Just cant forget and move on.

[lee179108]

So me and my ex broke up at the end of August, was still a bit of contact there and mixed messages up until the end of October..  but its over and it was our second breakup, similar things were said in the first breakup.. i wont go into detail as ive done another post on here about everything that happened, link below if you want to read it all but it is long.. but if you want to grasp it have a read. I come on here to vent as it helps me in a weird way...

 

Anyway, I just cant go a day without thinking about her, I cant move on from her.. I feel like ive made some progress in stopping unblocking her instagram and then blocking her again. I have now just blocked her and left her at that as I dont want to keep feeling like this.  But I know shes on tinder moving on even though she said she wanted to be single...  and thats what shes doing until she finds the right one...   Im on dating apps myself, ive had 3 dates but just didnt connect with any of them, they didnt towards me as I didnt towards them.. i have no other girls that im talking to.  I guess im afraid of being alone for a long time, I have my own house and live an hour away from my friends/parents etc...  and this covid stuff doesnt make it easy and i always have to plan way in advanced to see them and even then its not guaranteed.  Im 30 next August and I do worry about being alone for long and not settling down, I know people tell me to be happy on my own first, but quite frankly i dont like being alone.. when i bought this house i was with her and she helped me through everything.  

I keep wondering if shel ever reach out again or miss me, last xmas i spent it with her and her family and keep thinking this year will be so hard and i want her to miss me... thats what she said she wanted when we broke up. But shes made it clear shes moving on, that im a great guy but we aint soul mates... even though a couple months before she said we were...  theres numerous weird things that shes done/acted which is all explained in my post linked before.  I've talked to a councellor at work on both occaisions we broke up who tell me its like she has some sort of borderline personality disorder due to her actions/no empathy and i kind of agree with that.  I go to the gym often, im in shape, i talk to friends when I can... but i just cant get better. Im quite an impatient guy as well...  my ex before her i had a house with so there was ties... it took me 5 months to meet my current ex and then i forgot about every single thing. Im terrible for overthinking as well and she has hurt me mentally from all of this.. I know she doesnt care now as shes been around my area in the past couple weeks as she visits with her family every year.. we dont speak anymore and shes deleted my number and only has email as a form of contact now unless she has kept my number somewhere else. 

Im trying to improve my appearance a lot more but occaisions like xmas, valentines and birthdays make my head go into over drive. I wish I could stop thinking about her and about me being lonely in future but i cant. 

 

[LostHeart17]

I know it’s been a few weeks, how are things now? I’m also trying to move on from someone. 
What helps for me is journaling and thinking of his bad qualities. It works pretty well! He’s with someone else now and whenever I start to picture them together, I let the thought stay for a little bit (bc forcing it to go away only makes is come back stronger) then I force myself to think of something else. Even if it’s looking around the room and naming stuff that I see (brown couch, black tv, red pillow, etc) it occupies your mind so hopefully it will help you not think of her so much. 
Remember, you didn’t lose her. She lost you. 
let us know how you’re doing!

Edited December 1, 2020 by LostHeart17
Misspelled word