Suboxone

[Mia12]

My husband got off of pain pills 10yrs ago with the help of suboxone. He has continued to take it and never stopped. He drinks too and I know if he didn't get some high off of it he wouldn't take it. Is it unrealistic to me after 10yrs thinking he should not be taking it anymore? I feel like that is a long time and he just traded one habit for another esp mixing with alcohol.

[Wiseman2]

12 hours ago, Mia12 said:

My husband got off of pain pills 10yrs ago with the help of suboxone. He has continued to take it and never stopped. He drinks too and I know if he didn't get some high off of it he wouldn't take it. Is it unrealistic to me after 10yrs thinking he should not be taking it anymore? I feel like that is a long time and he just traded one habit for another esp mixing with alcohol.

You need to start going to Al-Anon to address why you stay in this and how to get out. Start the divorce paperwork and get your ducks in a row .

The sooner you can divorce, get help from Al-Anon the sooner you can salvage your life from the wreckage of being with an addict/ alcoholic.

[Ellener]

On 10/26/2020 at 5:25 PM, Mia12 said:

I feel like that is a long time and he just traded one habit for another esp mixing with alcohol.

Looks like it, where does he get the prescriptions from? It used to be a short-term opiate withdrawal support drug. It's considered better than methadone because it doesn't cause a 'high'...but ten years is a really long time and buprenorphine, the main ingredient, is addictive. And so of course is alcohol. 

Does he work? Does he talk to you about it? 

 

 

[Mia12]

My sisters friend was buying it off of the streets to get high and went to rehab so I have a feeling it gives him some sort of high or I know him he wouldn't be on it still. The first person who gave it to him ended up losing his license. He went 2wks cold turkey without it and withdrawals I begged him to stick it out. He tracked down someone to give it to him which is a psychiatrist. I was told they were weaning him off and he should be in months off of it well that was yrs ago. He religiously goes and gets it but will not go to the doctor for bp meds. He is definitely very addicted. I have seen some instances where people take it longer for heroin addiction but 10yrs is a really long time.

I to was told it is generally short term. He never mentions it he keeps them in his truck if I didn't get insurance notifications I may not know he was on it but I do. He is very secretive he does work everyday. That's some of the issue he is very functioning so he thinks nothing is wrong with any of it. I also think all these yrs on it has changed his personality and everything he is so different. 

[Ellener]

13 hours ago, Mia12 said:

he is very functioning so he thinks nothing is wrong with any of it.

Well for him there may not be, but if it affects/worries you then it's something he might have considered by now.

It's a painkiller and people with opiate/opiod addictions seem to have a lowered pain threshold, and a lowered emotional threshold for tolerating things like withdrawal. 

[major_merrick]

I've never taken suboxone, but my impression is that anything that is used to mitigate withdrawal can become an addiction itself.  I'm surprised he can have a steady supply of it for 10 years.  Probably not good for his health, especially his liver when combined with alcohol. 

The problem with addiction is that it is more about genetics and personality and not so much about the drugs.  I was formerly addicted to pain killers.  I'd kick the habit, then pick up another one.  I even OD'd a couple of times and ended up in the hospital.  I was high-functioning, too.  Managed to go to college and get decent jobs and put my life together, all while having issues in the background.  I've put that phase of my life behind me, but the cravings still show up once in a while.  Sobriety is more like a journey instead of a state of being.

Looking at your other threads, seems like this is just one issue of many.  While I don't think that a partner's addiction is a reason to end a marriage, the other issues might be.  You're going to have some hard decisions to make. 

[Mia12]

Yes there are tons of things in my marriage going on. The addiction part is just one but one I have been dealing with for 16yrs. I have worries about money and sometimes wonder if he buys them too. I saw in his truck and he is supposed to only take 1/2 a strip a day and that's what his script is for. He tells me when asked he doesn't take much but he is so dishonest about things I tend to not believe him. 

But I do think it has affected his personality, sex drive everything so it is a huge issue. He is not mean or anything just so different. I do wonder about what it is doing to his health too.

Edited October 28, 2020 by Mia12

[major_merrick]

He clearly doesn't want help, and doesn't care what it is doing to your marriage.  Even if you want to save your marriage, this is more than you can handle on your own.  You'll need a 3rd party involved - friend, family member, or counselor.  Continuing to ask him and pester him about what he's doing will just make him angry or he'll lie.  I'm not trying to convince you to leave, since I believe that saving a marriage is usually the best option.  But doing that takes the participation of both marriage partners and frequently somebody outside the marriage. 

Since you can't control him, you'll have to control you.  So what can YOU control right now?  For starters, you can put an end to any romantic emotional/physical contacts you're having outside your marriage.  If you want to save your marriage, you'll have to be "all in."  I know that's going to feel risky.  You'll need to make positive contact with a 3rd party who can help you out.  And, you'll have to find a way to show your husband that you still have respect for him, even if the truth is that you don't.  Women thrive on love, men thrive on respect.  You'll be more likely to get cooperation from him in that way.