Was I mistaken about my ex

[Lozza79]

Wonder if anyone relates to this. Me (40M) and (35F) had a good 4 year relationship between 2012 and 2016 then we broke up as she was just not ready to commit. So I suffered to get over her but I eventually did and moved on. 2 years after in 2018 I thought I'd close the circle and reach out to her by sending her a birthday message. So we started massaging and I had a good feel factor that we could become good friends. We decided to meet for a coffee, but to my suprise she broke down and told me she regretted breaking up with me and that she still loved me. I was really suprised by this as I on the other hand was not in love with her and also felt I was not attracted to her anymore. So we cut all ties again. Fast forward to 2020 and after a couple of failed relationships I found myself thinking about her more and more. So once again I reached out her and to my suprise she agreed to meet soon after. When we met I remember thinking she was so beautiful, although she was just the same as 2 years prior. I felt I had feelings for her again but only this time she was the one in a relationship. Can anyone relate to this ? How can you have feelings for someone, then lose them completely only for them to come back after years? I'd like to hear some opinions. Thanks.

[Wiseman2]

On/off relationships are fraught with mixed and complicated issues.

Particularly when exes backtrack through the black book after being dumped for easy companionship and sex.

It's possible you want to hear that she suddenly looks good because you're on the rebound? But was quite unappealing when she wanted you?.... Yes, typical on/off, push/pull drama.

Why does she bother with this or sustain a viable relationship? Why are you both always running in the background?

Just get off the on/off merry go round.

Edited November 11, 2020 by Wiseman2