Prevalence of infidelity

[lifeoflies]

On 11/22/2020 at 7:15 AM, schlumpy said:

I only have so much energy to put into a relationship and many times it's barely enough to make it work. I can't imagine trying to woo multiple women at the same time. I would be opening myself to constant drama and conflict and more than likely would waste years of my life with nothing to show for it.

I don't need the attention of a hundred women. One or two will suffice as long as it's one at a time.

Amen brother. One thing most women don’t understand is that being in relationships isn’t in a man’s comfort zone the way it is for women. We’re not good at it.  We’re interested in sex. It’s the primary reason men pursue women. 

[smackie9]

wow nice try twisting his post like that. Not fair the way you totally took away the meaning of it.....Schlumpy is a stand up guy.

Edited November 26, 2020 by smackie9

[Ruby_Red]

I find relationships exhausting, and I’m not too keen on sex either, so I prefer to be single. Having an open relationship would be even more exhausting, so no thanks. I have always liked sex more in the beginning of a relationship, but it wears off and gets boring, and at some point it’s just one more thing to do. As a woman, I can totally live without. I admit this has changed a little bit, gradually over the years, but still ..... never been super sexual ..... 
 

But I’m also not a man, and I understand that most men absolutely NEED sexual relief, and - if their partner is not willing - masturbation is often not enough. So there is cheating in many relationships, and many cheaters will feel justified (for this reason or that reason), or at least they’ll act like they did it for a “good reason”, once caught. 
 

I have also noticed that in the 40+ age group more men want to be in relationships, while women are more independent, which is weird. If men are that sexually oriented - and most guys also like variety and frequency - why not stay single and explore, rather than be in a relationship and cheat? It sounds so exhausting...... (I agree with @schlumpyhere)

[Cookiesandough]

2 hours ago, Ruby_Red said:

I find relationships exhausting, and I’m not too keen on sex either, so I prefer to be single. Having an open relationship would be even more exhausting, so no thanks. I have always liked sex more in the beginning of a relationship, but it wears off and gets boring, and at some point it’s just one more thing to do. As a woman, I can totally live without. I admit this has changed a little bit, gradually over the years, but still ..... never been super sexual ..... 
 

But I’m also not a man, and I understand that most men absolutely NEED sexual relief, and - if their partner is not willing - masturbation is often not enough. So there is cheating in many relationships, and many cheaters will feel justified (for this reason or that reason), or at least they’ll act like they did it for a “good reason”, once caught. 
 

I have also noticed that in the 40+ age group more men want to be in relationships, while women are more independent, which is weird. If men are that sexually oriented - and most guys also like variety and frequency - why not stay single and explore, rather than be in a relationship and cheat? It sounds so exhausting...... (I agree with @schlumpyhere)

II believe it is because men in relationships do get sex more frequently. Unlike single men who have to go out and search for it, provided they are in a relationship with a woman who has a matching sex drive or is willing to compromise, they get it ‘on tap.’ This is in addition to all of the other benefits, emotional or otherwise, that might come with having a steady partner. Many people have needs that are better met in romantic relationships, even if they desire another person. They see a loophole in getting all of that by cheating. 

Edited November 26, 2020 by Shortskirtslonglashes

[Gaeta]

On 11/22/2020 at 4:05 PM, Alpaca said:

I'm very sorry to hear that 😞. I certainly understand the disinclination to entertain another relationship. Initially, do you think there were signs you may have missed that might have acted as a warning for things to come or were you totally taken by surprise? 

Now that I am forced to look back and analyze what happened yes there were signs and unfortunately I did not pay attention or I dismissed them as him being silly. 

The first sign was he was protective of his phone and it was always on silence. There was periods of our life together he would hand me his phone freely and other times he was more secretive. He started working late on Saturdays. He would mention in conversation that men aren't monogamous, if a man doesn't have sex home he'll have no choice but to step outside the relationship, etc. When he said that I thought he wants to get a reaction out of me, he's a bit of a clown and likes to make us laugh or make us react. So I dismissed it. He told me a few times he would never leave me if I cheated. I should I caught on that too. 

No I was not completely taken by surprise as I've battled a very difficult menopause transition in the past 2 years and we probably had sex every 6 weeks or so and I knew he was growing frustrated. 

 

[Ruby_Red]

How are you doing, @Gaeta?

Your Thread was closed, and I’m wondering if you’ve discussed things further. 

[Gaeta]

2 hours ago, Ruby_Red said:

How are you doing, @Gaeta?

Your Thread was closed, and I’m wondering if you’ve discussed things further. 

Hello Ruby_Red, thank you for asking. I am good under the circumstances. I will pm you, I don't want to highjack OP's thread. 

[Alpacalia]

On 11/27/2020 at 3:21 AM, Gaeta said:

Now that I am forced to look back and analyze what happened yes there were signs and unfortunately I did not pay attention or I dismissed them as him being silly. 

The first sign was he was protective of his phone and it was always on silence. There was periods of our life together he would hand me his phone freely and other times he was more secretive. He started working late on Saturdays. He would mention in conversation that men aren't monogamous, if a man doesn't have sex home he'll have no choice but to step outside the relationship, etc. When he said that I thought he wants to get a reaction out of me, he's a bit of a clown and likes to make us laugh or make us react. So I dismissed it. He told me a few times he would never leave me if I cheated. I should I caught on that too. 

No I was not completely taken by surprise as I've battled a very difficult menopause transition in the past 2 years and we probably had sex every 6 weeks or so and I knew he was growing frustrated. 

 

It can be difficult to judge sometimes, especially through rose-colored glasses. 

Being overly protective of your phone and always keeping it on silence is definitely fishy.

In any event, I hope you're doing well.