are you desperate for a reason not to visit him. If you really don't want to visit the guy, be honest and get yourself out of this relationship. He sounds very intimidating and you do not have to go to see him or be in contact with him if you don't want to. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 11 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: I already told him I got plane tickets to see him in two weeks but something recently came up and I won’t be able to now. I don’t know how to tell him without him getting mad. He’s the kind that will think I’m lying to get out of it. I don’t know what to do. He gets really mad when things like this happen. What can I do? For context, is this the man from your previous threads? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 5 minutes ago, Minneloa said: For context, is this the man from your previous threads? Yes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 6 minutes ago, Minneloa said: For context, is this the man from your previous threads?i I’m just scared Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 9 minutes ago, spiderowl said: Just be honest with him. If he is the kind who gets really mad, then why is he your boyfriend? Your boyfriend should not treat you like that. If he freaks out, then dump him. What you need to ask yourself is, do you really want to get out of this? If something came up, was it more important than the visit or are you desperate for a reason not to visit him. If you really don't want to visit the guy, be honest and get yourself out of this relationship. He sounds very intimidating and you do not have to go to see him or be in contact with him if you don't want to. He wants to show people I’m real because they don’t believe him plus he’s the one that told me he wants me to come up there at that date and he set the dates for me and told me to buy plane tickets Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 16 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: without him getting mad. He’s the kind that will think I’m lying to get out of it He gets really mad when things like this happen. What can I do? You breakup. You are in an abusive relationship. You don't remain in a relationship when the man's reaction scares you. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 Just now, Gaeta said: You breakup. You are in an abusive relationship. You don't remain in a relationship when the man's reaction scares you. He injured his ex before and she said it was because she provoked him which is never an excuse Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 5 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: He wants to show people I’m real because they don’t believe him plus he’s the one that told me he wants me to come up there at that date and he set the dates for me and told me to buy plane tickets So he is telling you what to do? Is he a controlling guy? Do you really want to go and see him? Link to post Share on other sites
Minneloa Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 7 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: He wants to show people I’m real because they don’t believe him plus he’s the one that told me he wants me to come up there at that date and he set the dates for me and told me to buy plane tickets Do you want to go visit him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 6 minutes ago, spiderowl said: So he is telling you what to do? Is he a controlling guy? Do you really want to go and see him? He wanted the passwords to my account to make sure I blocked one of my friends. No not really now Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 3 minutes ago, Minneloa said: Do you want to go visit him? Not anymore after how he’s been acting Link to post Share on other sites
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