The girl at the pharmacy!

[Brokendad]

Hello. Some of you may have seen my other posts from a few months back about my break down of marriage/child custody issues, but this is slightly different!

Basically, I have a couple of medical conditions which means I require regular medications. When I go to collect them from my local pharmacy, there is a girl that works in there who is always really friendly and kind. If she is serving me, she always makes a point of having a little conversation with me, asks about my children etc. If I go in and get served by someone else, as soon as they ask for my name and I say my name, this girl will straight away call out and say hello to me etc. She must serve hundreds of people (the pharmacy is in a supermarket) so for her to remember my name and to remember things about me is quite surprising. I'd really like to ask this girl out for a drink or whatever, but I don't know how too! Also, because the pharmacy is in the middle of a busy supermarket, there's no way I could ever stroke up the courage to ask her! Is there any advice any of you could give me?! I went in there this evening to pick some bits up, but her colleague served me, but again, as soon as I said my name, she turned around and jokingly asked "what do you want now?" And asked me how I am and how my girls are etc. I'd really like to chat to her, even if it was just as friends, but because I'm so nervous etc, I don't know how to ask her!

[Miss Spider]

Remember it’s part of her job to be nice to you 

Edited November 21, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Brokendad]

3 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

Remember it’s part of her job to be nice to you 

It is, but if I worked in a place where I probably serve 100+ people every single day, I don't think I'd remember all their names and remember things about their lives to ask them about them! I've seen her serve other people and barely a word is said between them, but with me she seems really keen to speak

[Wiseman2]

54 minutes ago, Brokendad said:

I went in there this evening to pick some bits up, but her colleague served me, but again, as soon as I said my name, she turned around and jokingly asked "what do you want now?" And asked me how I am and how my girls are etc. I'd really like to chat to her, even if it was just as friends, but because I'm so nervous etc, I don't know how to ask her!

Ask a question about your meds, (anything)  try to segue that into maybe grabbing a coffee sometime. Keep it friendly, though and make sure it doesn't come off as hitting on her (even if it sort of is)

[Miss Spider]

6 minutes ago, Brokendad said:

It is, but if I worked in a place where I probably serve 100+ people every single day, I don't think I'd remember all their names and remember things about their lives to ask them about them! I've seen her serve other people and barely a word is said between them, but with me she seems really keen to speak

When we like someone, it’s easy to read too much into their actions and pick out things we see as signs of interest. If you want to ask her out, go ahead and do it. However, there is no way to ask her out and make it look like you’re not hitting on her. You are hitting on her. It’s a cold approach. And if she is even slightly attractive, it probably happens to her often

Edited November 21, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[basil67]

16 minutes ago, Brokendad said:

It is, but if I worked in a place where I probably serve 100+ people every single day, I don't think I'd remember all their names and remember things about their lives to ask them about them! I've seen her serve other people and barely a word is said between them, but with me she seems really keen to speak

Back in the old days, I used to work as a bank teller, serving way more than 100+ people every day.  While I certainly didn't remember everyone, I remembered those who's transactions or personalities were a little different and we'd chat though the transaction.    Of the people your chemist doesn't talk to, are the strangers to the pharmacy?  Or perhaps they only come in for a basic transaction with unmemorable meds on occasion.  

I'm a regular at our pharmacy because our son is on a cocktail of drugs.  The pharmacist knows who my whole family is, greets us by name and is so welcoming.   I also know that he's married with four kids and what suburb he lives in       And with that last comment, have you ever asked her about her own life?  Does she have a partner? 

[Chilli]

1 hour ago, Brokendad said:

It is, but if I worked in a place where I probably serve 100+ people every single day, I don't think I'd remember all their names and remember things about their lives to ask them about them! I've seen her serve other people and barely a word is said between them, but with me she seems really keen to speak

 

You'd be surprised memory in that situation is amazing so yeah it's a tricky one. Some shop people and particularly pharmacy l notice too like to build the friendly thing or enjoy certain customers too so it's a fine line and they can just be so damn nice as part of their job too. People around, only a few seconds to feel it out, tough one. Times like that you'd kinda wish she was one of these really bold types that somehow still manage to slip in cheeky not so subtle hints anywhere anytime so you've got more to go on eh.

Rock and a hard place man , maybe you could bump into her leaving work haha, but at anyrate , unfortunately l'd think there's only one way to find out , could go either which way.

 

Edited November 21, 2020 by Chilli

[Lotsgoingon]

At my local pharmacy, where I got for odd an ends, I know several women on the night shift who I banter with. Have even hugged one. They are super friendly, they make fun of me for coming in late. 

I don't think they have the slightest interest in me or me in them.

Same with my local cafe (now open only for pickup). I talk to all the women baristas there. They know my name and I know there's. You would probably pick up some flirtatious energy, but really it's enthusiastic outgoing energy--on their part and mine. 

If you assume every time a woman is super-friendly to you, it really puts women in a bad spot, because they feel like just remembering someone's name is going to lead that person to think they want to date them. 

In anything, asking about someone's kids is a way to put a little distance out there, to say I'm not flirting. If I were a worker, that's what I would ask a woman to slyly indicate I'm NOT interested in them romantically.  If she were flirting she wouldn't care one wit about your children and wouldn't ask about them. I ask one of my doctor's about her husband (only because she mentioned that he's an exercising fanatic) as a way of establishing that I'm NOT flirting with her. 

Here's a good guideline.  If there is some real chemistry, it would be harder to not ask her out than to ask her out. Meaning the conversation would just go towards "let's get together sometime." Unless you hear word like that out of her mouth, 99.999 percent chance, she has no interest in you other than you are a friendly customer.

This woman most likely likes you as a customer. It's not even clear she likes you as a human being outside of being a customer, let alone that she likes you as a potential romantic interest.

 

[Trail Blazer]

This girl does sound like she somewhat digs you.  But whether that's an invitation to ask her for coffee, who knows?  Men can often misread signs of advances women give off.  

I don't want to sound bad, but is there a possibility that she likes you in the pity sense?  As in, would she see you as the kind of guy she'd love to friendzone?  But to date... ? 

You may have a happy demeanor which she's naturally drawn to, however, that might not be sexual attraction.  She might see you as a bot of a "battler" - but loveable in a platonic manner.

It's hard to say yes or no here.  Just go with your gut, bro.  What have you got to lose?  Other than making it quite awkward to go back to that drug store if she declines your advances.

[Foxhall]

Id say you have a 50/50 chance of having a coffee with her,

anything more probably unlikely but no harm in trying!

[peach302]

3 hours ago, Brokendad said:

Hello. Some of you may have seen my other posts from a few months back about my break down of marriage/child custody issues, but this is slightly different!

Basically, I have a couple of medical conditions which means I require regular medications. When I go to collect them from my local pharmacy, there is a girl that works in there who is always really friendly and kind. If she is serving me, she always makes a point of having a little conversation with me, asks about my children etc. If I go in and get served by someone else, as soon as they ask for my name and I say my name, this girl will straight away call out and say hello to me etc. She must serve hundreds of people (the pharmacy is in a supermarket) so for her to remember my name and to remember things about me is quite surprising. I'd really like to ask this girl out for a drink or whatever, but I don't know how too! Also, because the pharmacy is in the middle of a busy supermarket, there's no way I could ever stroke up the courage to ask her! Is there any advice any of you could give me?! I went in there this evening to pick some bits up, but her colleague served me, but again, as soon as I said my name, she turned around and jokingly asked "what do you want now?" And asked me how I am and how my girls are etc. I'd really like to chat to her, even if it was just as friends, but because I'm so nervous etc, I don't know how to ask her!

Just go for it..when she serves you next..strike up a convo and slide that in. 

However  i do agree that it could be friendliness on her part. But you never know! 

[schlumpy]

She's knows your full name? Do you know hers?

See if she accepts you addressing her by her first name. It's one step towards familiarity and it lets her know you are also paying attention.

[mark clemson]

You aren't even divorced yet. I'm sorry, but this has "rebound" and "grasping at whatever's available" written all over it. I don't blame you or anything and maybe this will end up being the great love story that your marriage unfortunately wasn't, but I think you should consider whether there's a wiser path you could be taking here (namely, processing your emotions, getting fully "in tune" with yourself, possibly getting some therapy to help with all that, and then moving on from a place of self confidence and greater emotional stability).

It seems like right now you are attempting to just throw yourself into relationships. Consider asking yourself why that is. Plenty of people are fine with a six month break from dating to process things.

Edited November 22, 2020 by mark clemson

[Ellener]

I think such people, who take the time to create community around them, are heaven-sent in these sad difficult times @Brokendad

You should probably finalise your divorce before asking people out? But you can enjoy the attention and pleasantries meantime! 

 

 

[Miss Spider]

12 minutes ago, Ellener said:

I think such people, who take the time to create community around them, are heaven-sent in these sad difficult times @Brokendad

You should probably finalise your divorce before asking people out? But you can enjoy the attention and pleasantries meantime! 

 

 

Yep. I consider this good ethics. To remember somebody’s name and to make them feel special is going above and beyond and a very cool thing to do, indeed. I always try my best to do it when I can. You never know the difference that you are making in someone’s day

Edited November 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[LivingWaterPlease]

I agree that you should wait until you're divorced to ask anyone at all out.

But, after you're divorced why not say something like, "You're so friendly and downright adorable! Bet you get asked out by customers all the time!" Then check out her reaction to see if she seems flirty or interested. After you say that, see how she acts the next time you come in. If she's not interested in you she'll be more distant. If she is interested she'll be the same or a little warmer.

After that if she's kept her friendly attitude you could say something like. "You're so much fun (you're so kind and caring, or whatever you want to compliment her with)! Why not let's grab a cup of coffee just to have a little chat sometime?"

If you need more suggestions I'll be glad to think some up!
 

[DarrenB]

I don't want to be that buzzkill and all, but... It's actually really easy and simple to build extensive customer rapport, especially here in the UK. Plus if you regularly go for medications/repeat prescriptions frequently (most of which you obtain on a weekly if not more regular basis) it's quite easy to remember you - and as another user has said, if you have a slightly different persona and character to others, you'll typically stand out more anyway. Also noting, here in the UK most medication will have either your last or full name written on the medication. Again, I don't want to be a buzzkill, but I'm just being logical so you understand the correct intentions instead of overreacting and taking a kind gesture the wrong way.

As much as asking her out or whatever might not necessarily cause any genuine harm, I don't think you should be using it as a coping mechanism due to your previous dilemmas involving your wife (or ex wife if you've now divorced). However, if you do proceed I recommend you're in an emotionally and mentally stable state of mind, otherwise you're going to jeopardise something else before it has even started. 

I'm sure it must be a terrible feeling to have gone through what you had endured the past 20+ months, but is this really what you need right now?

[Pumaza]

Good she nice to you.But its part of her job. Some shops or neighbourhoods they are like this.Or if you come often they may remember your name.

 

It doesnt have to mean she into you .

She may do that as her job.

 

But if you like her,you can start small talk when you go get your meds, see if she even into anything like that.

But ...i see in comments you still married?Then you shouldnt involve a new person in your situation.Most girls want a single guy.

[Wiseman2]

Worst that could happen? She declines.

You are allowed to have female friends until your divorce is final. You don't have to be a monk until then. All you do need to do is be honest with others.

Don't think of it as a date, think of it as a cup of coffee.

[peach302]

On 11/22/2020 at 8:20 AM, DarrenB said:

I don't want to be that buzzkill and all, but... It's actually really easy and simple to build extensive customer rapport, especially here in the UK. Plus if you regularly go for medications/repeat prescriptions frequently (most of which you obtain on a weekly if not more regular basis) it's quite easy to remember you - and as another user has said, if you have a slightly different persona and character to others, you'll typically stand out more anyway. Also noting, here in the UK most medication will have either your last or full name written on the medication. Again, I don't want to be a buzzkill, but I'm just being logical so you understand the correct intentions instead of overreacting and taking a kind gesture the wrong way.

As much as asking her out or whatever might not necessarily cause any genuine harm, I don't think you should be using it as a coping mechanism due to your previous dilemmas involving your wife (or ex wife if you've now divorced). However, if you do proceed I recommend you're in an emotionally and mentally stable state of mind, otherwise you're going to jeopardise something else before it has even started. 

I'm sure it must be a terrible feeling to have gone through what you had endured the past 20+ months, but is this really what you need right now?

I agree with this.

If someone attends a place as regularly as OP it won't be difficult to remember him. And she's probably being friendly. 

 

[smackie9]

Sorry but my experience: I hated it when guys asked me out while I was at work. Awkward and embarrassing. There's a time and place, work isn't one of them. BUT fill your boots, and see what happens if you choose to.

[Penguin_hugs]

I'm a pharmacist, when I worked in community I used to know so many patients by name and little snippets about them- even moving to work in a hospital on a ward I still recognise my more frequent attenders. Our job involves checking really small details- so we are pretty good with names and faces! 

Just be aware- if she turns you down- it could be down to patient- healthcare professional rules. As a pharmacist- I could never date a patient etc- it is against my registration policy. However, it sounds more like she is a healthcare assistant- so that may be possible. 

[Miss Spider]

I hated it when guys flirted with me or asked me out at work. I sort of built up a shield against it. It’s sad, but I know that being as friendly to men as I am women gives a lot of men a green light. It puts me in the awkward position of having to decline them.  But it isn’t against the law to ask her out. 

Edited November 23, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes