Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) Me and my gf of 4 years broke up back in Feb/March - spoke a few times after but ultimately i ended up doing NC from June - Oct. I reached out couple weeks back and had a good convo w her Reached out again Saturday night and in the middle of talking she just ignored my message and never replied? I get she was out w her friend for drinks but a bit weird? Should I give her more space? Edit; we broke up because me and her sister had a small falling out, in Jan, which her dad found out about and she said we can’t take our relationship further now as I’ll never be allowed round again loooool. But in April I spoke to him and her sister and they both accepted my apology and they don’t hold it against me (I have a spotless track record w both) but her words were “they weren’t in a relationship w you, i was and I have deeper emotions” I get if she wasn't interested in talking to me she wouldn't have replied in the first place but in the middle of a conversation just ignoring me???? Edited October 27, 2020 by ynk6 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Perhaps she doesn't feel that she has to take your feelings into consideration any more? But she is right--it's well and good you apologized to the dad and sister, but this girl is the one you had the relationship with, not them, and she didn't like how you stepped to her sister and she's partial to her father, so there's that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 4 minutes ago, kendahke said: Perhaps she doesn't feel that she has to take your feelings into consideration any more? But she is right--it's well and good you apologized to the dad and sister, but this girl is the one you had the relationship with, not them, and she didn't like how you stepped to her sister and she's partial to her father, so there's that. I mean that could be true but then why reply in the first place? she didn't need to reply but a good 6/7 messages in she just disappeared which i thought was weird. And yes, i get the whole deeper emotions thing but our relationship was v v v good (aside from the odd argument) Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, ynk6 said: I get if she wasn't interested in talking to me she wouldn't have replied in the first place but in the middle of a conversation just ignoring me???? You had a text conversation with somebody on a Saturday night while they were out, Obviously she had better things to do then be on her phone. If you are friends you need to expect ebbs & flows in the conversation. You are not longer a priority nor should you be. You are the EX. The fact that she talks to you at all is a miracle. In her shoes I'd be like "why are you bothering me?" 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 6 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: You had a text conversation with somebody on a Saturday night while they were out, Obviously she had better things to do then be on her phone. If you are friends you need to expect ebbs & flows in the conversation. You are not longer a priority nor should you be. You are the EX. The fact that she talks to you at all is a miracle. In her shoes I'd be like "why are you bothering me?" Probably the most logical thing I've read all year, no complaints w that. I know im not a priority but i can tell she loves me due to the fact that she even replies which is great but i was a great boyfriend to her; never cheated or abused or manipulated her, just the odd argument but that's normal. What should i do next? shall i give her space for now? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Just now, ynk6 said: What should i do next? shall i give her space for now? What are you looking for? She knows how to get in touch with you & when she wants Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) The family thing was an excuse. She broke up bc she didn’t have the feels for you. You are sending her messages and she’s being nice, but on her end it’s a bit annoying because she’s moved on Edited October 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 13 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: The family thing was an excuse. She broke up bc she didn’t have the feels for you. You are sending her messages and she’s being nice, but on her end it’s a bit annoying because she’s moved on Oh believe me, she loves me, she's the type of person to never reply back to anyone and we were together 4 years so i have no doubt she loved me. Granted the family thing was an excuse but maybe she was tired of the arguments and i don't blame her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) 22 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: What are you looking for? She knows how to get in touch with you & when she wants I mean i still love her, she's a huge part of me so i am looking to get back together (our relationship was healthy so there's no red flags to consider) Edited October 27, 2020 by ynk6 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 The relationship doesn't have to be bad or abusive for it to be over. She may like you as a person but she may feels she has outgrown you. It's over. It's been over for a while. You were together for 4 years. You bringing up some silly spat from 3 years ago born of a misunderstanding has no bearing on the present reality. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: The relationship doesn't have to be bad or abusive for it to be over. She may like you as a person but she may feels she has outgrown you. It's over. It's been over for a while. You were together for 4 years. You bringing up some silly spat from 3 years ago born of a misunderstanding has no bearing on the present reality. Maybe. Personally i don't think that is it tho, if she had outgrown me, i think i wouldn't even get a reply from her, you can't ougtrow someone you love b Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I think you are in denial. That is my respectful opinion 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 Just now, Shortskirtslonglashes said: I think you are in denial. That is my respectful opinion haha fair, i just think i know her well but your opinions have been registered! I just know many people who have got back together for wayyyy worse breakup reasons Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Drop her. It's over. If she wants to call then take her call, otherwise your healing from her will go much better without contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 7 minutes ago, notbroken said: Drop her. It's over. If she wants to call then take her call, otherwise your healing from her will go much better without contact. can't argue with that. what makes you think its over? Link to post Share on other sites
notbroken Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 23 minutes ago, ynk6 said: can't argue with that. what makes you think its over? The fact she broke up with you, doesn't initiate contact, and barely communicates is a good clue. Your time is better spent with someone that hasn't already broken up with you. You have 'water under the bridge' that won't be forgotten. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 minute ago, notbroken said: The fact she broke up with you, doesn't initiate contact, and barely communicates is a good clue. Your time is better spent with someone that hasn't already broken up with you. You have 'water under the bridge' that won't be forgotten. It was a mutual break up btw, she doesn't initiate contact but she never does even in the past! I mean she does communicate w me, we speak and have casual convos, little flirting and banter but i mean i always thought if it was 'over over' she wouldn't even reply, its been so many months? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Just now, ynk6 said: i always thought if it was 'over over' she wouldn't even reply, its been so many months? She replies because she is polite. When she has nothing else going on, she's happy to text with you. But as you have seen when something more fun comes up, you are not even given a 2nd thought. This is not a woman who wants to reconcile with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: She replies because she is polite. When she has nothing else going on, she's happy to text with you. But as you have seen when something more fun comes up, you are not even given a 2nd thought. This is not a woman who wants to reconcile with you. that makes no sense? she was texting me DURING drinks but at 10pm she disappeared (10pm is when the pubs/bars close in UK due to COVID) so if according to your logic i should have got a reply at 10, not during? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 2 minutes ago, ynk6 said: that makes no sense? she was texting me DURING drinks but at 10pm she disappeared (10pm is when the pubs/bars close in UK due to COVID) so if according to your logic i should have got a reply at 10, not during? Nope. It means she hooked up with somebody & went home with them or just went to sleep. Either way you are not a priority Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: Nope. It means she hooked up with somebody & went home with them or just went to sleep. Either way you are not a priority she didn't, she was with her friend. She is not that type of girl at all. Maybe went to sleep Edited October 27, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 ynk6 I don't know you or your GF. I wasn't there. I don't know why she does anything. Based on the behavior you described I see a woman who was polite enough to respond but I don't see evidence of a desire for reconciliation. If you want to continue to chase & beat this dead horse, have at it. Seems like a waste of time to me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Californiakid66 Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 37 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: ynk6 I don't know you or your GF. I wasn't there. I don't know why she does anything. Based on the behavior you described I see a woman who was polite enough to respond but I don't see evidence of a desire for reconciliation. If you want to continue to chase & beat this dead horse, have at it. Seems like a waste of time to me. Yeah i guess so! what would evidence be, saying "i miss you"? but then someone would have the opinion of 'she's just bread crumbing' you can never win. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Why the long NC? Why did you do that? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 1 hour ago, ynk6 said: Yeah i guess so! what would evidence be, saying "i miss you"? but then someone would have the opinion of 'she's just bread crumbing' you can never win. As you're the one who reached out to her - and she didn't even stay with the conversation till the end - she can't be accused of bread crumbing. There's no evidence behind those words. Just over-analysing. Link to post Share on other sites
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