Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 I really can’t stop crying I bet this betrayal I experienced tonight. Night started off fine. We went with my teenage son to an area where they had a dj...then we went to a different area...fine. But he kept talking to unattractive women in front of me. Then said I’m bugn that’s his friend. My ass. Then he wants to hang with his boys tells me to take my son home. All his loser ass friends saying same s*** even one who asked him to buy him a bottle of liquor but didn’t pay him a dime!! Yet I’m a single mom not only do I but my own but I loaned him some money until payday!! Then end of night I see him go up to his friends house and I call him bc he ditched us and he says he got Locked up because of me...lie. I saw him go up to his friends ! Then he’s talking to ugly women all night and dancing. I don’t get how he ignores a pretty woman who is crazy about him but will talk to any chick who will give him attention. We were supposed to work out Monday I left my workout clothes but I’m not even going to bother Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 Wait, who is this man? You have referred to this as a friendship, so I gather he is not your boyfriend. If that's the case, you need to distance yourself from him. He's making it clear he doesn't have the same interest in you that you do in him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 Well he was a close friend of mine but he knows I love him. Clearly he doesn’t care. Him and his friends aggressively told me to leave. I had to pay for my own cab for me and my son and I loaned that loser 30 dollars so now I’m almost broke. He didn’t even make sure we got home. I need to stay away. He keeps proving he doesn’t care.even his friend who is selfish and cheap and continues to take advantage he cares about. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 Ashleygirl you are not in love. You are addicted and like all addicts are making bad decisions while in withdrawal. Does party boy pay you back? Will your son have to do without? You chose party boy over your son? Treat your love addiction as a disease. The cure is no contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 Where is the kids father? How is the child support and visitation situation. Stop lending "friends" money. Spend your money on a better life for you and your family, not trying to buy "friends" or BFs. Stop chasing uninterested men. If you are ready to date, get your money back and get a good profile and pics on quality (paid) dating apps and start talking to and meeting available interested men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 39 minutes ago, schlumpy said: Ashleygirl you are not in love. You are addicted and like all addicts are making bad decisions while in withdrawal. Does party boy pay you back? Will your son have to do without? You chose party boy over your son? Treat your love addiction as a disease. The cure is no contact. Guess I was confusing someone caring vs someone just wanting to inflate their ego. Yes he did include me in holidays etc so that’s why I thought he cared. It’s all for his own benefit nothing to do with caring about me Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 38 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Where is the kids father? How is the child support and visitation situation. Stop lending "friends" money. Spend your money on a better life for you and your family, not trying to buy "friends" or BFs. Stop chasing uninterested men. If you are ready to date, get your money back and get a good profile and pics on quality (paid) dating apps and start talking to and meeting available interested men. He won’t get another dime from me. He is no friend of mine. Me and my sons dad have shared custody. I’m wasting my time hanging out with this bozo who doesn’t care about me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 2 hours ago, schlumpy said: Ashleygirl you are not in love. You are addicted and like all addicts are making bad decisions while in withdrawal. Does party boy pay you back? Will your son have to do without? You chose party boy over your son? Treat your love addiction as a disease. The cure is no contact. He will pay me back Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 It was a painful lesson, that is for sure. You may love him but he doesn't return your romantic interest. Be done with him for your own sake. Hopefully you get your $30 back but don't count on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 Thanks. I’ve tried and tried to be friends but it isn’t going to work. Maybe one day when I’ve moved on and don’t care anymore..but not now Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 4 minutes ago, Ashleygirl said: I’ve tried and tried to be friends but it isn’t going to work. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 Just now, ExpatInItaly said: Why? Because I like him as more and he doesn’t Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 5 minutes ago, Ashleygirl said: Because I like him as more and he doesn’t That's your cue to stop trying to be friends. When someone doesn't have romantic feelings for you, continuing to try to make a friendship happen is going to get you nowhere. You need to cut all ties. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 8, 2020 Author Share Posted November 8, 2020 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: That's your cue to stop trying to be friends. When someone doesn't have romantic feelings for you, continuing to try to make a friendship happen is going to get you nowhere. You need to cut all ties. I know..I’m just feeling hurt because I really do care about him and his family. I always spent the holidays with them so it hurts. My family is far away so they took me in as part of the family. Not worth my sanity Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 Why would you spend the holidays and hang around a guy who doesn't feel the same way about you. From what you've written it sounds like any of his friends could be invited for the holidays, not just you. If you family lives far away makes plans to visit them during the holidays. Save up for it. Find your own circle of friends that doesn't include him. You cannot make someone love you. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted November 8, 2020 Share Posted November 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Ashleygirl said: I know..I’m just feeling hurt because I really do care about him and his family. I always spent the holidays with them so it hurts. My family is far away so they took me in as part of the family. Not worth my sanity I sympathize, as I live abroad and don't have my family around either. However, that is not a good reason to attach yourself this much to a man who doesn't share your feelings. Yes, it hurts, but you need to take some accountably for not making good choices about your continued interactions with him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 I see where you are coming from. No one needs to be treated like crap or disrespected. We are only getting one side of the story tho. My guess is that your jealousy shows and that has become the tipping point for him. I don't really know the dynamic of your friendship, but this seems unhealthy for you or your son being around these people. Being lonely, and liking this guy has made you lose sight of what is really going on...until last night. It's all crashing down. Letting go is hard, and it takes time to adjust, but there must be more positive, nicer people to be friends with than this group. Stop accepting invites, lay low, and find other things to do. There must be a single moms group on FB you could join and develop some friendships there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 9, 2020 Share Posted November 9, 2020 On 11/8/2020 at 7:51 AM, Ashleygirl said: he knows I love him. Clearly he doesn’t care. Then end it. He doesn't love you and he doesn't care. Tears and being weak reduces his respect for you. This guy ain't that guy and you need to quit wasting your youth--which you can never get back--behind this clown. And stop loaning him money. Let his "friend" give a grown man her money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 18 hours ago, kendahke said: Then end it. He doesn't love you and he doesn't care. Tears and being weak reduces his respect for you. This guy ain't that guy and you need to quit wasting your youth--which you can never get back--behind this clown. And stop loaning him money. Let his "friend" give a grown man her money. I did embarrass myself because I was being so persistent and aggressive. But he made plans with me, and he ditched me and it’s not the first time. Never again. I am going to keep it moving. I have a lot going for me and I don’t care how great he thinks he is, he doesn’t deserve me in any capacity. Now I see why he is single Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ashleygirl Posted November 10, 2020 Author Share Posted November 10, 2020 On 11/8/2020 at 12:48 PM, ExpatInItaly said: I sympathize, as I live abroad and don't have my family around either. However, that is not a good reason to attach yourself this much to a man who doesn't share your feelings. Yes, it hurts, but you need to take some accountably for not making good choices about your continued interactions with him. It’s really not good. Although we’re not dating and just friends, his actions in the last few months have given me mixed signals. It feels like he does this to his friends for his ego, and he rejects them (and me) as anything more and makes dumb excuses. He brags about female friends saying I love you all the time, hugging and kissing him and would come up with a dumb reason why he never dated her...I mean if you are really into someone, you wouldn’t have excuses. In any case, I take responsibility for making a dumb choice, but I’m not going to give him what he wants. I may have acted irrationally, but he chose to entertain a bunch of crappy friends over our safety. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted November 10, 2020 Share Posted November 10, 2020 4 hours ago, Ashleygirl said: and it’s not the first time There's a saying: "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." Glad to hear you're done being a volunteer. Link to post Share on other sites
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