Author Cookiesandough Posted November 9, 2020 Author Share Posted November 9, 2020 On 11/7/2020 at 6:31 PM, poppyfields said: shortskirts, I went through a period where I pretty much became a loner, where I had no desire for outside connections. My connections were limited to on-line friendships I made on forums like this and the friends I'd made during my travels throughout the US and Europe. And at work. And my family. The rest of the time I spent a massive amount of time reading. Anything I could get my hands on about interpersonal relationships, human behaviour, attraction, love, life! Did me a world of good, I learned a hell of a lot! I then started writing again, poetry mostly. You mentioned getting your art out, what type of art? Why not focus on that for a bit, not getting it out, but creating? Creating in and of itself can be quite rewarding. I could be wrong but I sense you feel a certain pressure to be outside making new friends/connections, versus something you naturally want to do, from your heart. I know I did. There is nothing wrong with preferring to be on your own, as long as you are content and happy. Maybe you can find a website whose members create the same art you do and you can connect that way? There is no law that says you must meet in person. I have found the on-line connections I've made with people all over the world to be incredibly rewarding! I believe there are friendships apps but I think a website whose members share a common interest like your art or gaming would be better. Just some things to consider, all the best. Thanks so much, poppy. This post was really helpful to me. It is cool that you write poetry. I think I will go back to creating more art/working on my portfolio. I do long for Irl connections with people though. I have nothing against online. It’s just different. It just takes a lot for me to feel motivated to try to connect because I feel like there probably won’t be anything there anyway. I don’t really connect with anyone in my classes. I guess a lot of people are dealing with this since the pandemic. Thanks again 🙏 Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 I would suggest to use non-dating apps designed specifically for friendship and group social activities. Try Meetup or Internations (if you feel like making friends with some foreigners). These are designed for friendship - and group activities - rather then romantic 1-1 meetups. Much better suited for widening your friendship groups. Apps like meetup you can also target specific meetups for interests you already have so you meet like minded people. Might be a book club or a yoga group or a hiking meetup or just a general socializing group. Obviously there are social distancing and restrictions around meeting people at the moment but these groups still operate just with smaller numbers and keeping to the regulations in your area. Good Luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nope111 Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 OP, maybe you dont need new friends. Maybe what you need is that one good friend in your life that will do anything for you. Thats all anyone needs and they can consider themself a very lucky person. its a old saying i heard a long while back. I have one and shes my best friend ever in life. we will do anything for each other. anything. i think when someone has someone like that in life they dont have to worry about a thing. i dont like a lot of distant friends.....i want one good one i can trust and always rely on. but thats just me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted November 15, 2020 Author Share Posted November 15, 2020 (edited) Good news to update. I am spinning two new friend plates currently. One happens to be my ex’s ex. Don’t ask. The other one is a high school best friend that fell out. I need more, though. Want all the new friends, Edited November 15, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 You have 2. Work on depth, not breadth. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 15, 2020 Share Posted November 15, 2020 Sounds like you're seeking casual acquaintances so enough people will be available to do things with you and to stay entertained and involved. I can appreciate that, I have casual friends that I only share certain interests and activities with, we aren't that involved in each others' broader lives. I only have a small handful of people I truly consider friends that I can count on no matter what the circumstances. Are you mainly seeking entertainment (because you're bored) and so you feel you need a lot of friends so at least one of them will be available almost anytime you want to talk or do something? Are you feeling a need to really connect on a deeper level? Are you kind of starting over and just want to have several friends to choose from in order to see which ones go the distance? Deeper friendships, like romantic relationships, take more time and commitment to sticking through the not so convenient or enjoyable times. Casual friendships can offer a lot of fun and provide someone to go places with, but are limited in depth of care and commitment. I'm sure you know all of that, but it's something to keep in mind on your new quest. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cookiesandough Posted November 28, 2020 Author Share Posted November 28, 2020 (edited) On 11/15/2020 at 1:51 PM, FMW said: Sounds like you're seeking casual acquaintances so enough people will be available to do things with you and to stay entertained and involved. I can appreciate that, I have casual friends that I only share certain interests and activities with, we aren't that involved in each others' broader lives. I only have a small handful of people I truly consider friends that I can count on no matter what the circumstances. Are you mainly seeking entertainment (because you're bored) and so you feel you need a lot of friends so at least one of them will be available almost anytime you want to talk or do something? Are you feeling a need to really connect on a deeper level? Are you kind of starting over and just want to have several friends to choose from in order to see which ones go the distance? Deeper friendships, like romantic relationships, take more time and commitment to sticking through the not so convenient or enjoyable times. Casual friendships can offer a lot of fun and provide someone to go places with, but are limited in depth of care and commitment. I'm sure you know all of that, but it's something to keep in mind on your new quest. Thank you. I have a friend- date possibly coming up with my ex’s ex gf. We planned to meet next Thursday. Hopefully it goes through. Gossip time like a muh fuh. We’ve already come to an agreement: females before male sex organs Edited November 28, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted November 29, 2020 Share Posted November 29, 2020 (edited) On 11/15/2020 at 6:51 PM, FMW said: Sounds like you're seeking casual acquaintances so enough people will be available to do things with you and to stay entertained and involved. I can appreciate that, I have casual friends that I only share certain interests and activities with, we aren't that involved in each others' broader lives. I only have a small handful of people I truly consider friends that I can count on no matter what the circumstances. Are you mainly seeking entertainment (because you're bored) and so you feel you need a lot of friends so at least one of them will be available almost anytime you want to talk or do something? Are you feeling a need to really connect on a deeper level? Are you kind of starting over and just want to have several friends to choose from in order to see which ones go the distance? Deeper friendships, like romantic relationships, take more time and commitment to sticking through the not so convenient or enjoyable times. Casual friendships can offer a lot of fun and provide someone to go places with, but are limited in depth of care and commitment. I'm sure you know all of that, but it's something to keep in mind on your new quest. Great post FMW. I am in the UK and most of us have gone into a 3rd almost full lockdown. For me, as a singleton, with no local family, it is impossible for me to make new friends, other than online (although that has its place, its not real for me, until we meet). I have adapted to a very solitary existence, although I have become more mindful and ultimately self sufficient, BUT I have this feeling of life passing me by, and very little to look forward to.... except the lifting of restrictions! Edited November 29, 2020 by dangerous Link to post Share on other sites
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