Wd0694820 Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 1 month more lockdown and I’ve been dating this girl for 3 months now. We’ve already not seen eachother 3 weeks because she was ill and then I had to isolate myself so after lockdown it’ll be 7 weeks!! How do I keep things going all this time when we can’t have sex or go on any dates I’m worried she’ll just get bored of me if we’re not seeing in person and move on or find someone else and then I’ll be alone again Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 I don't see how you can carry on an active dating life under a lockdown unless you two live close to one another. Even then it might just be sneaking around for sex. That's not going to carry a relationship forward and may reduce it to FWB status. I suggest you spend the time deepening the connection through discovery. Peel back the onion that is your current girl friend and see if you can't get a few glimpses of who she really is. I agree that you may lose her. Seven weeks can be an intolerable eternity for some people. Do what you can to influence her so that she will decide you are worth waiting for. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wd0694820 Posted November 1, 2020 Author Share Posted November 1, 2020 1 minute ago, schlumpy said: I don't see how you can carry on an active dating life under a lockdown unless you two live close to one another. Even then it might just be sneaking around for sex. That's not going to carry a relationship forward and may reduce it to FWB status. I suggest you spend the time deepening the connection through discovery. Peel back the onion that is your current girl friend and see if you can't get a few glimpses of who she really is. I agree that you may lose her. Seven weeks can be an intolerable eternity for some people. Do what you can to influence her so that she will decide you are worth waiting for. No we obviously cannot meet eachother, but I’m just saying all we can do is text and phone call, how am I gonna be able to keep her interest up with just these things. Also there’s no gurantee we will even be able to meet or have sex in decemeber when it ends anyway. It feels so frustrating that I have spent so long trying to find someone to date and now I have found a girl who I like so so much but I’m not allowed to see her and may lose her due to all these restrictions Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Visual chat: Facetime, Zoom? or use a different platform like Skype, Discord... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 22 minutes ago, Wd0694820 said: No we obviously cannot meet eachother, but I’m just saying all we can do is text and phone call, how am I gonna be able to keep her interest up with just these things. Also there’s no gurantee we will even be able to meet or have sex in decemeber when it ends anyway. It feels so frustrating that I have spent so long trying to find someone to date and now I have found a girl who I like so so much but I’m not allowed to see her and may lose her due to all these restrictions Is online gaming out-of-bounds? There are many platforms to use. Minecraft would be a good choice but it should be something she can generate an interest in. Playing online chess is an option. Not romantic but it can be intellectually stimulating. Many common board games have been translated to digital. I would suspect there are sites where you two can visit and while away the hours together. Phone calls are important but can become a burden over a period of time. You will have to work at having fresh material to put on the table. Believe it or not getting a funny greeting card in the mail still means something. What are her interests? Have her teach you something about a subject she knows well. You will have to do things that she perceives as you sacrificing time and effort to connect with her. Your only other option is to go up against the lockdown and take your chances. Is there anyway you can swing a multi-week vacation for the two of you out of country to somewhere that is isolated? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wd0694820 Posted November 1, 2020 Author Share Posted November 1, 2020 9 minutes ago, schlumpy said: Is online gaming out-of-bounds? There are many platforms to use. Minecraft would be a good choice but it should be something she can generate an interest in. Playing online chess is an option. Not romantic but it can be intellectually stimulating. Many common board games have been translated to digital. I would suspect there are sites where you two can visit and while away the hours together. Phone calls are important but can become a burden over a period of time. You will have to work at having fresh material to put on the table. Believe it or not getting a funny greeting card in the mail still means something. What are her interests? Have her teach you something about a subject she knows well. You will have to do things that she perceives as you sacrificing time and effort to connect with her. Your only other option is to go up against the lockdown and take your chances. Is there anyway you can swing a multi-week vacation for the two of you out of country to somewhere that is isolated? Hey we are both young 22, so if we lived alone we would probably risk it but unfortunately she lives with her Mum so it would be very selfish of me to see her for sex and put her family at risk as a result of this. I suggested we should have an online film night and have cocktails together over zoom, it’s difficult because we have only just started dating so 7 weeks is nearly as long as the whole time we were seeing eachother for before that! I really like her but I’m just getting anxious now that things won’t work out because of this situation, I know it is maybe seems selfish of me to complain about something like this when people are losing their jobs, businesses or even lives due to covid but I have honestly spent so much time trying to find someone and honestly could not believe my luck when I met her and we get on so we’ll have really good sex which she also enjoys and now I’m just worried all this time apart will her lose interest in me of just think it’s not worth dating me anymore. For me personally I would happily wait however long the lockdown is because I know that it’s worth it for a girl like her but I dunno if she feels the same way Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4me Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 37 minutes ago, Wd0694820 said: Hey we are both young 22, so if we lived alone we would probably risk it but unfortunately she lives with her Mum so it would be very selfish of me to see her for sex and put her family at risk as a result of this. I suggested we should have an online film night and have cocktails together over zoom, it’s difficult because we have only just started dating so 7 weeks is nearly as long as the whole time we were seeing eachother for before that! I really like her but I’m just getting anxious now that things won’t work out because of this situation, I know it is maybe seems selfish of me to complain about something like this when people are losing their jobs, businesses or even lives due to covid but I have honestly spent so much time trying to find someone and honestly could not believe my luck when I met her and we get on so we’ll have really good sex which she also enjoys and now I’m just worried all this time apart will her lose interest in me of just think it’s not worth dating me anymore. For me personally I would happily wait however long the lockdown is because I know that it’s worth it for a girl like her but I dunno if she feels the same way Then talk to her instead of posting on here about it? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 3 hours ago, Wd0694820 said: How do I keep things going all this time when we can’t have sex or go on any dates I’m worried she’ll just get bored of me if we’re not seeing in person and move on or find someone else and then I’ll be alone again Facetime and mutual masturbation with sexy talk. Check out Catherine Bell's masturbation videos for more details. If a celebrity can do it, heh, so can we. No need to be explicit like Cath was, just faces, if you have a lover connection it'll work. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Talking to her over video chat like zoom would help. Listen, you haven't been dating this girl long. If she really likes you, she will stick with you through this and make it work. Lockdowns won't be forever. But you don't know this girl that well. The relationship might not survive this, that's just a fact and you are going to have to deal with that. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Any video chat platform can be helpful. Last night I watched my college team play football (if you can call that loss playing) with a bunch of my friends from school. It was fun. Today I'm having video brunch with another group of women. It's better then nothing. Try having a date where you make the same thing then eat together. Play a board game together. You each have the same game & you move both sets of pieces on each end. Don't forget the power of an actual letter or card that you send through the post. Something tangible goes a long way. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Dude, there is no such thing as "keeping her interest" or keeping things going. What you can do is be creative to find activities that interest YOU that you can invite her to. But hey, this is a great time to really get to know her. You guys should be burning up zoom. The options range from flirting to more down that path ... to sharing stories about your lives, your childhoods, your favorite books, movies, dreams. If we weren't on lockdown, you'd be traveling down this path anyway. Might as well travel down the emotional path of getting to know her. You can always add the physical later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted November 1, 2020 Share Posted November 1, 2020 Just thinking there my own relationship, I think we may be both secretly glad at having the break from dating on the grounds of "absence makes the heart grow fonder"( which is perhaps a bad sign!) good that you are wanting to see each other anyway, I guess its not ideal when your just getting the relationship off the ground, but I wouldnt worry too much, like the others say take the time to have plenty of zoom chats and plan something romantic, a nice trip away for christmas perhaps, anyway its not that easy meet someone else (well maybe it is at 22) shes in lockdown and living with her Mum, id imagine she will hold out for you, but yes make an effort to check in and keep her entertained. Link to post Share on other sites
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