Ms.Jade Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 I don't really know where to start. For a long time I've been on an instant quest to find a decent boyfriend. Over the years I've dated off and and I've come across so many crappy guys and overall I've come to a point where I've pretty much threw in the towel with dating. I just feel very jaded and worn out by so many bad experiences. With taking a break I'm realizing that I can't handle being alone and in a way think my main purpose of finding a boyfriend is to fill this empty void I've felt for a LONG time. Everything is fine in every other aspect of my life, I have a good job, a nice home etc however something is missing and I can't put my finger on it. I have maybe 2 or 3 good friends I talk to on the phone on a regular basis and I really haven't had much social interaction outside of work since the pandemic started which adds to the emptiness. I'm not sad or depressed, I just feel really blah with everything. Nothing really interests me and I tend to start new projects or hobbies trying to keep myself occupied and I lose interest in it altogether eventually. I think I'm really ready for someone to come into my life who understands me completely, someone I can laugh talk and confide in. I want that so bad but I can't seem to find a guy that appreciates me and see my worth which really has me lonely and bitter. I really don't know what to do at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Some of it is how you think about the world. You think that a BF will fill the void. Stop that mindset. Rather think about how once you are whole & fulfilled a partner will just expand everything A partner doesn't make you whole. Perhaps start a gratitude journal so you have concrete evidence of the blessings in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) I don’t know. Maybe you like the companionship and your needs are met better in a committed relationship. It’s not unusual. I’d say majority people are like you and much more satisfied in a relationship. Edited November 12, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 You need to find ways to get yourself into a positive, happy, hopeful state of mind before you even start dating. Like attracts like. When you're feeling jaded and worn out, you're going to attract men in exactly the same state of mind. Everything starts within. Correct your mind and the rest of your life falls into place. It all begins with YOU. You have to be complete on your own before you can truly love and be loved. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted November 14, 2020 Share Posted November 14, 2020 All good advice. You need to learn to be happy in yourself, no-one can make you happy, although I agree the love/company of a close partner is one of life's great pleasures. BUT you can't force it. You will meet lots of potentials who are not right and now and again you will meet a "soul mate" but it takes time. I say "better to be alone than with someone who isn't right for you". I feel the same as you (deflated!). The pandemic restrictions will be affecting you more than you know, we have lost so much, of what makes us happy. Personally, I have found that its not healthy to focus on what i can't do eg. socialise, date, change jobs/make money, can't even go to the gym FFS! What I can do is: be kind to self, do my work, pay my bills and appreciate my down time, get good alone, read, watch tv, exercise at home, keep in touch with people who make me feel good, avoid those that don't, and look forward to getting out of this crappy current situation. And I keep on count my blessings/ keep a journal, and it helps. B 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Chilli Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 lt's perfectly natural most humans prefer a mate in life there's nothing wrong with you or that. Unfortunately though it just hasn't happened for whatever reasons as yet. Does sound like you choose some pretty crappy guys though so first thing l'd be thinking is be more selective or stay out of it until the right one comes along. So many people in forums don't even seem to understand how important that is and just shoot blindly at anything for yrs on end. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted November 16, 2020 Share Posted November 16, 2020 On 11/12/2020 at 7:17 AM, Ms.Jade said: I've come across so many crappy guys On 11/12/2020 at 7:17 AM, Ms.Jade said: I just feel really blah with everything. Nothing really interests me and I tend to start new projects or hobbies trying to keep myself occupied and I lose interest in it altogether eventually. There's devaluation in what you're saying, you are giving things a negative label. Link to post Share on other sites
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