How Long Does it Take You to Get Ready for a Date?

[mark clemson]

On 11/20/2020 at 9:21 PM, ThereSheGoes said:

The down side to doing all this, is that I show up looking fabulous, and he's just in jeans and a T-shirt. 😐

 

But ... I look good in a T-shirt and jeans, with a 5 o'clock shadow.   😉

(Note: Not that I'm dating.)

 

I will also say that I'm impressed by your regimen, and have little doubt that it helps you be "more effective" when dating. Your list of reasons is solid too IMO.

My general philosophy towards this sort of thing is you want the other person to feel "wow, it's my lucky day!" or similar as soon as they set eyes on you.

Edited November 23, 2020 by mark clemson

[Cookiesandough]

On 11/22/2020 at 1:25 PM, ThereSheGoes said:

 

Have you tried using a credit card? I heard that helps in getting an even coating!

And yes, it can be a lot. Whats even more disappointing is when, you do all of this, and he just shows up in basketball shorts and dirty sneakers.

Looking up credit card trick now. Thanks!! 

[Wiseman2]

It's nice you make an effort. However it seems extreme. Also schlumping around like that most of the time sort of rules out meeting people in real life.

If you are overdone and overdressed, and your date shows up in appropriate date-casual attire, it makes you appear desperate and a bit naive about dating.

You need to rethink this. If you are going for a casual first meet, showing up like a promqueen or drag queen, is a mistake.

[introverted1]

19 hours ago, mark clemson said:

 

My general philosophy towards this sort of thing is you want the other person to feel "wow, it's my lucky day!" or similar as soon as they set eyes on you.

This can happen even if you don't spend 2 hours primping.  My experience is that there are just as many men who prefer a more casual look.  Different strokes and all that...

4 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

 

You need to rethink this. If you are going for a casual first meet, showing up like a promqueen or drag queen, is a mistake.

She probably doesn't look like either of these. Some men really like a done up woman.  Others prefer a more natural look.  She's appealing to the first group. 

[SumGuy]

On 11/21/2020 at 12:21 AM, ThereSheGoes said:

So.....it takes me about 5 hours to get ready for a date.

....

How long does it take you to get ready?

Well there is the capital investment of working out 3 times a week for 6 months, or watching what I eat and drink...but after that, shower, a good shave, maybe some touch up nose, ear, other light grooming (if leisurely all told, maybe 30 minutes), hair is short so running a comb through it it the height of its styling, brush my teeth.  Tend to not dither on clothes or shoes (know what I have and all its combos), or have ones that require me to press them (the clothes I have like that the dry cleaner presses).  So 45 minutes top.  However, I can be ready in 10 min. if power through all that.

Should I include feeding the dog, taking him out and the other little things need to do before walking out the door?

 

Think I would really go for your look, I do love that thick wavy hair look ...my girlfriend's hair is like that.   Understand the work it takes, heck even used to have long hair my self way back in the day..so really understand.

Edited November 24, 2020 by SumGuy

[trident_2020]

On 11/21/2020 at 12:21 AM, ThereSheGoes said:

So.....it takes me about 5 hours to get ready for a date.

Damn I sure hope you don't get stood up very often.

 

[Cookiesandough]

I like this thread. Lately I’ve been finding it really hard to find motivation to get ready for dates. It’s just too easy to stay home anymore. Also, I am so bad with time. Sometimes I do not start getting ready until it’s way late and I’m sweating it and rushing out the door. have to pick an outfit the day before, or it just isn’t happening. I do like to take my time to get ready though. Make sure everything‘s on point. It is a great feeling to walk into a first date, see his face, and know that you’ve knocked his socks off

Edited November 25, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[mark clemson]

On 11/24/2020 at 5:08 AM, introverted1 said:

This can happen even if you don't spend 2 hours primping.  My experience is that there are just as many men who prefer a more casual look.  Different strokes and all that...

Some men really like a done up woman.  Others prefer a more natural look.

A fair point.

For myself, WRT women - I don't mind a casual look, it's not a problem. Looking better is an improvement over that (if done well). For example I like it when my wife dresses up a bit for a date night. In a first date scenario it shows genuine interest in getting off to a good start. The man should look good (whatever that means for him) as well.

If it's overdone and she looks ready for a gala ball or something to his casual (or vice versa), no doubt it would make things awkward.

[ThereSheGoes]

On 11/24/2020 at 3:02 AM, Wiseman2 said:

It's nice you make an effort. However it seems extreme. Also schlumping around like that most of the time sort of rules out meeting people in real life.

If you are overdone and overdressed, and your date shows up in appropriate date-casual attire, it makes you appear desperate and a bit naive about dating.

You need to rethink this. If you are going for a casual first meet, showing up like a promqueen or drag queen, is a mistake.

 

LOL. Wiseman, I'm not showing up looking like Cinderella going to the ball. 😛LOL.

I wish I could post pictures of what I look like on date night, so I'll just tell you. Tomorrow I'm going on a smoothie date. So, I'm thinking: A flared black suspender skirt (hitting about mid thigh), black turtle neck, black fitted blazer, black thigh high stockings, black ankle boots that has a block heel, matt makeup; nude eyes, very matt face, natural brows, and a bright red lip. Hair down, parted to the side and curled, topped with a black woolen beret. And a black Steven Madden hand bag.

Thats too much?

Edited November 27, 2020 by ThereSheGoes

[ThereSheGoes]

On 11/24/2020 at 2:41 PM, SumGuy said:

Well there is the capital investment of working out 3 times a week for 6 months, or watching what I eat and drink...but after that, shower, a good shave, maybe some touch up nose, ear, other light grooming (if leisurely all told, maybe 30 minutes), hair is short so running a comb through it it the height of its styling, brush my teeth.  Tend to not dither on clothes or shoes (know what I have and all its combos), or have ones that require me to press them (the clothes I have like that the dry cleaner presses).  So 45 minutes top.  However, I can be ready in 10 min. if power through all that.

Should I include feeding the dog, taking him out and the other little things need to do before walking out the door?

 

Think I would really go for your look, I do love that thick wavy hair look ...my girlfriend's hair is like that.   Understand the work it takes, heck even used to have long hair my self way back in the day..so really understand.

 

Looks like you have your things planned out! I really appreciate it when a man takes the time to go the extra mile with his look. Like trimming the nose and ear hairs, making sure his clothes are coordinated, things like that. I feel like society doesn't expect a man to look put together in that way, especially for a date. They just expect them to show up, really.

And yes, I sometimes want to chop it all off in to a bob, but I know I'll miss it.

[ThereSheGoes]

On 11/24/2020 at 2:55 PM, trident_2020 said:

Damn I sure hope you don't get stood up very often.

 

 

Thankfully, very very few. And usually, I was still at home. Lol. I was all ready, and they just stopped responding.

[ThereSheGoes]

On 11/24/2020 at 6:37 PM, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

I like this thread. Lately I’ve been finding it really hard to find motivation to get ready for dates. It’s just too easy to stay home anymore. Also, I am so bad with time. Sometimes I do not start getting ready until it’s way late and I’m sweating it and rushing out the door. have to pick an outfit the day before, or it just isn’t happening. I do like to take my time to get ready though. Make sure everything‘s on point. It is a great feeling to walk into a first date, see his face, and know that you’ve knocked his socks off

 

Exaaaactly! You want to be the show stopper.

And I know what you mean, about not finding the motivation. I have actually said No to several dates lately, because I just didn't feel up to getting myself ready, strapping myself in to some clothes, and then having to be 'On' for the date.

[Wiseman2]

The point is if you ever have a relationship rather than serial first dates, you'll have to rethink these excesses.

Hopefully you will never get as far as living together/ married, no less a relationship where you see each other regularly.

If you live with parents, you may have time for these extremes. One thing to keep in mind is that there are men everywhere and if you need a this type of inordinate routine to be presentable, you'll probably overlook many real life opportunities.

Perhaps you just want first dates. Any subsequent dates would be too exhausting and let's face it, people want to date real people, not a persona.

[basil67]

I tend to agree with Wiseman2.  I’ve never gone to these extremes, yet never had trouble finding a partner.   Short of a brief ego boost, what good is ‘knocking his socks off’ if you’re not finding the relationship you’re looking for ?

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said:

. Tomorrow I'm going on a smoothie date. 

 5 hours of work seems inordinate for a smoothie. Think about it. It's less than a dollar an hour. 

So you are investigating in tons of makeup, outfits,etc and your dates are springing for coffee smoothies, whatever?

Yeah, overinvesting is a huge relationship mistake, however for dating?... there's not even a term for it.

What if he shows up appropriately in jeans/casual?

Apparently you're not "wowing"them as much as you would like, because it's serial first meets that don't go anywhere.

 

Edited November 27, 2020 by Wiseman2

[ThereSheGoes]

53 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

The point is if you ever have a relationship rather than serial first dates, you'll have to rethink these excesses.

Hopefully you will never get as far as living together/ married, no less a relationship where you see each other regularly.

If you live with parents, you may have time for these extremes. One thing to keep in mind is that there are men everywhere and if you need a this type of inordinate routine to be presentable, you'll probably overlook many real life opportunities.

Perhaps you just want first dates. Any subsequent dates would be too exhausting and let's face it, people want to date real people, not a persona.

 

1. Uh, sir, whose hitting on me at the Walmart? Lol. Even when I did go shopping done up, no one would come my way. Probably because I was never looking for it.

2. I don't know where you've gotten the idea that I just go on a bunch of first dates that never go anywhere. 8/10, the guy usually wants to see me again. So, I do get a return, usually. And I've had several relationships in the past. The reasons for our break ups had nothing to do with my getting-ready amount of time or the look that I aim to project. The only time a guy didn't necessarily appreciate my look, was when it came to kissing me, he would taste my makeup, and he hated it. So, every time I would go over to his place, I would just do everything else, but go bare faced. Which to be honest, did make me feel a little insecure, but it was what he wanted, and he still continued to see me, so I must not be THAT scary without makeup, lol. I even brought a makeup bag, just in case he decided we were going to go out.

3. I don't think my routine or style will hamper me from having a fulfilling relationship with someone, especially when it comes to cohabitation. Maybe because I also don't have a desire to want to live with my future partner.  The reason for this is not a superficial one; I just want my space. I want to come home to an empty house. I want to sleep in my own bed and just be me in my own peace of mind, without the absolute knowledge that your life companion is in the other room, or he's laying right beside you. Always always always there. I'm an introvert, I need and crave my own space.

Also, I don't believe in marriage. So thats just another reason in to the bucket of reasons why I don't want to cohabitate. I barely like sleep overs as it is. Not only because, I don't have my things to make myself feel comfortable, it's also because I hate sleeping with other people. I wake up feeling.....so gross. Body sore, sleep deprived, stomach hurts, hair all crazy and matted because I've sweated over in the night while laying on it, and it got stuck to my face, so now it's all crunchy and stiff, and I need a brush, but I didn't bring one........and my partner is usually fresh as the morning dew, happy and ready to tackle the day.  Meanwhile, I'm counting down the minutes till I can get to my OWN bed and sleep.

In a perfect word, I would love to enjoy a life partner who has his place and I have mine, and we convene for our sharing of time together.

[Cookiesandough]

Hey I think that outfit sounds super cute. I think you will do just fine in a relationship. I know women who do just fine that can spend just as long as that getting ready for an event. Also, when you’re in a relationship, you probably have the incentive to do maintenance, so it’s not so much at one time(?)I’m the one who likes to go on dates that go nowhere. 😊

Edited November 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Wiseman2]

Ok, so dating is for entertainment, not a relationship. That's fine. 

So is preferring your own place and space.

It's not Noah's Ark anymore. No one has to be paired up and marched off.

You can choose any lifestyle you wish. It was unclear from your post that dating is just for entertainment, not a relationship.

Don't look for dates at Walmart.😂

[LivingWaterPlease]

7 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said:

 

 

In a perfect word, I would love to enjoy a life partner who has his place and I have mine, and we convene for our sharing of time together.

This is the way I feel about a life partner, too...until I fall in love. Then I want to be with him 24/7.

I will mention the last guy I dated (wasn't in love with him) for any length of time wanted to see me without make up. Didn't tell me this, though. I just was without makeup around him a lot because I don't always wear it and he expressed his appreciation for my comfort level without it. He'd dated at least one woman who wouldn't let him see her without it.

Sometimes I think I look better without make up than with it. Without is so clean and pure-looking. It seems very seductive to me in a way, too. Like, naked face kind of seductive.

While we're discussing, I have a friend who's been married for forty years and her husband has never seen her with wet hair. She doesn't like the shape of her head so doesn't get her hair wet when at the pool or beach when he's around and he never sees her in the shower or coming out of the shower. She's a lovely person, the best. But, good grief! I could never pull that off! He'd have to love me, egg-shaped head and all if I had a weird-shaped head, for me to marry him.

Edited November 27, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease

[Datergirl]

On 11/22/2020 at 6:21 AM, Shining One said:

It was a New Year's Eve ONS. We both knew that going in, so no minds were changed. It's just a memorable occurrence since I never had a woman go to quite that length.

If I were to experience that again with a woman I was pursuing a relationship with, I'd probably bring it up after a couple times.

If it's a ONS why would someone go to this effort the morning after??? I mean, they're not seeing you again so who cares! Bizarre 😂

[ThereSheGoes]

10 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Ok, so dating is for entertainment, not a relationship. That's fine. 

So is preferring your own place and space.

It's not Noah's Ark anymore. No one has to be paired up and marched off.

You can choose any lifestyle you wish. It was unclear from your post that dating is just for entertainment, not a relationship.

Don't look for dates at Walmart.😂

 

Lol, I want a relationship! I want a monogamous relationship. I am dating to find a monogamous relationship. I want commitment and I want monogamy. But under my own terms. Thats all. 🙂

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, ThereSheGoes said:

I want commitment and I want monogamy. But under my own terms.  🙂

Monarchy or monogamy?🤔

[ThereSheGoes]

3 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

This is the way I feel about a life partner, too...until I fall in love. Then I want to be with him 24/7.

I will mention the last guy I dated (wasn't in love with him) for any length of time wanted to see me without make up. Didn't tell me this, though. I just was without makeup around him a lot because I don't always wear it and he expressed his appreciation for my comfort level without it. He'd dated at least one woman who wouldn't let him see her without it.

Sometimes I think I look better without make up than with it. Without is so clean and pure-looking. It seems very seductive to me in a way, too. Like, naked face kind of seductive.

While we're discussing, I have a friend who's been married for forty years and her husband has never seen her with wet hair. She doesn't like the shape of her head so doesn't get her hair wet when at the pool or beach when he's around and he never sees her in the shower or coming out of the shower. She's a lovely person, the best. But, good grief! I could never pull that off! He'd have to love me, egg-shaped head and all if I had a weird-shaped head, for me to marry him.

 

Yeah, I can see why for some guys they're really in to the look of their partners without makeup. And I feel like, based upon your own features and skin type, a bare face can look really sexy. Not all of us are blessed like you, lol. I neglected my skin as a teen so I have dark spots and there's texture on my forehead. As it get older, it seems to get better, but I still don't like it.

And I will agree. After 40 years.....woooooo.

Edited November 27, 2020 by ThereSheGoes

[ThereSheGoes]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Monarchy or monogamy?🤔

 

Monogamy. Lol. If I can find a man who is into the same ideals and desires the same, or if he is willing to respect my wishes, what a beautiful day it would be.

I'm not going to go out and date a man who sees himself married and with kids in the next 5 years. It would be a waste of time for both him and me. I have been able to find men who don't want kids and who are very nonchalant about marriage, but completely unsure about the living situation part,  so far. So I don't think what I'm asking for is unreasonable or far fetched. I've seen it done successfully before.

[Cookiesandough]

When a man gets to see you without make up, that’s the REAL getting naked .For his eyes only. I lived with my ex for about seven months. I don’t think he ever saw me without make up lol. I mean, I would wake up with half of it smeared all over my face, but it would still be on my face. Yeah yeah yeah “you shouldn’t sleep in make up blah blah blah blah blah”

Edited November 27, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes