donHibbardo Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 So I’m 43 and very well off retired. I’ve been wanting to get out there, but there’s nothing to do here in Southern California. Everyone is wearing masks and afraid to engage new people. I’ve even been trying to find someone to travel around the world (I pay for everything including first class) with no success. So where should I be going to find some cool, laidback women around my age? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 Try hiring an elite escort. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 @basil67 I was hoping to get something going with just a regular woman, but this stupid lockdown is making that near impossible. I’m going to go to Vegas next week, and hopefully I won’t have to go down that road. Guess I’ll just keep holding out like a sucker. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 The pandemic makes everything more difficult If you are truly affronted by masks try meeting somebody at a pro-Trump protest. There are some even in SoCal. You may find more in Nevada. If yours is just a general complaint that it's difficult when you can't see the other person's face, you may have to tough it out for a while. Try finding a meet up group that walks or hikes. You can talk & then figure out if it's worth unmasking. Do you like to play golf? When I was single I signed up for this group that arranged golf outings: 2 men & 2 women. Hey, even if the "date" wasn't great you get in 18 holes. So Cal is a vibrant place. I'm sure if you look around, you will find some options. Do not lead with your offer to take her traveling or you will end up with gold diggers only. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 11, 2020 Author Share Posted November 11, 2020 5 hours ago, d0nnivain said: The pandemic makes everything more difficult If you are truly affronted by masks try meeting somebody at a pro-Trump protest. There are some even in SoCal. You may find more in Nevada. If yours is just a general complaint that it's difficult when you can't see the other person's face, you may have to tough it out for a while. Try finding a meet up group that walks or hikes. You can talk & then figure out if it's worth unmasking. Do you like to play golf? When I was single I signed up for this group that arranged golf outings: 2 men & 2 women. Hey, even if the "date" wasn't great you get in 18 holes. So Cal is a vibrant place. I'm sure if you look around, you will find some options. Do not lead with your offer to take her traveling or you will end up with gold diggers only. Thanks for the suggestions. Not the best at golf, but that’s a really good idea. You made me realize how necessary it is to get out of that younger mindset. I need to head up to Northern California. There’s a lot more laid back things to do rather than the stupid LA club/bar scene. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 It doesn't have to be golf. That was just an example of something I found when I was single that worked for me because I like to play golf. Ironically I met my husband before I played my 1st round with that group. Again I can't speak to what is going on with Covid but MeetUp.com has some interesting groups. You may find a like minded person that way. What are you passionate about? Get involved in whatever that is & go from there. Staying out of the bar/ club scene & off OLD/apps as your primary means of meeting someone is best. Since you have the luxury of being retired so young maybe off your talents to something like SCORE.org mentoring budding entrepreneurs. You may meet a nice woman who's working to expand her business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 12, 2020 Author Share Posted November 12, 2020 I would actually really be interested in taking up golf. I played a little when I was younger, but it’s a very good idea. I pretty much like everything, especially anything that’s creative. Stuff like painting, sculpting and everything else. I’ll definitely look into your suggestions because I am not doing the bar/club scene. I want a woman, not a girl that’s about those things. I’m thinking about getting back into acting if I decide to stay here. Might buy a house in Japan or Europe for a change. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 The problem with a regular woman of your age is that she's likely not retired. If you're planning a long trip, she won't be able to take that amount of time off work. If she's got a mortgage, she will need to keep paying that and there could well be dependents she needs to look after. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 12, 2020 Author Share Posted November 12, 2020 55 minutes ago, basil67 said: The problem with a regular woman of your age is that she's likely not retired. If you're planning a long trip, she won't be able to take that amount of time off work. If she's got a mortgage, she will need to keep paying that and there could well be dependents she needs to look after. I’ll say this here, but not to them irl. If they turn out to be cool and potentially something serious, I’d handle that for them. So many people think money solves everything, it doesn’t. It’s bs actually. People you thought were friends turn on you if you don’t give them money or buy them stuff. So many people start scheming, and you it’s hard to tell who’s real. I have to pay way more taxes now for for almost nothing in return. Having to pay insane hospital bills for family. I could go on and on. I enjoyed being broke and not giving a f*** about the next day when I was younger. I just need a vacation from reality for awhile. Thanks though for the advice. Sorry to vent like that. I know everyone has problems, and comparatively mine aren’t bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Sorry you're struggling. When I first read your post, I thought you just wanted a travelling companion, but it sounds more like you want a partner you can travel with. Perhaps focus on meeting someone for a relationship rather than meeting them for travel? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Back in the day l actually had similar offers from a few women , nope l didn't go. Mind you if she happened to be THE woman , l would've though. One offered to fly me over to the US , and take me round the country on her Harley, true story. l'd be thinking in your sitch , it's not gonna be about love , the one , more a companion type thing. Because you can't just walk out the door find the one and the one that also wants to do that . So yeah why not put ads up somewhere, sure you'd get a few 1000 takers to choose from. My brothers 50s and single and he just discovered this hiking club. So he's been going on hikes and meeting piles of women. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 12, 2020 Author Share Posted November 12, 2020 6 hours ago, basil67 said: Sorry you're struggling. When I first read your post, I thought you just wanted a travelling companion, but it sounds more like you want a partner you can travel with. Perhaps focus on meeting someone for a relationship rather than meeting them for travel? Do I have to keep quoting you for you, or will just a reply work? Haven’t been on a board like this in awhile. Really the main thing that driving me crazy and why I need to get out, I just started with a personal trainer. She is no bs that dream girl I thought didn’t exist. She is perfect in every way (according to my tastes of course). We get along so good and it’s effortless in everything basically. You can guess where this is heading I’m guessing - She has a boyfriend. She’s said things that make it clear it’s just whatever, but they live together with kids from previous marriages. What would you do? Seriously I’m going crazy because she is THAT ONE. That’s why I just want to get out of here and clear my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author donHibbardo Posted November 12, 2020 Author Share Posted November 12, 2020 5 hours ago, Chilli said: Back in the day l actually had similar offers from a few women , nope l didn't go. Mind you if she happened to be THE woman , l would've though. One offered to fly me over to the US , and take me round the country on her Harley, true story. l'd be thinking in your sitch , it's not gonna be about love , the one , more a companion type thing. Because you can't just walk out the door find the one and the one that also wants to do that . So yeah why not put ads up somewhere, sure you'd get a few 1000 takers to choose from. My brothers 50s and single and he just discovered this hiking club. So he's been going on hikes and meeting piles of women. I actually like hiking too. That’s a good idea as well. I believe you got an offer like that. Seriously, a lot of people just want to get things when they can. So those are who have money try to pay for it. You’re right, and others too, you won’t attract the type you want. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Get on some elite high quality paid dating apps with a good profile and pics and start messaging and meeting women. Trawling at gyms isn't your best bet. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 4 hours ago, donHibbardo said: I just started with a personal trainer. She is no bs that dream girl I thought didn’t exist. She is perfect in every way (according to my tastes of course). We get along so good and it’s effortless in everything basically. * * * - She has a boyfriend. What would you do? Get a new trainer. You can't keep working with her & lusting after her. It's not good for either of you. If she can handle direct communication, when you drop her, tell her why but ask her if she has any female friends just like her who she could set you up with. Also ask her to refer you to a new male trainer. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) 4 hours ago, d0nnivain said: donHibbardo said: “We get along so good and it’s effortless in everything basically.“ She is in a service industry and she is literally being paid to be nice to you. Edited November 12, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Quoted text 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 25 minutes ago, elaine567 said: She is in a service industry and she is literally being paid to be nice to you. I agree with you that his trainer is paid to be nice to him. Your post attributes a quote about their effortless "relationship" to me. I never said that. The OP did. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, donHibbardo said: Do I have to keep quoting you for you, or will just a reply work? Haven’t been on a board like this in awhile. Really the main thing that driving me crazy and why I need to get out, I just started with a personal trainer. She is no bs that dream girl I thought didn’t exist. She is perfect in every way (according to my tastes of course). We get along so good and it’s effortless in everything basically. You can guess where this is heading I’m guessing - She has a boyfriend. She’s said things that make it clear it’s just whatever, but they live together with kids from previous marriages. What would you do? Seriously I’m going crazy because she is THAT ONE. That’s why I just want to get out of here and clear my mind. I'd leave it alone, boyfriend plus live together with their kids. Not cool to hit on her or even hint at it, she likely still needs to work in life and you just make her uncomfortable. There are plenty of women out there, but yes harder to meet with people taking pandemic precautions. At the age group you are interested in (women in their 40s) a lot of them are going to have parents old enough where they are in a high risk group from COVID. Now if you are good with masks, can still meet and get to know someone, especially if you can get your hands on some sealed N95 masks Can give her a couple on the first meet for that extra level of comfort. I suspect you will have no problems just need to get out there. OLD may work to meet women especially a paid site, but given your resources would look into a match maker. If you are looking for someone who doesn't are about your wealth or would like to keep that out of your profile a match maker or elite site etc. may not be the best. In my mind match makers and elite site that know about your money are basically gold digger clearing houses. Having lived in N Cal and S Cal and far E Cal/NV/AZ Agree with you on the LA scene. Edited November 12, 2020 by SumGuy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 47 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: Your post attributes a quote about their effortless "relationship" to me. I never said that. The OP did. I know. Sorry, I made a mistake by taking his words from your post and so it assigned it to you. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Ahhhh. . ..I didn't know how the system did that. Thanks for the explanation @elaine567 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 1 minute ago, d0nnivain said: Ahhhh. . ..I didn't know how the system did that. Thanks for the explanation @elaine567 I know because I did it once before but realised my mistake before I posted it, this time I didn't notice... Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 A Moderator has kindly fixed it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 @donHibbardo, yes, you can just hit reply. You talk about the PT as being THAT ONE. Let's pretend that she didn't have a boyfriend for a minute - what she does have are kids. She couldn't up and travel around the world with you. She's a mom and has to be around. But even if she didn't have kids, she's nurturing her clientele as a PT. Again, she can't just take off on a holiday. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Meet-up is good.. in normal times. You meet people with similar interests, i.e. just sign up for an event that you like eg a hike, or an outing, BUT certainly here in the UK, all meet-up events have been stopped. FFS even the walks have been so restricted into small groups that most people were put off. But once they open up again, its a great way ot make friends and romance too. I am 56 btw, although not retired. Another idea for you OP regarding the travelling, there are some good solo-travel firms for single people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 13, 2020 Share Posted November 13, 2020 Travelling with singles is a great idea. You will meet people who want to share the same lifestyle as you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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