notyouraveragebabe Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 How do you guys feel about dating a woman who is successful in her career, attractive, fit body, own beach house, nice car, a lot of friends/family and well traveled? Friends have told me guys maybe feel intimidated by me, this I don't believe is true. How do you feel about this? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 What's your personality like when it comes to those achievements? Are you humble or proud? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author notyouraveragebabe Posted November 22, 2020 Author Share Posted November 22, 2020 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: What's your personality like when it comes to those achievements? Are you humble or proud? I would say humble. I grew up very poor, so I express that I worked hard for my achievements, but never brag about it. So I wonder if these men think I am expensive to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 What I care about is a good personality and somebody who makes a good mate. If that is wrapped in a successful career and achievements it's even better. I even say that she should proud of them because anybody who worked hard should be proud. That being said most of the time when women claim that men are intimidated because they are too strong and independent it is because of a terrible personality. It is because they want an antagonistic instead of an equal relationship. Statistically educated and successful women actually marry more often and divorce less and from what I notice tend to have happier marriages. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 Woggle you make a good point about being proud of achievements. I now think I worded my question badly. I was thinking more along the lines of boastful when I wrote it. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) Men are all different. Like women they have different thought processes, dating "styles", moral views, attitudes towards relationships, etc, etc. Thinking there is consistency is a trap in a way. I think some men would be intimidated. Others might wonder if they should get emotionally connected to you since you have SO much independence and options that you could walk away any time. Others might feel they "should" be the provider and so might shy away. Some men who are less successful in their careers might worry that a richer, "more alpha" male from your work/social set might come along and steal you away. Greener pastures, etc... Other men would soak it up. Some might want you "for keeps" while others might want to "seize the day" with you but not worry too much about the future etc. IMO you need to find a man who wants what you have to offer and has a "secure" attachment style. Edited November 22, 2020 by mark clemson 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, notyouraveragebabe said: . I grew up very poor, All this doesn't matter. They may be more put off by social climbing and nouveau-riche mentally. Don't be a walking resume or bank statement. No one is"intimidated", they're either interested...or not Edited November 22, 2020 by Wiseman2 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 22, 2020 Share Posted November 22, 2020 I'm not sure that men being intimidated is really a thing. Rather, I think it's a 'catch all' comment used by women who want to make their high flyer friend feel better. I would guess the reasons are closer to one of the following: doesn't vibe with her high achieving woman talks far too much about her achievements and wonderful events she's attended (you say you're humble, so probably not you) lack of common ideas or approaches to life he can't afford the lifestyle which the woman is used to her work-life balance doesn't match his 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 21 hours ago, basil67 said: Woggle you make a good point about being proud of achievements. I now think I worded my question badly. I was thinking more along the lines of boastful when I wrote it. It's not even boastful. It has very little to with a woman's achievements. It is a small percentage of women who say this but there are some who tell men all the time how not needed we are because women can make their own money. Nobody man or woman wants to feel disposable in a relationship and like their mate can take or leave them but that is what male bashers always tell us so of course men take it to heart. I don't think it is a healthy way for a man to approach relationships but I also don't think it is healthy to tell men that are only worth is as a walking wallet or else women have no use for us. Having said all this there are plenty of successful women who don't give off these vibes and do well in their love lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 I think they're only intimidated if you're a lot more accomplished than they are and they think you can easily find a man on your level. Men on a similar level usually love it. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 @Woggle radical feminists who don't want men aren't dating. They aren't part of this equation. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 3 minutes ago, basil67 said: @Woggle radical feminists who don't want men aren't dating. They aren't part of this equation. You would be surprised how many of them date men and marry them. On social media men are trash but they log off and get into bed beside trash as they like to say. Also their ideas still come into the national consciousness and some men do take it to heart. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Woggle said: You would be surprised how many of them date men and marry them. On social media men are trash but they log off and get into bed beside trash as they like to say. Also their ideas still come into the national consciousness and some men do take it to heart. Still, none of this is relevant to whether or not men are intimidated by successful women. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 2 minutes ago, basil67 said: Still, none of this is relevant to whether or not men are intimidated by successful women. The message that men are constantly told how much we are not needed is very relevant. It is a huge part why some men choose not to even bother with successful women. They feel that if she has her own stuff then what does she need him for. That is how a lot of men think deep down when dating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) I live in an area which is full of professional couples. If men are choosing not to bother with successful, professional women, how do all the professional woman I know end up married? Edited November 23, 2020 by basil67 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Building off of the previous comments, I don't think men are intimidated by a successful woman. I think men stay in relationships when they feel good being with that woman. Part of feeling good involves feeling respected and wanted and needed. Some (not all) successful woman probably have a hard time shutting off the persona required to be at the top of their game when they are away from work and aren't good at showing any evidence of need. Yes, most women can take care of themselves physically and economically. But for many of us life without a connection to men is lacking in flavor and color, and so if we're smart we learn to show that need and the respect for who they are and what they bring to our lives. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 18 minutes ago, basil67 said: I live in an area which is full of professional couples. If men are choosing not to bother with successful, professional women, how do all the professional woman I know end up married? I would bet most of those women don't make a point of telling men they are not needed. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Just now, Woggle said: I would bet most of those women don't make a point of telling men they are not needed. Indeed....they don't think this way at all. Men who have self confidence know that they have more to offer than simply being a wallet to pay for things, and the women they marry know this too. Honestly, I think most men are smarter than you give them credit for. They know that the rantings on Twitter fringes are just rubbish and not worth their time to read, let alone take seriously. Just as most women don't bother reading or taking seriously the fringe men's movements. I doubt my husband even knows that the twitter fringes exist, and if he does know, he'd give it the attention it deserves 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Woggle said: I would bet most of those women don't make a point of telling men they are not needed. Sorry, but other than rhetoric, no one talks like this. I mean, I'll say rhetorically to young women I know that "you don't need a man"--to feel good about yourself. But I'd say the same thing to go a guy. Everybody is basically looking for a relationship. Men, women, rich, poor and all in between. Edited November 23, 2020 by Lotsgoingon 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 (edited) Unfortunately there are so many terms invented for "not that interested". Intimidated, commitmentphobia, confused, hurting, etc...are just a few. Did you know that the vice president elect's spouse will have the title "Second Gentleman"? Nothing political here just pointing out what nonsense it is to think "intimidated" by success is an explanation. First of all a collection of material things is not everyone's definition of success, as stated above. For some it's achievement or leaving thier mark in history. Most highly successful women are happily married. Nobel laureates, Ruth Ginsburg and the list goes on. You'll find a match when prejudices depart your mindset. Edited November 23, 2020 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 I never felt intimidated by succesful women. Although I may not necesarily agree with all the items in your list as required for being "succesful". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MrPlop Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 Men are not intimidated by successful women, men don't like narcissistic women as much as women don't like narcissistic men. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted November 23, 2020 Share Posted November 23, 2020 I think men generally have no issues witht that.If you are single ita kind of normal that you have those things that you got by yourself true hard work. But it may be the way some of those women act and talk that annoys men. Saying and acting like i dont need no man,i can pay my bills myself, And not allow them to be needed in those womens life. And feel like they can be men in their lives. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I think all really successful people are intimidating once it reaches a certain point. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 On 11/21/2020 at 8:54 PM, notyouraveragebabe said: Friends have told me guys maybe feel intimidated by me, this I don't believe is true. How do you feel about this? I am a successful woman. Some men will be intimidated. You don't want to date them anyway. The right guy won't have a problem. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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