How am I supposed to take this?

[Happy Lemming]

16 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

Unless you're older/more mature and have been together for many years, it's a terrible idea to co-sign on a mortgage with someone you're not married to. 

 

I imagine they could draw up an "Articles of Partnership" (both names on deed and mortgage) then they would be business partners investing in a home/asset.  Within the "Articles of Partnership" everything is spelled out as to the use of the asset, disposition of the asset and parameters for dissolving the partnership, if need be.

 

[d0nnivain]

I'm not against house buying, just not together.   Now may not be the best time to buy.  The market is high because of the pandemic.  

Still @mariemarsh99  talk to your guy about how you are feeling.  Offer a path forward.  

[elaine567]

He has made it clear by looking to buy a house on his own, that you are not in his thoughts as regarding marriage or long term commitment.
He sees no future with you.
This relationship is going nowhere, wrap it up, before he does.
 

[stillafool]

22 hours ago, mariemarsh99 said:

My boyfriend & I have been dating almost 4 years & have rented a house together for 2. Our landlord has decided to sell our house when our lease is up. My boyfriend has been discussing buying a house, but has always said he didn’t want to buy a house when we weren’t married. Now that we know we have to move, he is looking at houses to buy.. Where does this leave me? He wants me to live with him but I’m just not big on the idea of moving from our rental where my name is on the lease & we both pay half, to moving into his house that only his name is on & nothing is mine anymore. How would you feel about this? Any advice or am I crazy for caring? 

What did you bf say when you told him this?

[Ruby Slippers]

42 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

I imagine they could draw up an "Articles of Partnership" (both names on deed and mortgage) then they would be business partners investing in a home/asset. 

It would be very stupid for a 21-year-old woman to draw up such an agreement with a 22-year-old man. Unless she has no interest in marriage (highly unlikely), this would be a very bad idea.

[Happy Lemming]

38 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

It would be very stupid for a 21-year-old woman to draw up such an agreement with a 22-year-old man. Unless she has no interest in marriage (highly unlikely), this would be a very bad idea.

Oh, I agree its a bad idea, but some people make poor decisions when they think they are in love.

If he has no interest in marriage and she wants to still do this (signing a mortgage/deed on a home), at least an "Articles of Partnership" would protect her financial interest.  She'd have some form of recourse and ability to get out (without losing ALL of the money she put in) when this all falls apart. 

If she is not on the mortgage/deed, she should insist on some form of lease, then she'd have some rights as a tenant.

It's not too early for him to invest in real estate, as I was also 22 when I purchased my first fixer-upper home, but both are too young to get married (in my opinion).

 

[Ruby Slippers]

6 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said:

If she is not on the mortgage/deed, she should insist on some form of lease, then she'd have some rights as a tenant.

It's not too early for him to invest in real estate, as I was also 22 when I purchased my first fixer-upper home, but both are too young to get married (in my opinion).

I agree. If she moves into his house, she would be a tenant and should have a written lease agreement in case of any issues.

I also agree that if one can afford it, it's a great idea to buy young instead of throwing more money in the wind on rent.

[Wiseman2]

3 hours ago, MrPlop said:

As in mortgage I meant purchase agreement / ownership. It could be an investment and worse case scenario they'll be forced to sell and split the gains if they're not upside down.

A mortgage is a debt instrument, secured by the collateral of specified real estate property, that the borrower is obliged to pay back with a predetermined set of payments. Deed is ownership. Mortgage is debt.

For example say he kicks her out and she's on the mortgage, not the deed. She'll have  to pay it until all sorts of headaches are resolved with the bank. Also it could adversely affect her credit if he defaults and she doesn't pony up all the money for a month or a while. It's a nightmare no 21 unmarried gf should even consider.

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, Caauug said:

Maybe not....

A number of years ago a co-worker came to me one night shift, he was upset his land lord had given him notice to move. The Land Lord had listed for sale, the unit my co-worker was renting. I asked how much was it listed for? He didn't know..... I asked how much would his bank lend him? He didn't know.... I told him to find out those two answers and come tell me good news tomorrow. He talked to his land lord, then his bank and had an offer in for the unit by the time I met him the next night. His repayments for the mortgage were less than his rent was. He never had to move. Sometimes major decisions can be simple. 

That is great but that's not really what we are talking about.  You can't compare this with the OP's situation.  There is no scenario where it would be a good idea for a 21 year old woman to buy/co-sign for a house  with a guy she is not married to.

[MrPlop]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

A mortgage is a debt instrument, secured by the collateral of specified real estate property, that the borrower is obliged to pay back with a predetermined set of payments. Deed is ownership. Mortgage is debt.

For example say he kicks her out and she's on the mortgage, not the deed. She'll have  to pay it until all sorts of headaches are resolved with the bank. Also it could adversely affect her credit if he defaults and she doesn't pony up all the money for a month or a while. It's a nightmare no 21 unmarried gf should even consider.

I know what a mortgage is and I said I expressed myself wrong.

[Watercolors]

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

A mortgage is a debt instrument, secured by the collateral of specified real estate property, that the borrower is obliged to pay back with a predetermined set of payments. Deed is ownership. Mortgage is debt.

For example say he kicks her out and she's on the mortgage, not the deed. She'll have  to pay it until all sorts of headaches are resolved with the bank. Also it could adversely affect her credit if he defaults and she doesn't pony up all the money for a month or a while. It's a nightmare no 21 unmarried gf should even consider.

+1. OP, just don't do it.