snowboy91 Posted November 5, 2020 Share Posted November 5, 2020 Could be that she thinks that it's the man's job to do all of the chasing. Could be that she's not all that interested. Could be that she's anxious about reaching out, especially if she's inexperienced (think about how nervous you were about your first relationship). Whichever way it goes, I understand you putting in most of the effort may get exhausting after a while. Don't completely write off your own feelings on the matter. Talk to her more directly about it if it's a big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
salparadise Posted November 6, 2020 Share Posted November 6, 2020 Quote She said that she didn't want to get into a relationship because she is afraid to be hurt. She then went on confessing that her family makes her feel worthless. She's inexperienced and unsure of herself. Her family has undermined her sense of worthiness. She's afraid to open her heart, much less to do her share of the pursuing and initiating. Give her a break and take the lead. Don't worry about equal reciprocation for awhile. What she needs is for you to demonstrate to her that she is indeed lovable and desirable. You have the opportunity to make her first sexual relationship a treasured memory... give her what she needs to really believe in herself, and you. This kind of opportunity doesn't knock every day, and the window will close if you're slow to respond. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 6, 2020 Share Posted November 6, 2020 Agree stop treating her like a hookup and just another notch in the bedpost. Man up and take responsibility. You're bragging about how she was a virgin before you,etc. That's being a highschool boy, not a man. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 6, 2020 Author Share Posted November 6, 2020 21 hours ago, salparadise said: She's inexperienced and unsure of herself. Her family has undermined her sense of worthiness. She's afraid to open her heart, much less to do her share of the pursuing and initiating. Give her a break and take the lead. Don't worry about equal reciprocation for awhile. What she needs is for you to demonstrate to her that she is indeed lovable and desirable. You have the opportunity to make her first sexual relationship a treasured memory... give her what she needs to really believe in herself, and you. This kind of opportunity doesn't knock every day, and the window will close if you're slow to respond. 11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Agree stop treating her like a hookup and just another notch in the bedpost. Man up and take responsibility. You're bragging about how she was a virgin before you,etc. That's being a highschool boy, not a man. On 11/5/2020 at 1:23 PM, snowboy91 said: Could be that she thinks that it's the man's job to do all of the chasing. Could be that she's not all that interested. Could be that she's anxious about reaching out, especially if she's inexperienced (think about how nervous you were about your first relationship). Whichever way it goes, I understand you putting in most of the effort may get exhausting after a while. Don't completely write off your own feelings on the matter. Talk to her more directly about it if it's a big deal. thank you guys for your input, yea I started calling her. I was afraid it would be unwelcome. but we both seem to enjoy talking on the phone :). we actually spoke on the phone three times this week. she wasn't able to hang out this weekend said she was feeling sick. I told her to just get back to me, to let me know when she is free. so we will see if she reaches out for that :). im learning as I go as well. im trying to improve how I deal with relationships. i really do like her though! I guess im afraid to be hurt as well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 On 11/6/2020 at 1:39 PM, hokage240sx said: thank you guys for your input, yea I started calling her. I was afraid it would be unwelcome. but we both seem to enjoy talking on the phone :). we actually spoke on the phone three times this week. she wasn't able to hang out this weekend said she was feeling sick. I told her to just get back to me, to let me know when she is free. so we will see if she reaches out for that :). im learning as I go as well. im trying to improve how I deal with relationships. i really do like her though! I guess im afraid to be hurt as well. @Wiseman2 @salparadise well its Monday now and she never reached out to set up another date. I guess silence is an answer. im feeling pretty depressed. I wonder if im worrying too early. but we haven't spoke since Friday and I told her that I would be waiting for her to contact me to tell me when she was free. she told me she wasn't feeling good on Friday because she got her period that day and it was really heavy. --I have plenty of things to keep me busy, but this does bother me :,/. Link to post Share on other sites
Author hokage240sx Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 I decided to just call, thank you guys 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 10 hours ago, hokage240sx said: I decided to just call, thank you guys Excellent 👍. Just take the lead in this case. Link to post Share on other sites
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