LDR complicated with regrets

[poppyfields]

4 hours ago, Mystery4u said:

Not sure why, I read it the first time.

OP can think whatever she thinks she is feeling sure, but it's a fact it is not real love, or a real relationship, as you can't have that with someone you have never met. Virtual doesn't count as real love or a real relationship.

Lol at it's a fact. 🤣  And what's "real" love?  Who gets to define what real love is for another person?  You?  Lol

I know for a fact love does happen on line because it's happened to me and countless others.  

A friend of mine fell in love on line, met the man one year later (they lived in different countries) and they got married four months later!  Many more stories just like that.

It can and does happen, no matter what it's based on.  And it's not always "fantasy" either. You are talking, interacting, connecting with a real person, a human being, not some robot devoid of emotion. 

You cannot tell me Mystery that what my friend was feeling wasn't real, or what I was feeling wasn't real or what the OP feels isn't real.

You don't know that, you're not them.  Just because it never happened to you does not mean it's a fact that it cannot happen. 

But hey we can agree to disagree, I have no problem with that.  😄

 

Edited October 22, 2020 by poppyfields

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

We had sex 4 days ago. I found out something disturbing about him. I feel like his dna is forever inside me and on me. I feel like his kisses are still on me. He’s not my first but I still feel bad. What should I do? How can I get over this? Are his kisses and everything still on me? 

[Fletch Lives]

It will take some time to get over it. It will be okay

[kismetkismet]

His DNA and kisses are not on or in you or anything like that. As the memory fades, so will the ick. 

[Wiseman2]

On 10/20/2020 at 12:32 PM, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I’m in an ldr relationship. We’ve been in talking for 6 months. We plan on meeting soon. He told me he poops himself because it turns him on and he likes to sit in it. I don’t know how to feel about this but I can’t help but be grossed out. I’m not trolling either. I’m literally being serious. I was shocked when he told me. I’m worried when we do meet I’ll get an infection from poop. I feel like I shouldn’t love him because of this and that I’m wrong for it. Everything is okay but the idea I’m with a guy that poops himself. People would frown upon that. Wouldn’t that look bad for me? I love him so much but this is a problem 😔he said he won’t do it anymore but I don’t know.

Is this the guy?. What was the disturbing thing your discovered after sex, if you knew this before?

Don't worry your body cleanses itself. Take a bath, see a doctor, delete and block him.

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

1 hour ago, kismetkismet said:

His DNA and kisses are not on or in you or anything like that. As the memory fades, so will the ick. 

 

1 hour ago, kismetkismet said:

His DNA and kisses are not on or in you or anything like that. As the memory fades, so will the ick. 

We kissed though and had sex. How are they not?

[kendahke]

9 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

 

We kissed though and had sex. How are they not?

because you've taken showers since (I hope you have) and the vagina is self cleaning.

is this the same guy that Wiseman's post is talking about?

[kismetkismet]

Because it was 4 days ago and I assume you had a shower since then. I guess if you had unprotected sex with him and he came inside of you it could technically be in you for 1 more day, but your body doesn't hold onto DNA that has touched you indefinitely. 

Edited December 2, 2020 by kismetkismet

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

11 minutes ago, kendahke said:

because you've taken showers since (I hope you have) and the vagina is self cleaning.

is this the same guy that Wiseman's post is talking about?

Yes and yes I have 

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

11 minutes ago, kismetkismet said:

Because it was 4 days ago and I assume you had a shower since then. I guess if you had unprotected sex with him and he came inside of you it could technically be in you for 1 more day, but your body doesn't hold onto DNA that has touched you indefinitely. 

What about his spit from kissing?

[kismetkismet]

Your body is self cleaning, and I'm sure you've also physically cleaned it yourself. His spit is long gone, there is no physical trace of him on you. 

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

Just now, kismetkismet said:

Your body is self cleaning, and I'm sure you've also physically cleaned it yourself. His spit is long gone, there is no physical trace of him on you. 

Thank goodness. Thank you for telling me. I have OCD. Was it at one point though?

[kendahke]

12 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

What about his spit from kissing?

What about it? Do you know the acid in the stomach is so strong that it can take the enamel off your teeth?

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

Just now, kendahke said:

What about it? Do you know the acid in the stomach is so strong that it can take the enamel off your teeth?

Is it still in my mouth?

[basil67]

Not if you brushed your teeth, rinsed and spat.

You say you have OCD.  What strategies has your therapist given you for overcoming persistent thought patterns?

Edited December 2, 2020 by basil67

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Not if you brushed your teeth, rinsed and spat.

You say you have OCD.  What strategies has your therapist given you for overcoming persistent thought patterns?

I haven’t been to a therapist in years 

[Crazelnut]

10 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I haven’t been to a therapist in years 

No offense, but you should go back.

Edited December 2, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Removed inappropriate comment.

[basil67]

Ok, so what strategies did your previous therapist give you to help overcome unwanted thought patterns?

 

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

Just now, basil67 said:

Ok, so what strategies did your previous therapist give you to help overcome unwanted thought patterns?

 

Just to ask myself if what I’m worried about is rational 

[basil67]

And have you asked yourself if this is a rational fear?   What conclusion did you come up with?

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

14 minutes ago, basil67 said:

And have you asked yourself if this is a rational fear?   What conclusion did you come up with?

I know it isn’t but my mind keeps saying “he’s forever a part of you.” 

[basil67]

So going back to the therapy, what strategies did the therapist give you for when you know it's not a rational fear?

[major_merrick]

Eww factor.  It is mostly in your head.  Logically, you're still clean if you have showered. 

[Wiseman2]

10 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

Is it still in my mouth?

Are you referring to oral sex and felt disgusted by it?

Just curious about his scatophilia and what happened with that 

Was that part of the disgust you encountered?

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

He had such weird fetishes. He’s creepy. I’ve been dating him and had sex with him a few times but no one knows that. I told all my friends that he’s creepy and weird. He is really weird. He makes me mad a lot and he’s just all around gross. I’m going to say that to him one day in front of a lot of people. How should I go about it? 

Also how can I do it without people know I had sex with him? No one knows except one friend I told her not to tell anyone. I’m really sick of him. He’s nasty. What kind of weirdo does that? He’s always exposing people. Wait until I tell people he knows.