hippychick3 Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 I have never encountered this during the time I was dating. I have a post graduate degree, a successful job, my own house and car, and good friendships. I am well traveled and well read. These traits were all appreciated and admired by the men I dated (including my fiancé). I honestly only dated men who were intelligent, successful, and confident in themselves which would give them no reason to feel intimidated by me. And I came across as open minded, easy going, humble, happy, and positive... not said out of conceit but truly how I have been told I presented myself on the dates. No woman should devalue herself or her achievements. A good quality man will appreciate that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Fair Posted December 1, 2020 Share Posted December 1, 2020 If your success allows you to move in circles with other successful people this won't be a problem. The problem arises when a woman is more successful than a man. Usually. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Couples tend to match up who have the same education, looks, backgrounds and religion. The more things they have in common the longer the relationship lasts...in general 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 3 hours ago, hippychick3 said: A good quality man will appreciate that. Good “quality” people are extremely hard to find hc3 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 I think men are intimidated by a successful woman if they are not successful themselves, or if the woman's success will give her undue power in a relationship. I consider myself successful. I made decent money, and had a nice house and cars in my name with zero debt before age 30....in spite of a terrible economy. My husband appreciates my work ethic, lets me do what I want, and has actually enabled me to succeed further. But he's not intimidated - he's got his own thing going on, and my adventures pose no threat to him nor can I possess an illegitimate measure of authority over him. We're appropriately matched. I believe that most of the time, it is better to avoid a relationship where there's a large gap in wealth/power/prestige. Old wealthy dude marrying a young girl with little wealth, for example. You get inequality and the potential for ill treatment that way, as the lesser partner becomes dependent and unable to fend for themselves or establish boundaries. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hippychick3 Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 14 hours ago, alphamale said: Good “quality” people are extremely hard to find hc3 I think it depends where you’re looking. I live close to a large city, so there is a larger pool of men to choose from here. Yes, there were a few jerks I met during those 8 months of dating. But, I really did meet several “good quality” men during that time. Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 On 11/23/2020 at 5:12 PM, MrPlop said: Men are not intimidated by successful women, men don't like narcissistic women as much as women don't like narcissistic men. Mrplop got it. Usually when a beautiful woman thinks men are intimidated, it's because she's a brat and has a bad attitude. More often than not, the guys are not intimidated, they simply don't like her. I personally have no problem with my sugar-mama! Link to post Share on other sites
Johnjohnson2017 Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 Generally, guy gets intimidated by how many guy friends/attention you get from men. How would they know how successful you are in your career if you don't tell them? Be down to earth, smile, laugh, be attentive and you won't scare them away. If you are too serious, have a mean look, have too much masculine energy, they will stay away. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 2, 2020 Share Posted December 2, 2020 6 minutes ago, Johnjohnson2017 said: If you are too serious, have a mean look, have too much masculine energy, they will stay away. There's a word for this phenomenon: "RBF is a facial expression that unintentionally appears as if a person is angry, annoyed, irritated, or contemptuous, particularly when the individual is relaxed, resting or not expressing any particular emotion." Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 On 11/22/2020 at 3:47 AM, basil67 said: I'm not sure that men being intimidated is really a thing. Rather, I think it's a 'catch all' comment used by women who want to make their high flyer friend feel better. I would guess the reasons are closer to one of the following: doesn't vibe with her high achieving woman talks far too much about her achievements and wonderful events she's attended (you say you're humble, so probably not you) lack of common ideas or approaches to life he can't afford the lifestyle which the woman is used to her work-life balance doesn't match his This. I've never had a man be put off because of my career, education, or home ownership. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 (edited) This is often used as the scapegoat. A lot more glaringly unattractive characteristics that should probably be ruled out first. Edited December 6, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 It's all in how you present this info and yourself and jmo but there is no reason to be telling a new guy you just met or started dating that you own a beach home or what your salary is. If he asks what you do for a living, tell him but keep away from discussions re your salary or assets. If you continue dating, these things will eventually come out. Obviously he will see how fit and beautiful you are, but if you present yourself as down to earth and don't brag how often you work out etc, any secure red-blooded man won't have a problem with it in my experience. Flip the script: There it not much worse than some new guy I just met discussing his homes, cars, $$$, that he works out twice a day, blech! Immediate next for me. I dont think men are that much different. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted December 6, 2020 Share Posted December 6, 2020 On 11/22/2020 at 6:47 PM, basil67 said: @Woggle radical feminists who don't want men aren't dating. They aren't part of this equation. Basil be careful. Your post is incendiary because you are disparaging a group of women you have no intimate, personal experience with since you are neither a feminist or a woman. And if you are a woman, are you a feminist? Your post doesn't address the OP's initial question either. OP, yes, as a woman I can attest to your question that men are intimidated by women who accomplish a lot. This has been a problem in the human race since both genders existed. On 11/21/2020 at 7:54 PM, notyouraveragebabe said: How do you guys feel about dating a woman who is successful in her career, attractive, fit body, own beach house, nice car, a lot of friends/family and well traveled? Friends have told me guys maybe feel intimidated by me, this I don't believe is true. How do you feel about this? I have met financially well off men but as soon as I tell them about my education background and interests, their interest level suddenly drops off to zero. These men couldn't handle everything I've accomplished in my life, and by rejecting me, thought they were indirectly punishing me for my accomplishments, by withholding their interest in me. Turns out, loss is on them. The WRONG guys are intimidated by you. The compatible guys will not be intimidated by you. Look at our former president's first lady. Hello, she's just as accomplished as he is. They are truly compatible and they have a lovely family together and support each other. You need to stop dwelling on the guys who reject you, as somehow being men who reflect your true value to the world. That's not true at all. Do not put your value or worth externally on how people -- especially men -- treat you. If they reject you, that's on them. THEY feel inferior because of themselves and their own self-talk; not because of who you are. Until you make that separation, you will continue to be a victim in your self-fulfilling prophecy that men who reject you for your accomplishments are somehow accurately a reflection of your inner self worth and value. That is a sign of your own low self esteem. Not about the guys. It's about you and how you feel about yourself; insecure, low self esteem. Or, you wouldn't be bothered by men who reject you for your successes. Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Watercolors said: The WRONG guys are intimidated by you. The compatible guys will not be intimidated by you. You are quite right 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Uruktopi Posted December 7, 2020 Share Posted December 7, 2020 May be the history of my relationships haves only a personal scope. But anyway.... I had three important partnerships. In all of them, the woman at my side was, by her own merits, a brilliant one, with also bold, outstanding achievements on her own carreers and interests. In only one of them, the end of the relationship was somehow related to this. As she felt that "following her dreams" (full time demanding ones) collided with also having a family. So she left us by her choice. The other two women are / were successful professionals (a systems engineer and a med doctor / psychologist). I can confidently say that I was never "intimidated" in any way by this, but felt proud of those women. Link to post Share on other sites
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