Betrayed, Rebuilding and Self-Sabotage.

[MrsDT]

Have you been here??

So...

My husband cheated on me, I chose to stay and work through it. We have a family and there are far more reasons to try.

He has made every effort required of him, is being better than I ever expected but inside of me is where the struggle is too real.

I can't switch off. I constantly see her, the pics that he shared with her that she sent to me.. lovely.

When I sleep I dream, so vividly and about all of my concerns and worries.. even better, I remember them all too!

At the moment it is such a struggle to get through the day, my emotions are all over, I'm up then at rock bottom, anywhere and everywhere inbetween and it just does not stop!

If you've been through this and have any tips then please share!

If you're also going through this and want to connect then please do!

I look forward to hearing from you peeps.

[elaine567]

PTSD.
Seek help from a therapist.

[Harry Korsnes]

You need therapy  to sort your feelings eaven time for your self. This takes time. 

Best of luck no matter how it Ends.

[schlumpy]

Patience must be your watch word.

It takes a long time to get over infidelity. If you were separated then perhaps the feelings would die out quicker but since you see him every day it's a struggle.

To be honest you will never stop seeing those pictures no matter how much sacrifice he makes. The emotional hurt will fade but not the pictures. That is something you will come to terms with.

You have granted him the hope of reconciliation but It's up to him to fix the marriage. 

[Harry Korsnes]

1 hour ago, schlumpy said:

Patience must be your watch word.

It takes a long time to get over infidelity. If you were separated then perhaps the feelings would die out quicker but since you see him every day it's a struggle.

To be honest you will never stop seeing those pictures no matter how much sacrifice he makes. The emotional hurt will fade but not the pictures. That is something you will come to terms with.

You have granted him the hope of reconciliation but It's up to him to fix the marriage. 

Like i Said she needs time alone to saughrt her feelings.  

Dont think its how much he works, it's up to her and how much she can healing.

[Milly May June]

Hi and sorry for the pain you are going through. How long since you found out? The first months are very very hard. Its a roller coster! It gets better with time and a remorseful husband who does the hard work but it will always be a part of your story. The triggers are awful. Even they lessen in time but are annoying since they appear out of nowhere. 

Are you in IC? Do you have family and friends that can support you? 

This OW seems awful... Sending you pictures.. I mean really? What kind of person does that? 

Hugs! 

[MrsDT]

14 minutes ago, Milly May June said:

Hi and sorry for the pain you are going through. How long since you found out? The first months are very very hard. Its a roller coster! It gets better with time and a remorseful husband who does the hard work but it will always be a part of your story. The triggers are awful. Even they lessen in time but are annoying since they appear out of nowhere. 

Are you in IC? Do you have family and friends that can support you? 

This OW seems awful... Sending you pictures.. I mean really? What kind of person does that? 

Hugs! 

Thank you so much for your reply.

Found out around 2 months ago, it was a month long and they never actually met in person, it was all online, via calls and video calls etc. He ended it and completely blocked her then a week later seems she bitterly messaged 'the wife'.

Sorry what is IC? I do have some friends and family who know and are supportive, some I can't tell for judgement I don't need right now.

We've had therapy together and I've had therapy alone. He really is trying so hard for us. 

[mark clemson]

1 hour ago, MrsDT said:

Sorry what is IC?

Individual counseling. It's good that he is trying and that you are in both kinds of therapy. Success is not guaranteed from what I understand on either side (your ability to deal with the situation OR his ability to continue to be supportive and of course faithful).