Relationship ambiguity: She has an important 'man friend' in her life

[QuietRiot]

Was getting to know this long time single lady, is a mutual friend of someone I know. She told me she's been single for a rather long time, but has this important "man friend" in her life, not an actual relationship.... and considering they put both of their kids first...it works.

It is interesting how there's more ambiguity in the nature of these relationships. I heard a co-worker talking a woman he had been seeing, and when she was pressing for their nature of their relationship, he says, "I don't like labels". Some dont' even want to call "it" ...anything...(yet?)

Or I knew of someone that said that if she never got married, she would have moved in with her "Platonic (male ) life partner"

Call me old-fashioned, but I"m seeing more and more labels (or non-labeling) or certain TYPES of relationships. I think people are adding too many shades of grey to it all, yes?

Edited November 7, 2020 by QuietRiot

[Uruktopi]

Agree with you.

I´m not really worried about conventions and marbles. But yes about how this naturalize while hide a kind of "myasscentric system of the world" (in a Ptolemaic sense). 

It also and mainly put ambiguity about the criteria that makes couples be something about two and not merely for the sake of each individual "self". 

Sad, poor thing.

[lana-banana]

I don't know. Why do you think the labels matter so much? Sometimes labels don't fully describe the depth of relationships. I have friends who feel closer to me than my actual blood relatives. If anything more nuance is better.

[Wiseman2]

Languages evolve continuously to reflect the need to describe things more succinctly.

Since the landscape of types of relationships is also continually changing new phrases attempt to describe these new dynamics.

These new phases to describe these new dynamics also reflect changing social norms and accepted situations

Some terms are new but recycled concepts such as "seeing", "going steady", etc.

Probably there have been these situations all along eg fwb, hooking up, etc. but people were loathe to admit no less define them.

[elaine567]

4 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Probably there have been these situations all along eg fwb, hooking up, etc. but people were loathe to admit no less define them.

I agree. All kept a big secret, to avoid judgement.

[basil67]

Why is this a problem for you Quiet Riot?  

[Lotsgoingon]

There are lots of relationships out there where people get together every so often ... have some romance, might even sleep together ... but they aren't involved in a serious day-to-day way in each other's lives. Happens all the time.

Sometimes both partners just don't have the energy for anything deep. Or they're raising families on their own. This has happened throughout the eternity and there's nothing new or different about it. I know lots of divorced people with kids and jobs who have these low-commitment relationships. They're not fwb's necessarily, but definitely low commitment and yet the occasional meetings feel safe.

Sometimes people just stumble into someone they're attracted to ... and yet, they realize there's not enough common interest or values to create a serious relationship, so they do this "lighter" thing.