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Starting over again


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Finally decided to start over again,dating.It has been a long break for me on this,went through a tough divorce back in January.Ex husband and I fought way too much and separated back last year of October.Good thing there was no physical and verbal abuse from him.It hurt me including him when we both decided to file for divorce in November of 2019.Then in August,I was going to start dating again until I got the news from my doctor I had breast cancer which was very hard on me.Good news was it was caught early.Good news was on October 15th,was finally found to be cancer free.Now been thinking it over and it's time.I want it to be my last and final marriage,2 bad marriages have been bad enough.First marriage,ex husband decided to leave me and filed for divorce for a stupid reason,We wanted kids together and found out I can't get pregnant.He was real angry about it and said he was leaving me when we got home and did.I told him there were other options and would not listen on the way home.I want the right guy in my life,these two exes were not right for me at all.My first ex husband would not treat me right at times.This another thing,I want someone in my life that will treat me right.I had a rough 2020 and 2021 needs to be better

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Hi LeniA,

I am sorry you have had such a difficult time.

My suggestion, for what it's worth is that you need to take a break to heal from this trauma. Take time out without dating and work on yourself. Find out what you really want in life, who you are where you want to go. Get therapy, counselling, learn to set boundaries and go from there.

Good luck x

 

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OP, good to read you're currently in remission from your cancer. Hope that continues....

If you had to focus on one area, how would you say your people-picker has improved as a result of the great experiences you've had from two marriages. Even if it ends, marriage teaches us. In the realm of picking a partner, how do you believe you've benefited from that experience?

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Hi. First of all, grats on being cancer-free. 
 

I agree with the other person that it is in your best interests to [b] take things slow[/b] in your search for next (and ideally last) man. 
 

I’ve seen a lot of women come out of a divorce or LTR and out of loneliness or urgency to find something, end up picking the wrong person and hurt themselves or others. Or jump to the first guy online who gives them attention and feeds them sweet words. 
 

Take your time and be selective. Be open and trusting, but not naive. Can’t hurry love. Good luck !!!
 


 

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Talking dating in January,taking my time on it.I have been talking to a good friend whom is a dating coach and she has been giving me great advice

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On 10/24/2020 at 7:43 PM, LeniA said:

.I want the right guy in my life,these two exes were not right for me at all.

I think you have to do some work on why you chose these guys in the first place. Did you move too fast? Did you ignore flags early on?

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