schlumpy Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 13 hours ago, MaraMay said: Only a few days later and I'm already relieved, that I didn't send that letter. We found out by coincidence, that a good friend of my cousin's best friend is working with the father of the girl. The father told his colleagues that his daughter has a new boyfriend, who is a little bit older. So 13 years is a little bit. Good to know. 😂 Mara he has most likely rewritten your marital history to put himself in a more favorable light. It's what cheaters do. Then avoid responsibility for their actions and use words to compensate. It is in your interest that your side of the story gets into wide circulation. Lies repeated without refutation are lies that become the truth. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 15, 2020 Author Share Posted November 15, 2020 7 hours ago, schlumpy said: It is in your interest that your side of the story gets into wide circulation. Lies repeated without refutation are lies that become the truth. I agree with you but he's so mad at the moment that I'm trying to not stand in the line of fire. Thank god I have a cousin, who know tons of people and her goal for the last few weeks has been to correct gossip and spread the truth. And our inside in the company of the father's girl also knows the truth. So it will sure take some time, but in the end her parents will hear the truth from many different people and they can't run away from that or keep a blind eye forever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 27 minutes ago, MaraMay said: I agree with you but he's so mad at the moment that I'm trying to not stand in the line of fire. Who is he mad at and why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 15, 2020 Author Share Posted November 15, 2020 40 minutes ago, stillafool said: Who is he mad at and why? He's mad at me for a lot of different reasons actually. Even though most of them are not even my fault. He's mad cause I stopped counseling. (I don't know why I should have continued, after he told me four times that he's done with me and doesn't love me anymore) He's mad that he can't see his son as often as it fits him. (He thought he could drop by as often as he likes and play happy little family whenever she has other things to do) He's mad cause lawyers cost a lot of money. (Who would have thought) He's mad that everyone now knows that he has left me for a 17-year old girl. (Should have thought about that before dating her.) And he's probably mad, that I look better than ever and keep on living my life even though he has left me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 1 hour ago, MaraMay said: He's mad that he can't see his son as often as it fits him. (He thought he could drop by as often as he likes and play happy little family whenever she has other things to do) Is it fair to his son to not be able to see his father when he wants to? I can understand you not wanting him to show up unannounced or to want to play happy family; but why can't arrangements be made for him to take his son and spend time with him even though you two are separated? Why should the child be punished? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 15, 2020 Author Share Posted November 15, 2020 3 minutes ago, stillafool said: Is it fair to his son to not be able to see his father when he wants to? I can understand you not wanting him to show up unannounced or to want to play happy family; but why can't arrangements be made for him to take his son and spend time with him even though you two are separated? Why should the child be punished? I'm not punishing our child. I make sure, that he's as save as he can be.... In those two and a half years that the three of us have been living together, my EH has never watched after him on his own. The way he is acting right now doesn't show me that this has changed. And statements about suicide and other things he's done in the past few months don't help this either. We have arranged a fix schedule for him to have is son... while his parents are present and I won't waver from this. But I thank you for your concern. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 15 minutes ago, MaraMay said: We have arranged a fix schedule for him to have is son... while his parents are present and I won't waver from this. But I thank you for your concern. But I thought you weren't around when he comes over to see him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 16, 2020 Author Share Posted November 16, 2020 10 hours ago, stillafool said: But I thought you weren't around when he comes over to see him. I'm not. My dad gives him our child on the fixed dates... my husband accommodated by his mother takes our child... they go to his parents house, where he lives now and stay there till he brings our child back home, where my dad takes him back. I'll stay inside our house, so I don't see or hear him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 So I'm wondering.. is the fog lifting already.. or is he just trying to manipulate me again. I haven't talked to him for four weeks. Haven't seen him either. Today we had to communicate though because of some documents concerning our son. He's been ultra friendly. After every message saying "Thank you". And the last message he sent he ended it with: "I wish the both of you a great day. How are you doing?" I didn't respond. Now he wrote me if he could call me later concerning these documents. I don't want to talk to him. But I have to know what going on with those documents. Why can't he just write it. Why do I have to hear his voice! Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 7 minutes ago, MaraMay said: Now he wrote me if he could call me later concerning these documents. I don't want to talk to him. But I have to know what going on with those documents. Why can't he just write it. Why do I have to hear his voice! Cheaters exhibit this type of behavior because it reduces the guilt load. After all, if he can get you to talk to him then it can't be that bad, now can it? Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 On 10/25/2020 at 5:59 AM, MaraMay said: her parents are okay with it, as long as her grades at school are good. Don't ask me, what kind of bulls*** this is. This is awful on a lot of levels...and your husband writing to his mother about it? I know what I'd say to my son. Lot of dysfunctional people here colluding with each other. Hope you can work your way through it and make a happier life for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 So I told him, that I wouldn't be talking to him and he can write me a text message or write me. Now he's freaking out! "Where are you" "Why won't you talk to me" "Where is our son" "Why wouldn't you be able to talk to me" "This is not funny" I think it's hilarious. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Exactly. Don't take the bait. Get every communication in writing through text. No need to call if there is a question about your son, paperwork, etc. Just text back "text me your question". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 23, 2020 Author Share Posted November 23, 2020 3 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Exactly. Don't take the bait. Oh he's hilarious. After trying to convince me for two! hours to take his phone call... cause it was oh so important and far to complicate to write... he surrendered. Told me I was being childish and he was able to write his questions down in 3 sentences. I'm so proud of him He's probably running around now... telling everyone how right he was in leaving me cause I'm far to stubborn and that I'm hell-bent on getting my way... just like he told me when he left. 🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 24, 2020 Share Posted November 24, 2020 As long as you are consistent in how you are handling him and the situation he can say what he wants. People that have eyes know different. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted November 27, 2020 Author Share Posted November 27, 2020 So what now... After DDay he's blocked me from all of his social media accounts and "unfollowed" "unliked" me everywhere. No problem for me... But after our discussion where I didn't answer the phone... he suddenly unblocked me EVERYWHERE and is following me again. And to top it all... he's now also following my new friends from my son's playgroup on social media after that. WTH?!? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 27, 2020 Share Posted November 27, 2020 Keep up the pressure Mara. He thought he knew how you would react. Keep him off balance and when he falls don't let him get up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MaraMay Posted December 7, 2020 Author Share Posted December 7, 2020 So.......... I met someone. It wasn't my intention and I don't even know where this is going, but I like him. We've been on some dates and I'm overwhelmed. There are moments were I think: This is wrong... this isn't my husband. This isn't right. And then I'm trying to draw back... but I can't keep it up that long... cause I MISS him. Of course he knows about my story. And he knows that I'm not sure what I want. He gives me all the time I want. Let's me set the "rules". During the day... when I'm alone or doing my normal chores... thoughts about my husband are being replaced by thoughts about this new man. And I feel light Link to post Share on other sites
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