Wife dresses inappropriately around house guests?

[Beachead]

Hey @Riverman2000

It would concern me if I was in your shoes so I hope that adds some confidence to your worries.  Mainly because she's inviting men over when you're not around. There are boundaries that need to be respected and established when it comes to the opposite sex.  Relationships hit problems, when those boundaries are being messed with.  It's not uncommon or unheard of for a partner to put their SO in an uncomfortable position where the SO has to speak up, only to then make them feel like they're the one with the problem.  

To make sure this isn't the case (And hopefully it isn't) I'd apply what @Julie13  said here:

On 11/12/2020 at 2:29 AM, Julie13 said:

To be honest you have every right to have this discussion with her. Start it by saying “ I would like to let you know that it’s uncomfortable for me when you wear revealing clothes around our friends, I’m letting you know how I feel and I’m not trying to be controlling , it  just makes me feel uncomfortable “ . Then listen to what she has to say . Let her know that you don’t mind her dressing this way when it’s just the two of you but around other friends it’s uncomfortable for you. 

Do not accuse her of anything.  Just tell her how it makes you feel.  How she responds will determine whether you've got a serious marital problem on your hands or not.

- Beach

Edited November 14, 2020 by Beachead

[Riverman2000]

So we had a talk last night, and i expressed how i felt, and she agreed to wearing a more conservative bathing suit when I'm not around. She agreed not to be so social or drink if our roommate has friends ove when im not home. All good! She still wants to dress in a way that makes her feel good about herself and body, which im fine with. She did admit to letting guys including our roommate feel her breasts on occassions when i wasn't present. But im willing to forgive and move on as she agreed to get rid of him and down size our living space and expenses 

Edited November 14, 2020 by Riverman2000

[DarrenB]

God help you and your marriage.

[d0nnivain]

43 minutes ago, Riverman2000 said:

She did admit to letting guys including our roommate feel her breasts on occassions when i wasn't present. But im willing to forgive and move on 

You are being played for a fool.  If she's admitting to letting them grope her you have to assume a heck of a lot more was going on.  

[Beachead]

@Riverman2000

3 hours ago, Riverman2000 said:

She did admit to letting guys including our roommate feel her breasts on occassions when i wasn't present.

Hmm.

I want to you sit back and reread this and really try to see how bad this is.  Reverse the roles and think about how she'd feel if you had a couple of women in your place, in a pool, half naked, while she was working, and you let them touch you.   I can think of a LOT of people who would have a problem with this.  This is a proper red flag.

Those guys are cool with crossing the line because she is.   She's made herself look like a woman who's unhappy and looking to leave for someone else and has disprespected herself and has disrespected you as well   I can assure you, those guys now see you as a chump and your wife as fair game.  Not to mention, by sticking around, you look weak to her.   That's the position she put you in. If I were you, I'd take this seriously.   

- Beach

Edited November 14, 2020 by Beachead

[Riverman2000]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You are being played for a fool.  If she's admitting to letting them grope her you have to assume a heck of a lot more was going on.  

I though the same. if she disclosed that and let that happen probably more went on. But she swears no

[Riverman2000]

5 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You are being played for a fool.  If she's admitting to letting them grope her you have to assume a heck of a lot more was going on.  

I believe her since she agreed to the changes i brought up. I will still put out the hidden camaras to verify 

[TaserTag]

While I do think that your wife should feel comfortable wearing and doing what she wants in her home, around her own pool, I did think it was a bit off that you discussed her breasts with the roommate and now I think it's really off that she's allowed people to touch her breasts.  Even if she has large and noticeable implants, it doesn't mean that her breasts are up for discussion or that she needs to let people feel them and see how real they are or whatever excuses are typically used there.  You should have shut the roommate down from the get go and made it clear that him discussing your wife's breasts or oogling them was off limits.  You and your wife both need to demand more respect from people.  The roommate definitely needs to find a new place to live.  And if you're not okay with people touching your wife's breasts, that needs to be crystal clear and that has to be respected.  The implants might make her more popular at her bartending job and garner larger tips, and that's fine, but no one needs to be touching her.  She can be proud of her body and show it off without it going this far, in my opinion.  Getting felt up by the roommate and his friends is really far over the line...

[Riverman2000]

20 minutes ago, TaserTag said:

While I do think that your wife should feel comfortable wearing and doing what she wants in her home, around her own pool, I did think it was a bit off that you discussed her breasts with the roommate and now I think it's really off that she's allowed people to touch her breasts.  Even if she has large and noticeable implants, it doesn't mean that her breasts are up for discussion or that she needs to let people feel them and see how real they are or whatever excuses are typically used there.  You should have shut the roommate down from the get go and made it clear that him discussing your wife's breasts or oogling them was off limits.  You and your wife both need to demand more respect from people.  The roommate definitely needs to find a new place to live.  And if you're not okay with people touching your wife's breasts, that needs to be crystal clear and that has to be respected.  The implants might make her more popular at her bartending job and garner larger tips, and that's fine, but no one needs to be touching her.  She can be proud of her body and show it off without it going this far, in my opinion.  Getting felt up by the roommate and his friends is really far over the line...

Yes thanks. Her and i need to be on the same page because it's difficult to shut them down when she's encouraging the behavior by flaunting or her herself not shutting them down and laughing about it. Either way i should step in and i dont

Edited November 14, 2020 by Riverman2000

[d0nnivain]

5 hours ago, Riverman2000 said:

. I will still put out the hidden camaras to verify 

Hopefully you will believe your own eyes

[Atwood]

I'm sorry but she let a group of men touch her breasts? Allowing some ogling is treading the thin line, physical contact is sprinting across it. 

She has no respect for you. If you hadn't been bothered by her swimwear, would she ever have admitted it? If she has to have a man physically removed from her space in order to stop cheating on you, this is just a sign of more to come I'm afraid. 

[CLS63AMG]

She's after the attention, it turns her on - for now.  Unless you get this under control you're gonna find her bent over in the shed with a guest, just warning you.  She's acting like you are swingers.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

15 hours ago, Atwood said:

I'm sorry but she let a group of men touch her breasts? Allowing some ogling is treading the thin line, physical contact is sprinting across it. 

 

 

I sense that the wife with the new breasts is still often in the frame of mind that the breasts in question aren't reeeeeeeeeeally   *hers*   just yet.

 

 

Perhaps not until you get used to them, do they feel like space that is invaded.

 

Right now she's merely weighing  what she senses are the huge new benefits...   while perhaps literally weighing  them where they sit.

 

 

[salparadise]

On 11/12/2020 at 9:48 AM, d0nnivain said:

Install some kind of nanny cam at your house by the pool without her knowledge or the knowledge of this roommate & you will probably get an eye full. 

I don't see a problem... a laissez-faire attitude, a pro video and lighting crew, and a well written contract and your money problems are history... everyone becomes famous, including the 55 year old roommate, and she gets more attention than she ever imagined. You can then consider that boob job a lucrative investment instead of worrying about the debt.

Edited November 16, 2020 by salparadise

[Poutrew]

So, after the titty rubdown, what other body parts did she let them feel? I know where my hand and fingers would go next... damn, this is starting to read like a porn movie

 

[smackie9]

I just have to say this.....grow a set and tell her it's time to cut out the crap, get off her butt and find a full time job, ....then kick out the roommate,....Go consolidate your dept and knock it down to one low easy monthly payment. Get a handle on your spending. Stop with the hidden cameras....you seriously need to communicate with your wife...it's free and it doesn't cost you anything.

Edited November 16, 2020 by smackie9

[notbroken]

Wow.  If a guy touched my wife's breast we would definitely have a problem - like get out immediately and he'd be lucky if we didn't come to blows.  Total disrespect - both by your 'roommates' and your wife.   Honestly, that is grounds for divorce as far as I'm concerned.   Tell her you won't tolerate that kind of behavior - and then don't! (unless you are ok with it - then don't be surprised when, not if,  this escalates).    My guess is lots of feeling has been going on when you are away.   Your wife likes the attention.  You have a real problem that likely isn't going away on it's own - particularly if you don't put your foot down immediately.  

[Atwood]

On 11/16/2020 at 1:59 AM, SincereOnlineGuy said:

 

I sense that the wife with the new breasts is still often in the frame of mind that the breasts in question aren't reeeeeeeeeeally   *hers*   just yet.

 

 

Perhaps not until you get used to them, do they feel like space that is invaded.

 

Right now she's merely weighing  what she senses are the huge new benefits...   while perhaps literally weighing  them where they sit.

 

 

Whilst I'm happy to explore and discuss the post-augmentation feelings someone might experience, it's not really an excuse to cheat on your partner. Whether or not they feel like her breasts, she knows full well that they are and I don't think making these excuses for her is in the best interest of the OP, who has has their trust and boundaries crossed. 

[Wiseman2]

On 11/11/2020 at 11:43 PM, Riverman2000 said:

, my wife wears a thong bikini or revealing clothing like tiny shorts or tights shirts with no bra. ? 

I'm confused. Is it her outfits or the touching that is the main issue?

She could be in sweatshirts and letting random men touch her. Or she could be wearing skimpy swimsuits around the house without inviting your roommates to touch her.

[Trail Blazer]

On 11/12/2020 at 5:37 PM, basil67 said:

By the time you get home from work?   What time do you get home?

Where does she find all these men who she invites over?  Whey are they able to spend afternoons swimming and partying with your wife instead of working?   What do their partners think about them having a men's gathering with your wife?   What happens when you get home?

Trying to make sense of it all .

 

I can only potentially answer one of those questions.  I work in the oilfields and spend up to one month at work.  With an even roster, I can be home for up to one month as well.  Some people have asked me if I ever work. 🤣

You get that in on-shore or off-shore drilling, coal mining or other associated industries.  With the big money in these industries, you get a lot of cashed-up dudes who live a party lifestyle when home.  

[basil67]

@Trail Blazer I understand.  My husband used to work rotating shifts and frequently have afternoons off too.  But he didn't have a big group of mates who also had afternoons off.  He had to play golf on his own because everyone else was working....and after that had families to go home to.

What I find unlikely is:

•  a group of 50 something men could all frequently have afternoons off on the same day,
• have an unemployed mate who lives at a house with a lovely pool  
• have a landlord who's hot young wife also has time off to be hanging with the old guys
• hot young wife has interest in hanging out with with old guys
• hot young wife likes to flaunt her stuff to old guys

That's a huge amount of coincidence 🤔

[Uruktopi]

On 11/14/2020 at 7:24 PM, Riverman2000 said:

I though the same. if she disclosed that and let that happen probably more went on. But she swears no

...and perhaps she also swears that Earth is flat?

...and even if she is true about what didn´t, is not quite enough what already happened?

Edited November 18, 2020 by Uruktopi

[Sparta]

I cannot believe that there are guys that this this naïve wow. And yet here we are again these guys have been running a train on your wife and you’re just OK. You’re a lot cooler than I am. And if she thinks she’s not capable of this just read some of the stories here in another infidelity websites. Good luck buddy. 

[Cookiesandough]

xxxxxxxx

Edited November 20, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[gamon]

On 11/14/2020 at 11:38 AM, Riverman2000 said:

She did admit to letting guys including our roommate feel her breasts on occassions when i wasn't present.

Perfectly normal behavior, everyone does that.