Ruby Slippers Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 OMG, I'm so sorry. Intimacy issues are NO excuse for cheating and potentially exposing you to STDs. He could have worked on it or left. Only selfish cowards cheat. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 Him and l used protection without fail. I'm not fully menopaused and not allowed to pills. I'm not too worried. I've seen pictures of these women and they are ...ugly. not attractive at all. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) I'm so sorry, Gaeta. It's really hard to see this happen to you after reading your posts of what you believed to be your happiness with him. I can only imagine what you must be going through. I'm glad you discovered it, at least, rather than to go on spending time with him while he continues to act out behind your back. Edited November 22, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 They say most of the time men cheat down... Not saying it wouldn’t suck if they cheated with a baddie... just be slightly more understandable 😟 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 He said his 1st wife cheated on him and he didn't leave her for that. The way he talks it's like yes cheating is bad and it hurts but it's not a reason to split when we love each other....it's like he's from another planet! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 10 minutes ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said: They say most of the time men cheat down... Not saying it wouldn’t suck if they cheated with a baddie... just be slightly more understandable 😟 Interesting. I'm reading men cheat down cause they don't want another wife, they want a piece on the side so these less attractive women are easier to catch. Also tonight in one of his calls he was saying something l could not comprehend but l do now, he said l had no idea how much he put into making me fall for him. (You'd think if l were a lot of work he would think twice before risking it) Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 I'm sorry this happened to you but I have to ask. Was he asking you to be intimate and you turned him down over and over. did this happen to the last guy? I ask because men are pretty simple creatures . feed us. don't nag and have sex with us and were happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Yep. He didn’t want another ‘wifey’. He wanted sex/validation objects.He’s a sad man. Edited November 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said: I've been in a few long term relationships... not many, but I would leave if I was turned down for sex repeatedly. I have left quite a few short term relationships (2 years or less) when sex was denied or used to attempt manipulate me. Leaving would have been the "honorable" thing to do. Had the boyfriend broken up with Gaeta and then went on his sex spree, that would have been more acceptable. Instead, he cheated and tried to stay. 8 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 7 minutes ago, ajequals said: did this happen to the last guy? No, l was younger and full of energy when l was with the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 10 minutes ago, ajequals said: men are pretty simple creatures . feed us. don't nag and have sex with us and were happy. Oh yea because women who cook, clean, and freaky sex with their men every time they want it never get cheated on. Wait what? She may have rejected him, but he chose to stay and cheat. He could’ve left or even given her an ultimatum. Ultimately, he wanted to have his cake and to eat it too. Edited November 22, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 10 Link to post Share on other sites
gamon Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said: I would leave if I was turned down for sex repeatedly. You're way out of line. Leaving is a lot different from cheating. Edited November 22, 2020 by gamon 10 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 I felt bad for being tired and overwhelmed with life. Instead of telling me he was at the end of his rope he chose to tell me he loved me enough to wait as long as it take and to not worry. Link to post Share on other sites
ThereSheGoes Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Jesus Christ. FIVE?! In a MONTH??? There is NOTHING he could ever say to explain that. Ever. I don't care if sex was no longer happening, that is NEVER an excuse. Selfish. Point blank, selfish. How dare he. I am so so SO sorry. If you need someone to cuss his ass out, I extend my services. I get really colorful, and have made military men blush in shock. Edited November 26, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Language. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, poppyfields said: I'm thinking now that you must enjoy shocking people. I'm convinced of it now. It's just getting too obvious. @Gaeta I hope you will ignore, this is NOT your fault, lord! Men (people) with integrity do not cheat! Not like that, he almost sounds like some sort of sex addict, five different women in less than two months? I agree that people with integrity don't cheat. Having said that, whilst a lack of intimacy is no excuse, it is certainly a reason why not just men, but people, cheat who otherwise wouldn't have. However, if this fellow had any sort of decency, he would not have acted on his impulses and instead continued to try and work through it the issues. When all avenues are exhausted and no desirable outcome can be achieved, then it's best for both parties to cut ties and go their seperate ways. At least then there's no huge surprises. Whilst I agree with you that it's certainly not OP's fault that she was cheated on, and I do feel for her, there's certainly a lesson to be learned for every person with the low sex drive; sticking one's head in the sand will invariably cause huge problems that will manifest in all kinds of ways, depending on the each individual person and couple. Edited November 22, 2020 by Trail Blazer 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 5 minutes ago, ThereSheGoes said: If you need someone to cuss his ass out, I extend my services. I get really colorful, and have made military men blush in shock. My brother is going to kill him. Big guy, ex-biker., they grew into friends and planned on getting in business together. He is not only hurting me, he will hurt my entire family and my daughter who adored him. What an arshole 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 8 minutes ago, poppyfields said: I mean Gaeta is hurting, can you not see that? She is also probably asking herself "why did this happen??" Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: She is also probably asking herself "why did this happen??" Can l really trust him when he said he started doing this in October...he may have done this all our relationship Edited November 22, 2020 by Gaeta 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Gaeta, what I find interesting is that now, since he got caught, he is suggesting therapy. What a load of BS! Why did he not suggest therapy instead of making the conscious choice to go out and cheat?!! I am not buying that it was your lack of sex drive, or being too busy with your new daughter, or not giving him enough attention, or you experiencing menopause, there were alternatives to cheating that any human being with even an ounce of decency would have suggested. I think he simply lacks character, honesty and integrity, what he did was the most despicable thing a man, a partner, could do. I am sorry you so did not deserve this. Please stay strong!!! Edited November 22, 2020 by poppyfields 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 I only saw September and October bills. Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Gaeta said: Can l really trust him when he said he started doing this in October...he may have done this all our relationship That's what I was thinking but didn't want to say it. Edited November 22, 2020 by poppyfields 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Just now, Gaeta said: ...he may have dine this all our relationship I guess it is possible... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 I think he did. About 2 years ago his ex-wife called me super mad because he could not make the trip oversea for their daughter's confirmation. She wanted to telk me what a bad man he was, she even called his boss. At the end of that phone call she told me to watch myself cause he has several women i'm not the only one. When l told him this he told me she was just bitter and looking to make trouble and when could he possibly cheat he's always with me. So yes, my bet he was always like that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) How long has he had WhatsApp? I get sketch vibes from that app unless you don’t have free minutes or need to talk to people overseas Edited November 26, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed reference to deleted comment. Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 28 minutes ago, Gaeta said: I felt bad for being tired and overwhelmed with life. Instead of telling me he was at the end of his rope he chose to tell me he loved me enough to wait as long as it take and to not worry. This is very bad. His willingness/ability to communicate how he was feeling is way off. I dare say he really didn't want to break up, but was struggling with his carnal instincts and genuinely thought he wouldn't get caught. I'm so very sorry you've gone through this. As you've previously stated, he hasn't just hurt you, but your family, too. Your brother is rightfully furious. Just be sure to remind your brother that violence isn't the answer, though. An assult charge on top of everything else would be the undesirable icing on the cake in an already awful situation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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