d0nnivain Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 1 hour ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: He’s always saying things like “for all you know I could have been cheating this whole time of course I haven’t but you know” Then tell him not to bother. Give him his freedom to date anybody he wants. Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 6 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Why would she defend him and tell me he’s a good guy What does it matter? He injured someone. In what world is that ok? Why on Earth would you be with someone who does that? Him being a mentally ill abuser who has you living in fear isn't enough for you to break up with him, and someone else's deluded rationalizations about his character are more than enough reason for you to stay? Why? 6 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: and I have nothing to worry about? Considering you started this thread because he is literally giving you a lot to worry about, don't you think it's perhaps time you reassess this whole situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 40 minutes ago, Gaeta said: How does that make you feel? Do you have a mom, sister/brother to talk to? Yes I do Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 6 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Why would she defend him and tell me he’s a good guy and I have nothing to worry about? Because for some twisted reason she wants his approval. Don't worry about her relationship with him, just think about your own safety. You say you know he has a mental illness, so if you're smart enough to figure that out, why aren't you reacting by removing him from your life? You know sometimes people get into very dangerous situations because they choose to hang out with creeps? Don't be one of them. Don't end up a domestic violence statistic, or much worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 4, 2021 Author Share Posted March 4, 2021 1 minute ago, MsJayne said: Because for some twisted reason she wants his approval. Don't worry about her relationship with him, just think about your own safety. You say you know he has a mental illness, so if you're smart enough to figure that out, why aren't you reacting by removing him from your life? You know sometimes people get into very dangerous situations because they choose to hang out with creeps? Don't be one of them. Don't end up a domestic violence statistic, or much worse. He said he’s trying to be a better person. She also doesn’t talk to him anymore but somehow she knew how long we’ve been talking and it’s not posted on social media Link to post Share on other sites
normal person Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 4 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: He said he’s trying to be a better person. Then why don't you say something like "If you're trying to be a better person, you can give me the benefit of the doubt that something came up and not get mad at me for having to cancel the trip?" Why can't you say that? Better yet, why can't you break up with him and find a partner who's actually good and not someone who's simply aspiring to be good while you live in fear? I don't really understand the rhetoric. Why do you want to be with someone like that, and if you don't, why are you giving so much credence to these paltry excuses and justifications for his abhorrent behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 Hmm, he sounds like a complete and utter tool, the sort of person who will drag you down into the toilet with him, and that's my last word on this topic. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 (edited) From your previous posts (which I can not find), he’s hurt you before - has he not? He’s made you do things that you didn’t want to do? And here, he’s threatening you with cheating. You are afraid he will get angry if you don’t visit. He monitors your communication. Quote He’s the kind of person that posts people’s personal information online Does he have pictures and/or videos of you? Tell me If I’m wrong, but this is an abusive relationship. Full stop. He is a controlling and abusive man. You don’t live near the man. Don’t board that plane. Block him. Change your passwords. And tell your mother/sister so they can help you to leave this man behind... please. Edited March 4, 2021 by BaileyB 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 1 hour ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yes I do Tell your mother/sister/brother you're afraid of him. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 4, 2021 Share Posted March 4, 2021 @Confusedcupcakegirl: How does he spy on you? You think he's spying your phone? You know there are ways to delete spyware he may have installed on your phone right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 5, 2021 Author Share Posted March 5, 2021 27 minutes ago, Gaeta said: @Confusedcupcakegirl: How does he spy on you? You think he's spying your phone? You know there are ways to delete spyware he may have installed on your phone right? What’s weird is he brings things up I talk about with my friends and family. Like how would he know what I’m doing? He even mentioned something else that he never talked about before the day after I did it. Could he have put something on my logins when I was in the bathroom for a two minutes? Could he have hacked my webcam? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 5, 2021 Author Share Posted March 5, 2021 36 minutes ago, BaileyB said: From your previous posts (which I can not find), he’s hurt you before - has he not? He’s made you do things that you didn’t want to do? And here, he’s threatening you with cheating. You are afraid he will get angry if you don’t visit. He monitors your communication. Does he have pictures and/or videos of you? Tell me If I’m wrong, but this is an abusive relationship. Full stop. He is a controlling and abusive man. You don’t live near the man. Don’t board that plane. Block him. Change your passwords. And tell your mother/sister so they can help you to leave this man behind... please. Every time I’m a little late talking to him he acts annoyed and says “why were you late?” But sometimes he has been late and acts like it’s okay because he works more than I do. I’m so done with this Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 7 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: What’s weird is he brings things up I talk about with my friends and family. Like how would he know what I’m doing? He even mentioned something else that he never talked about before the day after I did it. Could he have put something on my logins when I was in the bathroom for a two minutes? Could he have hacked my webcam? Anything is possible. You have to do a factory reset on your phone and it will delete anything he may have installed on your phone. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 13 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: Yes I do Excellent. Tell your mother what's going on. Give her your phone, so she can text him: "I can't make it". That way you'll feel better. Alternatively, have your mother text from her phone that you can't make it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 5, 2021 Author Share Posted March 5, 2021 He asks people if I’m deleted off websites. He had people kick me out of group chats. They don’t know how he is but I don’t know if I should tell them or not. I really want to. They would cancel him if they knew. He asks if he can delete it for me. He questions me constantly when I’m going to delete it. I’m trying to get away but I’m just doing it at my own pace: I’m afraid he’ll message my family or come down here Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Please, take all of those threats and go see your mom or sibling and tell them all, and ask them to help you get rid of this guy. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 You’re his possession and property now..... Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 32 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: They would cancel him if they knew. That's a clue that you should cancel him too. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 A) People could help you better if you kept all your posts in the same thread as they are about the same thing essentially. B) You are basically indicating that you are being abused. Now is the time to do what you need to do. If you are worried about him putting stuff about you online, go to the police and file reports and restraining orders. Then cut ties & change your phone number and passwords and set social media to private. At a certain point (NOW) you need to stop wanting to vent about it and actually take action. Staying entangled becomes like a choice if you aren't taking active steps that are available to you to UNTANGLE 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Let your parents/therapist see all this info Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 2 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said: He asks people if I’m deleted off websites. He had people kick me out of group chats. They don’t know how he is but I don’t know if I should tell them or not. I really want to. They would cancel him if they knew. He asks if he can delete it for me. He questions me constantly when I’m going to delete it. I’m trying to get away but I’m just doing it at my own pace: I’m afraid he’ll message my family or come down here Just cut him out of your life. Make copies -- paper & electronic -- of every threat or demand he has made. Then delete & block everywhere. You have to free yourself of this idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 5, 2021 Share Posted March 5, 2021 Get a restraining order. When he comes in contact with you, you call the police. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 12, 2021 Author Share Posted March 12, 2021 We had sex a little over three months ago. We are long distance he told me multiple times he’s never been with a prostitute. Then one day he said even if it was a long time ago and they regretted it? Like a long time ago? Then he said “I’ve been with one but we didn’t go all the way but they gave me a bj.” Then he said “are you going to leave me?” And then he said “I wasn’t being serious.” He jokes around a lot so I don’t know if there was truth to that or not. He said he thought about it when he was 18. He’s almost 22 now. So that would have been when he did it. I personally told him I didn’t want to be with a guy that’s been with a prostitute and I gave him a chance to tell me multiple times. He said he promises he was a virgin. He told me he was a virgin two weeks into talking before prostitutes got brought up so I don’t know why he would lie about being a virgin. I don’t want to be known as the girl that had sex with a guy that was with a prostitute. I wouldn’t have if I would have known. I’m too good for that. I’d never do that. My family and friends would laugh at me. I know some of you may not agree with me but that’s just my preference Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 12, 2021 Share Posted March 12, 2021 You’ve told this story multiple times and everyone is told you to cease all communication with this person and move on with your life. If he tries to bother you, get a restraining order Link to post Share on other sites
Author Confusedcupcakegirl Posted March 12, 2021 Author Share Posted March 12, 2021 10 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: You’ve told this story multiple times and everyone is told you to cease all communication with this person and move on with your life. If he tries to bother you, get a restraining order He may have exposed me to hpv Link to post Share on other sites
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