my mom is driving me crazy!!

[PoemGirl]

I can't sleep because I am so angry right now!!!

 

I'm 16 and my mother is a paranoid, uptight, controlling tyrant. This evening, she confronted me with this poem that I had written. She was furious, and screaming nonsense. I was confused, and then angry when I realized that she had been in my room.

 

The story is she was cleaning up my room (although I've told her several times my room is off limits and that I am perfectly capable of cleaning my own room) and had "accidently" come across this poem that I had written for this creative writing club I'm a part of on my desk.

 

Everyone in our club was given a specific emotion, idea or situation to express in a poem. For example, lonely, love, lust, lost, etc. I had the emotion lust. Afterwards we are supposed to read each other's poems and guess which emotion the poem is expressing. So I wrote this poem expressing the emotion of lust.

 

My mother being the paranoid freak she is, read it and took the poem literally.

 

I have to explain that my mother is a total prude and control freak. I am not allowed to date, wear makeup, go to sleepovers, and stay out late. I always have to tell her where I'm going, where I am, everything!!!

 

My mother just jumped to conclusions and started screaming at me, asking me if I was sneaking behind her back, going out with some dirty boy and being sinful. One time she thought I was wearing lipstick when I wasn't and wouldn't let me leave the house until I had taken it off when I didn't even have any on to begin with!!

 

What anger me is she has no reason to doubt me. I'm a straight A student, I'm actually graduating this year, because I skipped a grade and am the most responsible, mature person there is. But no, just because my older sister made the dumb mistake of getting pregnant at my age, I have to pay for it!!

 

She told me that it wasn't poetry but crap and that I had a dirty mind!

I don't think the poem is dirty at all.

 

Here it is if you were wondering how could an innocent poem incite such a reaction.

 

I remember

The sacred lips

Of my candy boy

 

I drank

His salty kisses

They melted into my

Warm wet cup

Like

Liquid fever

 

That throbbing

Secret of his

Caramel breath

 

Still lingers here

 

I bleed

I smile

 

Squirming with desire

 

She hounded me all night, demanding me to tell her who "this boy" is. When I told her the poem was for my creative writing club, she didn't believe me!! WTF! She said, a teacher would not make a student write "that" kind of poem. I could barely explain myself. This is the last straw. Makes me want to leave. I can't wait till I leave for University!!!

[Lupin3]

Well, I'm not sure what kind of advice you want. Yes, your mom is incredibly controlling. it could be that she's overprotective, but it sounds more like she's taking something out on YOU that bothered HER as a child. You already know what to do. Get revenge by going out and getting drunk as hell and **** like 9 or 10 boys.

 

No, I'm just kidding. But seriously, you alreayd know what to do. You seem sensible enough not to do anything stupid, but just because she's your parent doesn't mean she should crush your childhood. You may need to sneak around her- a lot. But it's better to take the chance of getting caught then letting her ruin your life. If you can't work it out with her in a cival way, then **** her, go out and have some fun. Just don't do anything drastic and don't be stupid.

 

By the way, your poem wasn't actually half bad, usually poems by teenagers are horrible but it flowed pretty well.

[littlekitty]

I feel for you. Your Mum is obviously putting the issues of your sister, and her own worries on to you.

 

Unless you want to fight this all the way, my best advice is to try play it quiet, do what you've gotta do, and bide your time until you go to Uni.

 

She won't always rule your life, and once out from under her roof it will be easier for you to spread your wings.

 

Seems to me you just need to vent your frustration with the situation. You seem sensible and seem to understand her actions and be prepared to deal with them until you don't have to anymore.

 

Stay strong... you will lead your own life soon!

[PoemGirl]

My mom has cooled down a bit, but she offered to walk with me to my bus stop which is like 2 blocks away from our house. She thinks I shouldn't learn how to drive because she's afraid I'll get in a car accident and die or something. I have a feeling if and when I do move out, she'll just end up calling me everyday, asking how I am, if I'm doing ok, etc.

 

Ever since my father left her, she's focused all of her attention on me. I feel like if she can't appreciate me now, being this responsible and hard working, maybe I should just let loose and do whatever the hell I want. But I think I wouldn't be able to do that without feeling guilty.

 

She's always talking about me forgetting her when I grow up and leaving her to take care of herself when she gets old. When my older sister still lived with us my mother took out a part of her paychecks for herself, saying that she owed her for all those years she took care of her. Is it just me, or is that just completely wrong? How is it that parents have so much power (esp mothers) to make you feel so guilty and bad when you shouldn't be?

 

I'm such a goody, goody, even right now, in my computer class I feel guilt about doing something I shouldn't be, which is being on the internet. but who care!! I'm ahead of everyone else.

 

I guess my problems aren't that big a deal, almost everyone has a mother somewaht like this, no?

[Lupin3]

"She's always talking about me forgetting her when I grow up and leaving her to take care of herself when she gets old. When my older sister still lived with us my mother took out a part of her paychecks for herself, saying that she owed her for all those years she took care of her. Is it just me, or is that just completely wrong? How is it that parents have so much power (esp mothers) to make you feel so guilty and bad when you shouldn't be?"

 

No child EVER owes their parents for taking care of them. Your parents chose to bring you into this world, and they're SUPPOSED to take care of you. It's really the other way around- parents owe you something for the rest of your life, or at least until you're an adult.

[suegail]

And yet every parent has their own set of rules and they do have a right to parent in the way they see fit, providing they're not inflicting abuse. What your mom is trying to do is protect you, and while it might seem to you excessive or obsessive, someday you may feel you have reason to thank her for keeping you safe and out of situations which might have led to problems.

 

You have the entire rest of your life to manage on your own, you'll be making all your own decisions very soon. For the time being I would just try and keep the peace in your home, and it sounds to me like you do try, and obviously you're doing excellent in school.

 

Now, if I were your mom and came across that poem, I would have wondered and I would have asked a few questions, however I remember that during my own teenage years I spent a fair amount of time in the drug store huddled back in the corner by the magazine rack reading TRUE ROMANCE stories, and those were pretty steamy, so I guess I would have thought you might have picked up inspiration for your poem through some reading you may have done...at least that would be my hope! *S*

 

Best of luck...

[Hot Coco]

You sound like a really good kid. Don't screw that up by going wild and doing the opposite. To me it sounds like your mother REALLY doesn't want you to mess up the way your sister did. She probably blames herself for not being on top of things so she's going overboard with you.

 

If I were you I'd just continue to do what you've been doing and you'll be on your own before you know it. Come on here to vent if you need to and try to not get into it too much with your mother. Remind her that you're not your sister. You're a separate person.

[Deshanga]

I totally agree with you. My mom drives me nuts too. it also happen that i like to write poems, but I never show them to her because she mgiht take them the wrong way. I can see how a mom might get worried over something like that, btu she definitly should have given you a chance to explain. if I were a mom (which I'm not) I would be totally ok with if it was something you were assigned for school. I hate when parents jump to conclusions like that.

 

And she shouldn't have been snoing in your room either! I hate when my mome does that, I hide my report cards behind picture frames so she won't find it. I also bury my poems deep in notebooks and hiddne file son my computer. She doesn't know my password anyways.

 

You should explain to your mom that you really don't like it whens he invades your privacy and reads your stuff, and you wish she wouldn't jump to conclusions, and tell her that you want her tolet you explain before she jumps to conclusions and yells at you. I pity you, my parents are kind of strict too.