Del Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 I have been married for 16 years now and since then my wife has had less and less interest in sex (2 times a month is fine for her). She is not a touchy feely person like myself. Hugging, touching is very important to me even if it doesn't led to sex. We have discussed our sex drives many times over the past 16 years, but never really gets any where. She always says it will get better, when... the kids are older, she has a better job, she's happier, she has more time... I was always the one to initiate, but now within the past few years I have felt that I am really tired and mentally upset that I get turned down 90% of the time. I am now at the point that I don't want to touch her knowing that I am not attracting her. I feel like a pervert pushing my-self on her. The worst thing is that she hasn't even noticed that I don't try any more. To me our marriage is on the rocks and to her everythings just peachy. I don't know what to think or do anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Tristram Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 That's being between a rock and a hard place. I say make a valient attempt to explain to her your needs. Try to make a compromise that is benificial to both parties. If she is unwilling your only options are to stay and be misrable or leave and find a woman who will make you happy. Of course there is cheating but that will only make things worse. Look at your situation from the outside and go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
MustB1 Posted October 13, 2005 Share Posted October 13, 2005 Quit talking and start doing something different. Send her sex filled emails , send her to a bar and then go pick her up, make reservtions at a nice restaurant that also happens to be a b&b and have a room ready with champange and strawberries. Get sitters, make your marriage your affair. You know, I have to say I hate that the sex life seems to be all about the wives saying yes or no, how truly degrading for all you men! Good lord. Let me talk to your wife!!! Where is she? Link to post Share on other sites
GuySimple Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Careful thinking that she feels everything is peachy. She may just not feel she is able to talk to you about what is bothering her. If you are getting frustrated with the lack of sex you may be vocalizing or behaving in a way that is counter to an understanding husband. She may withdraw and be afraid to say what’s bothering her for fear you will disagree. Make sense? You may want to consider getting to the root problem which may not be simply a sex drive thing at all. I would suggest talking about going to a councilor and be very understanding about it and what you may or may not hear. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted October 14, 2005 Share Posted October 14, 2005 Guy Simple is learning alot! He gave you some good advice there. Have you tried doing something nice for her and not expecting something in return?? In other words, do something nice for her and then don't insist on sex afterwards. She may feel like you're only nice to her to get sex! Link to post Share on other sites
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