Brattykatt007 Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 My husband and I have always had a pretty good relationship. When I got with him we were both struggling with an addiction, but after the first few years we got clean. He has always promised me a good life. At first he had a great job making $42 an hour with the railroad. We had insurance, a nice little house. Then i started catching him on singles dating sites talking sex talk with young girls. İ was heartbroken but he said he would stop and i believed that. Another few years it happens again. This time he was stopping at the store getting personals. So it caused a big fight i left him and the next couple of days i was back home. To deal with this i went to the doctor for depression, Dr diagnosed me with bipolar disorder gave me meds sent me home. Through all of this out sex life stayed delicious. Then i relapsed, i felt like no matter what I done he was still going on the singles does. Come to find out he had purchased a second phone and was indeed on them (he confessed). My using continued until i went to ft Lauderdale, fl to a rehab. İn the meantime he was drinking excessively. So I'm at rehab and we have visitation low and behold he shows up. Caught a plane and come. Stayed a week and left, we had a magnificent time. He told me he was done cheating AGAIN. So i call him one day and he tells me to stay in Florida he's got a YOUNGER WOMAN. 💔💔💔💔 OH MY GOD. İ was broken. So i stayed in florida continuing my classes Etc. Come to find out he was using AGAIN. So i called his boss and told him he needed help. They put him in a rehab in Austin. On down the road he finished his i finished mine.. well i came home and everything is great. 3 years ago he gets caught stealing from his job. Loses it. so now we are broke no jobs and still sex is going ok. We do it two times a week or so. Now in the last 2 years he went from having a great work ethic, showering everyday, drinking on weekends to not wanting to go to work, either sleeping all the time or drinking, and no sex. He swears that he doesn't have the desire but when he thinks I'm asleep at night i feel him jerking off beside me. He says he has ED but if that were true, would he be doing himself? İ don't really think he's talking to anyone because when would he be doing it? İ have checked his phone many times and there is nothing. İ am miserable there is absolutely no intimacy between us. No hugs kisses or anything. On top of that he swears Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 The history has ruined the marriage. There’s no trust and no respect. i would divorce him.Work work work! Earn enough money so you don’t rely on any man. stat clean and do what you need to do for yourself. Stay clean and help others! Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Why do you keep going back to him? Where is your self respect? End this toxic relationship, life is too short. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 First off you have to understand that you are an addict and that means you are one smoke, pill, drink, or needle away from relapse. Spending time with others or in environments that encourage this behavior means you will be in and out of rehab the rest of your possibly short life. It does not help you to partner with a person who has the same problem. Before you can come to terms with any other life crisis your addiction(s) must be under control. You didn't say if you have a job. If not, you should get the training you need to secure employment that can support you. That's your second priority. Lastly you will have to decide if you want to stay with someone who by their very nature and habits will keep you from doing number one and two. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Focus on your own physical and mental health and sobriety. You seem to have a trauma bond from shared addictions. As long as you stay clean and healthy, you can eventually get divorced. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Calling him lazy is a little like saying the grass is getting dusty from the ash of the raging forest-fire going on beside you. Laziness is a by-product of this terribly toxic and dysfunctional relationship. I think you need to ask yourself if really want this marriage because it sure doesn't sound like he really does. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted October 30, 2020 Share Posted October 30, 2020 Why do you keep going back to him? (And why did you make 2 identical threads?) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Owusy Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 You need to work and stop trying to fix him. Link to post Share on other sites
Owusy Posted October 31, 2020 Share Posted October 31, 2020 Just now, Owusy said: You need to work and stop trying to fix him. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 It sounds like he has some issues. And his love level has gone down for you, that's why the sex has stopped. There are some serious issues here which should be addressed in counseling. Link to post Share on other sites
gamon Posted November 7, 2020 Share Posted November 7, 2020 Next time you feel him jerking off next to you, quickly get up, flip on the light and rip off the blanket. While he's sitting there red handed (or penis handed) scream at him "I thought you said you had ED?!!!" Post back with his response and we'll go from there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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