Your thoughts on your partner being against cohabiting?

[boymommy]

4 hours ago, SincereOnlineGuy said:

 

You're asking too vague a question.   And sadly, answers would vary based on genders in question.

 

It is mostly a non-issue when considered independent of an individual's own past experiences.  And nobody has a data set of enough "past experiences" to be significant.

 

You might as well be saying:    "how do you feel about 'red hair' ?"

I don't think I follow..

Of course answers will vary..that's why I felt it was an interesting question to pose to LS participants. Is it REALLY  a non-issue? Maybe, maybe not? I'm asking a pretty specific question but people are answering based on their past experiences..which is what I expected to happen. It seems that is usually human nature after all. We formulate our own opinions about things based on experiences we have had in the past. 

Soooo..isn't that the whole POINT of the question I am asking? My friend felt he moved in with his gf too soon. He isn't going to make the same mistake going forward. He was curious if women would be put off by this in the future given how prevelant cohabitation is in today's society. I don't see that as a non-issue. If you don't like my question then why bother commenting? Sheesh! 

Edited October 30, 2020 by boymommy

[Happy Lemming]

15 hours ago, boymommy said:

I He was curious if women would be put off by this...

I think there are too many factors to make a generalization about how women would feel.  Some factors to consider are:

(1) Her financial status, would her finances benefit from moving in with a guy?? Would she save 1% - 50% - 75% by living with her boyfriend?

(2) Her religious upbringing, does she feel a man and a woman shouldn't live together before marriage?

(3) Her past experiences... As an example my girlfriend went through a horrid divorce and never wanted to live with a guy ever again.  Unfortunately, the increasing rental prices have forced her to change this stance.

(4) Her age... is this someone who wants to get married and have children or is she past her child bearing years.

(5) Her need for quiet time or being alone... Some people (myself included) enjoy being alone and having a quiet empty house. I can get up when I want, make as much noise as I want, etc.

That being said... I do think that it is a good idea to live together if you and your (significant other) want to get married and have kids.  It will definitely show the cracks in your relationship and what compromises will need to be made.

Personally, I was engaged once in my life (a very very long time ago), we moved in together into my home. And I guess this woman learned enough about me that she decided she didn't want to marry me and left.  At the end of the day, her leaving changed my life and my outlook on marriage, living together, etc.  I am thankful for this discovery. Lesson learned!!