My friend of 2 years who used to live with me just left without saying anything

[AnalogueAnimal]

I've known a friend for more than 2 years who used to be my housemate. She moved out later but we always kept in touch. We used to meet often to have drinks and talk about what's going on in each other's lives. She even called me her best friend and I guess she didn't have much friends other than me. Things started to change after she got in a relationship. She started to being flaky and would cancel plans a lot. It seems like I'm not her priority and she makes plans with others even after promising to hang out. Every time she cancels, its either " Sorry I double booked and made plans with someone else or I'm busy".  She would apologize, ask me to hangout again and cancel at the last moment. It seemed like she always canceled when she got dates from her bf or other friends. It felt like I was always the backup. She also did something similar to her ex housemate and felt she did nothing wrong. The last straw when was when she invited me and my close friend (we both are immigrants) to celebrate Christmas with her family and decided to cancel. Turns out, she went on a vacation. It hurt a lot and I decided to take a break from this.

I told her it hurt me and stopped communicating with her. Then I realized whether she was even my friend. The only thing we did was meet at her house or my place, eat and drink. I remember telling her it would be nice to do something else other than drinking.

After a period of no contact, she started talking again and we hung out a couple of times. Then, she said she was looking for a room. She told me she wanted to move to an apartment with her bf but he didn’t want to live with her. There was a vacant room in the house I stay and she decided to move. After she moved in, we never really spent time together as I've got a busy life. Whenever she was home, she never really initiated contact. We'd only talk if we ran into one another. She rarely stayed home. Couple of days ago, she moved out with her boyfriend and didn't even say goodbye or anything. The week before she moved out, I had dinner with her to catch up. The day before she moved out, she asked me to hang out but like always, that didn't happen. The next day, she was gone with her boyfriend.

I don't know whether to ask her or tell her that she hurt me. I start to wonder if we were ever friends to begin with. I just feel blank.

[Negotaurus]

She simply sounds like a user. Save yourself the trouble and remove her from your life. She has been acting incredibly rude and selfish, you don't need people like that to poison your mind. 

[Wiseman2]

She's just an aquaintence and former roommate. 

She's not a best friend and flaky at best.

Don't bother telling her you're " hurt", because you did that to yourself knowing how unreliable she is, yet clinging to the fading friendship.

Distance yourself and make better friends. Relegate people like this to the aquaintence zone.

[AnalogueAnimal]

On 11/10/2020 at 8:58 PM, Wiseman2 said:

She's just an aquaintence and former roommate. 

She's not a best friend and flaky at best.

Don't bother telling her you're " hurt", because you did that to yourself knowing how unreliable she is, yet clinging to the fading friendship.

Distance yourself and make better friends. Relegate people like this to the aquaintence zone.

She did send a message today saying she left the house, after a week.  You're right, I thought she was a friend and didn't want to let go of the friendship easily. I wanted to ask why she never told me but I think I'll let it go.

[ShyViolet]

At least now you know for sure that she is not your friend.  Whether she ever cared about you, you'll probably never know, but you do know that she doesn't care about you now.  So just put this "friendship" in the past and forget her.