I feel like I am going to snap but am I overreacting?

[ironpony]

I've been trying to get into the career I want, filmmaking by trying to make a feature film over the last few years, but I feel like things keep getting in the way of it, such as needing more money, more people to work with, from different places, etc.  And my family has been trying to stop me as well as a couple of friends thinking I am crazy for risking such a risky business venture, but I don't know what else I want to do with the career I want to get into.

Plus my parents tried to sieze control of my money to try to stop me, which I talked about on here some time ago, and that was a lot of drama to deal with.  And when it seems that everything is working against me, I now have to wait for covid-19 to be over.  I mean I am already 36 now, and I still haven't gotten into the career I want, and I feel like it's driving me crazy, like fate is trying to stop me anyway which way it can.

I feel like I am going to snap, but is that understandable at this point or am I overreacting?  I talked about this to a friend of mine and he says I need a vacation and I should take a trip somewhere and relax.  But after having done nothing for work for months now, because of covid putting my last job out of business, before the current job I just got a couple of months ago,  I am really not up for a vacation.  But he says I need a vacation, and just take it anyway, even though you have only been back to work for two months after months off.

What do you think? Am I overreacting, or is this understandable?

[Happy Lemming]

Have you thought about making a short film (during your days off from work) and putting it up on youtube??  Gauge the response, views, comments, etc.

Before investing a HUGE amount of money making a film, cut your teeth on a short video. 

You can't do anything about Covid-19.  Plenty of feature film releases have been delayed because of the pandemic.

 

[ironpony]

Oh well I haven' been able to make anything during my days off work because of covid though.  I've made some short films before.  The feedback was mostly that the acting and cinematography were not every good, but that's because I've been saving the money for much bettter actors and a much better DP that would cost more of course.

[Happy Lemming]

I'm certainly not one to "crush" someone's dreams, but at 36 I think the time has come to invest in retirement savings (IRA & 401-K), not be making films.

You tried to make a couple of short films, if the idea/plot was good... someone would have taken note and looked past the bad actors and poor cinematography. 

Sometimes in life dreams are not realized and we have to settle for being average or mediocre.

 

[ironpony]

Oh okay, I was told the opposite and they said that the plots were good, they just couldn't be brought out because of the acting.  But I think at 36 I need to follow something I like before concentrating soley on retirement savings.  I feel like I should get started on what I want to, hopefully when covid passes, but why is 36 too old?

I feel I can settle for something different if it was not meant to be but I feel I have to try first or I will regret never trying.  But the frustrating thing is, I feel outside forces are trying to stop me from trying.

Edited November 6, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

4 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Oh okay, I was told the opposite and they said that the plots were good, they just couldn't be brought out because of the acting. 

If your ideas and plot were great, someone would have noticed and hired you or funded a remake of your film. 

7 minutes ago, ironpony said:

...but why is 36 too old?

Based on the fact you are driving your own vehicle as a vocation, I'm making the assumption that you are not pulling down a 6 figure income, thus it will take you that much longer to save up enough money in a IRA or 401-K plan to retire some day.

If you have some extra savings (right now), I might think about purchasing a "winter beater" car, then you can park your good car for the snow/ice driving.  You'll stay gainfully employed through the winter. Hopefully by Spring, the Covid-19 pandemic will be drawing to a close.

 

[ironpony]

Oh okay.  The car was not concern for the job, just my safety on the icy road conditions were.  I was worried about my safety a lot more than a car, if that is what you mean?  What does parking my car right now, in favor of another car have to do with this?

As for the ideas being great, in the filmmaking community the acting gets noticed a lot, and people view that as a problem over story to a degree.

Edited November 6, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

Just now, ironpony said:

Oh okay.  The car was not concern for the job, just my safety on the icy road conditions were.  I was worried about my safety a lot more than a car, if that is what you mean?

Yes... I was thinking about a big old car, like an old Ford Crown Victoria or larger (heavy and safer).  I was also thinking about protecting the value of your current car, as well.

Years ago, I used an old pickup as my "winter beater" vs. my sub-compact sports car.  A lot more metal in that old pickup, it also had real bumpers and not plastic excuses for bumpers.

There comes a point in life when we have to start making the hard decisions about old age and be practical about our "lot in life". 

You made your short films, nobody picked them up or some so unique potential in them.  You were brushed you off with some BS about actors and cinematography.  

Let me ask you a question, how much would it cost to produce the film with the actors you want and the cameras/equipment you desire??  And how much is a small conservative home??

[ironpony]

Well I was trying to budget on a microbudget movie for about 150K.  Why?  A small home, I guess would be 300K nowadays, where I live.

But what good does buying a new car do, I understand what you are getting at?  Is my car not good enough for the winter or what does this have to do with anything?

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

Well I was trying to budget on a microbudget movie for about 150K.  Why?  A small home, I guess would be 300K nowadays, where I live. (1)

But what good does buying a new car do, I understand what you are getting at?  Is my car not good enough for the winter or what does this have to do with anything? (2)

(1) So you could own half a home and have it paid off in 5-10 years (an asset that will go up in value) or you could roll the dice on a highly speculative movie with an unproven script.  I'd vote for the house, so you would have a roof over your head.

(2) Not a new car... a used $1,000 "hooptie" car that you won't be upset if you end up in a ditch or have a fender-bender with it or the salt damages the paint, etc.  If memory serves, winters can be really tough on vehicles.

I have no idea what you presently drive, is it a large safe vehicle good for snow driving??  Is it valued over $5K?? 

[ironpony]

Oh okay, yeah I am not sure what to do about the more I keep not doing it, the more I regret it and I don't want to live with regret for the rest of my life, wondering what would have happened.

As for a car for winter, why do I need a second car.  I know you mean a hooptie, but why do I need one?  I think my current car can survive a ditch, can't it?

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

 I think my current car can survive a ditch, can't it?

Again... I have no idea if you are driving a Smart Car or Hummer H2?? 

What is the approximate blue book value of your vehicle??

4 minutes ago, ironpony said:

Oh okay, yeah I am not sure what to do about the more I keep not doing it, the more I regret it and I don't want to live with regret for the rest of my life, wondering what would have happened.

Did someone tell you that you would be a GREAT film maker some day??  Did some executive at a movie studio tell you that you are the next M. Night Shyamalan??

$150K is a HUGE amount of money (1/2 of a house) and you want to invest that into an untested film that could flop. And the reason for this is so you don't have some regret the rest of your life??  Seems like a high price to pay...

[ironpony]

I am not sure what the blue book value of my vehicle is, but I could answer your questions about this car scenario better, if I knew why you were suggesting I buy a new car.  What does it have to do with anything?  Where did this car stuff come from, since we are talking about a difference subject I thought, if that makes sense?

Edited November 6, 2020 by ironpony

[MsJayne]

Don't let people squash your dreams, but also don't go blowing your hard-earned on something which could fail spectacularly. As someone said above, you can use YouTube to make pilots and gauge audience receptiveness without spending a heap of cash, and if you have talent someone will see it. 

[Happy Lemming]

3 minutes ago, ironpony said:

 Where did this car stuff come from, since we are talking about a difference subject I thought, if that makes sense?

It was the main subject of your other thread regarding winter driving and your present job, which ties into your ability to earn income over the next 6 months or so.

Without income there is no movie, no vacation/trip, nothing.

8 minutes ago, ironpony said:

 What does it have to do with anything? 

I was trying to determine if you will lose significant value in an expensive vehicle, if it was involved in a wreck?? 

Would it make financial sense to have a "hooptie" car as a backup??  It may not... 

I base a lot of my decisions on the "numbers" and the potential loss of value.

[ironpony]

Oh okay, but I feel that done short films before and I've reached a point where I need to move onto the next step.  Is that bad to want to move into the next step?  I mean every filmmaker who has had success still had to make a feature film to get it, it seems.

[ironpony]

1 minute ago, Happy Lemming said:

It was the main subject of your other thread regarding winter driving and your present job, which ties into your ability to earn income over the next 6 months or so.

Without income there is no movie, no vacation/trip, nothing.

I was trying to determine if you will lose significant value in an expensive vehicle, if it was involved in a wreck?? 

Would it make financial sense to have a "hooptie" car as a backup??  It may not... 

I base a lot of my decisions on the "numbers" and the potential loss of value.

Oh my concern was my safety, not the vehicle so much, but my mortal safety.  So I thought that a hooptie, would be just as risky to drive in on icy highways, compared to a more expensive car, wouldn't it be?

[Happy Lemming]

14 minutes ago, ironpony said:

I am not sure what the blue book value of my vehicle is

Is there a kbb.com in Canada??  That will give you the approximate blue book value of the vehicle.

[ironpony]

I tried the kkb.com but all it does is list cars I want to buy that are similar to my specs.  It doesn't give a value price.

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

Oh my concern was my safety, not the vehicle so much, but my mortal safety.  So I thought that a hooptie, would be just as risky to drive in on icy highways, compared to a more expensive car, wouldn't it be?

Again... are you driving a sub-compact or a full size SUV?? 

If you aren't worrying about the value of your present car and its a larger tough vehicle that can protect you in a crash, then the point is moot.

I was just spit-balling some possible ideas to help you get through the winter, keep your present job and continue to earn income.

[ironpony]

Oh okay thanks.  I was just worried about my own mortal safety in the job, since icy highways scare me, especially after a couple of close calls int he past.  I was actually thinking of declining the new position in the company because of it.

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

I tried the kkb.com but all it does is list cars I want to buy that are similar to my specs.  It doesn't give a value price.

Maybe it works differently in Canada.  I use it in the US and you can obtain a private party value and a trade-in value.

I know nothing about Canadian vehicle pricing/values.

[Happy Lemming]

1 minute ago, ironpony said:

...since icy highways scare me, especially after a couple of close calls int he past.  I was actually thinking of declining the new position in the company because of it.

I completely understand and agree with you...  Again, I hate everything about snow/ice/cold weather.  I wouldn't want to drive in it... all day... every day... for a vocation.

Have you started applying for other jobs?? Sent out any resumes'??

[ironpony]

Well not yet because I am still working the current job in the company.  They keep extending my time there, so I am not sure when it will be up, so I haven't started applying at other places yet.  But should I, even if I don't know when my time is up yet?  They said they are not sure, because of some surprise business boomings at the moment.  They said they may be able to extend me another month so far, so should I do that?  I already told them I will stay on if they have more.

Edited November 6, 2020 by ironpony

[Happy Lemming]

When does it start snowing in Canada??  (in your city)

I imagine it is soon, so yes... if you don't want to forced into driving in the snow, then start looking for something else.