Elleinad Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 (edited) For the first time in a few months I had a conversation with my ex. That was a mistake in itself however my stepmom is my ex’s boss, and they’ve know each other a long time. I didn’t expect my stepmom to take my side when we split up I expected her to remain neutral at least. She hasn’t mentioned the break up to me, not got involved at all which I had just assumed she had done with him too. Anyway, today he told me that when we split she had told him that he’s better off without me, and that I scream like my mother. Now this woman has been in my life for 15 years. I’ve never given her any sort of hassle, I’ve respected my her and my dads relationship and I’ve always thought we were ok. I am shocked that she has said this. My ex 100% would not have made it up, there is no reason for him to and I know him well enough to know it isn’t something he would do. I am so hurt and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to see or speak to her ever again but that isn’t fair on my dad. I love him and spend a lot of time with him, and obviously she is always around. I hate confrontation and she has no idea what I went through in that relationship, she’s only heard his side. I did turn a little crazy after the breakup but the comment from her was not fair. I know i won’t even be able to speak to my Dad at the moment without getting upset. I suppose it proves you can never really trust someone, no matter how well you think you know them. Edited October 22, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator language Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 (edited) People can pull all sorts of baloney, unfortunately. A few possibilities: - She may have resented you at some level and it bubbled up now under "safer" circumstances. - She may have disliked you but kept it hidden. - She may be attempting to strengthen her friendship bond with your ex by making you the mutual "bad guy". - This may actually be about your mother, not you, but is coming out this way for some reason, such as she doesn't want to face your mom directly or have the opportunity to. - People change over time, and possibly she now likes "playing games" like this with people, e.g. because she is extremely bored and needs to generate drama (or for some other reason). - (Unlikely but possible) she may have developed a psychological issue such as a personality disorder, anxiety disorder, or drug addiction (among others); these things can cause people to lash out. There are other possibilities as well. I think in your shoes what I would do it maintain the relationship with the dad while minimizing contact with her until this blows over and/or it feels "safe" to do so. Edited October 22, 2020 by mark clemson Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted October 22, 2020 Share Posted October 22, 2020 Many people (most people?) end up deciding to "butter their bread on both sides." Nice to your face, but say things behind your back. Then the person they are talking with while gossiping about you thinks they are liked. Then you hear the bad things about them. Honestly, you shouldn't be all that surprised. In return? Do similarly, if you feel the need. Keep things pleasant between the two of you, to suit your own purposes. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 Unfortunately your step mother sounds like a very angry bitter woman. Remain close to your father, but knowing this about her now is a good reason to not confide in her and be cordial and polite only. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 23, 2020 Share Posted October 23, 2020 14 hours ago, Elleinad said: she had told him that he’s better off without me, and that I scream like my mother. "You are better off without her" is standard stuff to say, I would take no heed of that. As for screaming like your mother, do you? Link to post Share on other sites
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