Should I see a doctor about an eating disorder?

[ps118972]

I’ve never been to a doctor about my mental health. I’m just scared and feel embarrassed. 
i know I suffer serverly on the mental illness side of things. I regularly self harm, have suicidal thoughts. I have panic attacks every single night, any my mood fluctuates. Im either very high or very very very low. It’s been like this for a long time. A lot of it is PTSD, body image, scared of men due to past experiences, childhood trauma, and a lot of other stuff so etc.

last year i tried picking myself up and it did work. I committed myself to the gym, was on a good diet and my body was perfect. This year I’ve had a horrible year. Some stuff happened in my personal life which literally put an anchor on my ankle and sunk me into the ocean. I started self harming again my suicidal thoughts have been worse than ever. I’ve lost so much weight, all my progress I made. I feel so horrible about the way i look.

one thing I’m unsure anout it my relationship with food. I cant eat it sometimes. Or i dont finish it. I dont have an appetite. Looking at food sometimes makes me sick. If i’m eating sometimes, I feel sick. I start crying when I’m chewing because I’m scared to swallow it. Ive had thoughts about puking my food up, i havent done this but I’ve wanted to many times. I’m so unsure about what to do, help wise. Im embarrassed 

[Wiseman2]

Yes see a physician. Why be suicidal and suffer alone?

Do mood disorders run in the family? How old are you?

There's plenty of medical help for you as well as a lot of supportive therapy.

[FMW]

Google "help for eating disorders" and you'll find a lot of options out there.  

Most of us have some kind of issue we could use help with, you're not alone.  Just googling as I mentioned will make that clear and hopefully help you not feel the fear and embarrassment.  

[Pumaza]

Sure,no need to be ashamed or scared.

Because a doctor know for years about this stuff and has spoken with many who had this issues.

Just make your appointment and let your doctor know that you are scared to ,to talk about it.

Your doctor can guide you true the steps you need to take for help.

And know,all problems got a solution.You are not the only one. And you can get true it.😊👌🏽🌻🌻🌻🥳And there is help.

And seek God in prayers,he is a good freind also in times of need😊🌴