LDR complicated with regrets

[ExpatInItaly]

6 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

He had such weird fetishes. He’s creepy. I’ve been dating him and had sex with him a few times but no one knows that. I told all my friends that he’s creepy and weird. He is really weird. He makes me mad a lot and he’s just all around gross. I’m going to say that to him one day in front of a lot of people. How should I go about it? 

Why on earth would you do this? 

Just stop all contact with him and be done with it. 

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

3 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Why on earth would you do this? 

Just stop all contact with him and be done with it. 

He’s so gross

[basil67]

I second @ExpatInItaly.   I have no idea why you'd want to do this.   Just block him and move on.

[Miss Spider]

Why expose him when you can just put a fb/Craigslist ad out on him with his address and number saying he’s giving away a free PS 5 on Sunday morning? 
 

Just kidding. Don’t do that. Hurting him won’t solve anything.  Keep working with your therapists on way to manage your OCD and try to move on from it. You’ll feel better 

Edited December 9, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[ExpatInItaly]

41 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

He’s so gross

So?

Why does that necessitate a public announcement?

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

So?

Why does that necessitate a public announcement?

I regret it so much I feel like there’s so reason to go on sometimes 

[Miss Spider]

7 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I regret it so much I feel like there’s so reason to go on sometimes 

Talk to a therapist about it. This is a very unhealthy mindset. We all have regrets and gross exes. Life goes on. 

Edited December 9, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[FMW]

Definitely talk to a therapist/counselor.  Right away.  

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

4 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Talk to a therapist about it. This is a very unhealthy mindset. We all have regrets and gross exes. Life goes on. 

I don’t want to count him as one of my sex partners

[trident_2020]

I'm hoping you're just being dramatic, but if it's bothering you so much that you are doubting if you can go on, then it's time for professional help.

[introverted1]

5 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I don’t want to count him as one of my sex partners

That ship has sailed.

"Exposing" him is pointless and will make you look like the crazy one.

Just move on.

[lurker74]

It depends on what it is that is so gross. Is he into feet? Then shut your trap and move on. If he was into you pretending to be a minor, well, then you may want to strategize how you protect the community without also getting yourself into trouble. But without knowing what so "weird" it's impossible to know if you should do anything. Kink shaming is not a good thing, if that is all it is.

[Miss Spider]

He’s into poop play(srs) she’s talked about him before 

[notbroken]

In my opinion it would be a classless act to say anything about it unless you thought he was seriously a danger to the public.    Forget it.  Forget him.   Move on.   

[introverted1]

17 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

He’s into poop play(srs) she’s talked about him before 

Yeah, but she had sex with him after knowing about the scat play, so maybe it's something else? 

Edited December 9, 2020 by introverted1

[Acacia98]

1 hour ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

He’s so gross

So why are you having sex with him? I genuinely don't understand. I would have thought the first sensible step to take would be to put distance between you and him.

You'd better end things with him before you turn into a version of him (You say he likes to expose people and now you want to expose him).

[smackie9]

1 hour ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I don’t want to count him as one of my sex partners

As they say what is done is done. Learn to make better choices if you can't handle the emotional repercussions.

It's up to you to figure out how to let this go and move on.

Edited December 9, 2020 by smackie9

[smackie9]

Exposing him, or whatever is not going to stop your anxiety about this.

[MsJayne]

The only reason to "expose" another person is if they're a potential danger to other people. If the aim is just public humiliation, that's super uncool. The fact that he told you early on in your contact with him, before you met him, should have alerted you to the fact that he was looking for someone who would tolerate [him].

Edited December 10, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
disrespectful to OP

[Miss Spider]

15 hours ago, MsJayne said:

The only reason to "expose" another person is if they're a potential danger to other people. If the aim is just public humiliation, that's super uncool. The fact that he told you early on in your contact with him, before you met him, should have alerted you to the fact that he was looking for someone who would tolerate [him].

Agree she shouldn’t waste her time. (Sry)

Edited December 10, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
quoted text

[Ruby_Red]

38 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Exposing him, or whatever is not going to stop your anxiety about this.

Expose him for what exactly?

[Ruby_Red]

3 hours ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

He had such weird fetishes. He’s creepy. I’ve been dating him and had sex with him a few times but no one knows that. I told all my friends that he’s creepy and weird. He is really weird. He makes me mad a lot and he’s just all around gross. I’m going to say that to him one day in front of a lot of people. How should I go about it? 

Also how can I do it without people know I had sex with him? No one knows except one friend I told her not to tell anyone. I’m really sick of him. He’s nasty. What kind of weirdo does that? He’s always exposing people. Wait until I tell people he knows.

 

Ok, so based on the bolded, I’m sure everybody already knows. If you want to keep things secret, don’t tell anyone, except for maybe your mother (but even that’s not a guarantee), or maybe that one isolated friend that nobody knows, and who is not connected to anyone else in your circle. You already mentioned to friends how “gross” he is, and then told some other friend that you had sex, yeah - trust me, they’re talking. That ship has sailed. 

[MsJayne]

Cupcake , when you say he exposes other people, what do you mean? What other weird things does he do that make you say he's creepy?  In the beginning you said it was a LDR, but now you've met and you're seeing him, or were seeing him, regularly.  I'm kind of getting the impression that he was grooming you prior to meeting you. Are you much younger than him? Has he made you do anything that you didn't want to do? It's OK to tell, no one on here is ever going to know who you are. 

[Confusedcupcakegirl]

1 hour ago, MsJayne said:

Cupcake , when you say he exposes other people, what do you mean? What other weird things does he do that make you say he's creepy?  In the beginning you said it was a LDR, but now you've met and you're seeing him, or were seeing him, regularly.  I'm kind of getting the impression that he was grooming you prior to meeting you. Are you much younger than him? Has he made you do anything that you didn't want to do? It's OK to tell, no one on here is ever going to know who you are. 

I’m afraid he’ll see this. No I’m not younger. He has talked about children sexually 

[MsJayne]

2 minutes ago, Confusedcupcakegirl said:

I’m afraid he’ll see this. No I’m not younger. He has talked about children sexually 

He's not going to see this unless you tell him about it. It's an anonymous website and the chances of him happening across it and then finding your posts is about a trillion billion to one, so you need to try and stop worrying about that.  Talking about children sexually can be, (often is), a precursor to acting upon it. He may be, again, grooming you so that it becomes normalised to you. Is there someone you trust who you can discuss this with and get good advice? I'm genuinely concerned for you. I'm also concerned for other people who may encounter this dude.