julia Posted June 16, 2001 Share Posted June 16, 2001 My Fiance and I have just moved out of our parents homes in order to start a life together. The man who used to worship me now critisises evrything i do- or dont do. I try to keep things clean but if its not spotless its not good enough I am rethinking him altoger as he has turnrd into an a**h***.. last night he said its amazing how a woman cant clean but then she can lie on her back,, he also hit me with a spoon on my but (which he thought was funny) for asking him to scrap food out of a container. is this abuse in the long run??I really feel traped as weve just moved out, got engaged. its been a month, and i dont know what to fo. I dont want to go home yet. im 21 hes 29 any suggestions.?? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 16, 2001 Share Posted June 16, 2001 Have a talk with him and make it VERY CLEAR that you will only be treated with respect and consideration. Let him know you are not perfect and let him know if he wants someone who is absolutely perfect he has to look elsewhere. You say you don't want to leave quite yet but this situation is getting out of hand quickly. You must be very assertive here. If he doesn't show respect and show it soon, you have no alternative but to cancel the engagement and move back home. People basically treat us the way we allow them to. You cannot tolerate this kind of treatment from him or anybody. You must put your foot down. The biggest problem here is that he would behave this way at all. You shouldn't have to tell the man you are engaged to to have respect for you. That's kind of pathetic. This guy sounds like a real loser. I am very sorry this is happening to you. What a jerk!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Sierra Sugar Posted June 18, 2001 Share Posted June 18, 2001 Why don't you tell him to do some of the work himself. Just because you are a woman it doesn't mean you do all the housework. Tell him to piss off with the attitude and to pick up a duster and clean up his own crap. You should not be letting him push you around. At least you havn't yet married this guy and you have gotten a taste of what he will be like. I would tell him how you feel and that if things don't change you are not going to put up with his bull for a lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
cinsi Posted June 20, 2001 Share Posted June 20, 2001 Don't let this or any guy tell you what to do! I live with my b-friend and although he does not clean as much as I do he has NEVER asked me to do anything around the house. You can do better, just get your own place or a roommate and go have some fun. 21 is too young to be treated like an old housewife! You should be out living! Why don't you tell him to do some of the work himself. Just because you are a woman it doesn't mean you do all the housework. Tell him to piss off with the attitude and to pick up a duster and clean up his own crap. You should not be letting him push you around. At least you havn't yet married this guy and you have gotten a taste of what he will be like. I would tell him how you feel and that if things don't change you are not going to put up with his bull for a lifetime. Link to post Share on other sites
julia - Thanks for the advice peopels Posted June 24, 2001 Share Posted June 24, 2001 Thanks for the advice. I moved into the spare room for one night and wrote him a letter saying i was not puting up with the attitude,He has cleaned all week and treated me like a princess again... Thanks Guys!!! My Fiance and I have just moved out of our parents homes in order to start a life together. The man who used to worship me now critisises evrything i do- or dont do. I try to keep things clean but if its not spotless its not good enough I am rethinking him altoger as he has turnrd into an a**h***.. last night he said its amazing how a woman cant clean but then she can lie on her back,, he also hit me with a spoon on my but (which he thought was funny) for asking him to scrap food out of a container. is this abuse in the long run??I really feel traped as weve just moved out, got engaged. its been a month, and i dont know what to fo. I dont want to go home yet. im 21 hes 29 any suggestions.?? Link to post Share on other sites
Bee Posted June 26, 2001 Share Posted June 26, 2001 Love is a two way street. You should be sharing the household duties. My b-f and I split what needs to be done based on what we like to best or what we dislike the least . I love to cook, but hate doing the clean up. So he cleans and does the dishes. It's that simple really. Don't let this or any guy tell you what to do! I live with my b-friend and although he does not clean as much as I do he has NEVER asked me to do anything around the house. You can do better, just get your own place or a roommate and go have some fun. 21 is too young to be treated like an old housewife! You should be out living! Link to post Share on other sites
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