Was it all a lie?

[Hoejamo09]

So my boyfriend and I became exclusive on December 21, 2019. He has 3 teenagers, and is recently divorced. He and I agreed that I should move in with him the end of September 2020. Up until this point we only had small things happen here and there involving Grindr (A gay hook-up app), that I had forgiven him for; or so I thought. In October, he took a pre-planned trip with his family to Colorado for his brothers wedding. When he returned, I noticed small things that sparked my paranoia. I've been hurt many times before so I notice the stupid small things. On Halloween, he gave me his phone to use his Samsung pay to gas up his daughters car, and I decided to put my paranoia to rest and snooped; that's when the gates where opened. I found E-mails dating back to December 23, 2019-yes, 2 days after we started exclusively dating. with the most recent E-mail having been days before, planning a hook-up in my boyfriends office for the week after Halloween. With finding this, I decided to snoop through his work phone and found that he had downloaded Grindr..again. He had conversations on there planning hook-ups while in Colorado and after he got back. I did confront him with the printed emails and screenshots of the Grindr conversations. His excuses ranged from "Liking the attention"-Mind you I'm a very affectionate and I gave him all of my attention. He also said that it was because it would be easier if I left because he hurt me instead of me hurting him and leaving. Can a relationship recover from one party having cheated basically throughout the entire relationship? I've tried to move on, but I have no desire to be intimate with him. Every time he makes a comment about "Commitment" I have to physically bite my tongue to keep from making low and petty comments it not having been important before. Any advice, tips, and wisdom are greatly appreciated! 

[Crazelnut]

Dude, run! Why on earth would you want to stay with a serial cheater? You can never trust him again. Dig up some self respect and dump him. 

[smackie9]

You are thinking too much about how things were before the paranoia sat in/discovery of infidelity. That's dust now, it's time to get away from the grips of a serial cheater...there is no moving forward.

Edited November 24, 2020 by smackie9

[kendahke]

15 hours ago, Hoejamo09 said:

Can a relationship recover from one party having cheated basically throughout the entire relationship?

Not without the daily killing of one's soul in order to stay.

Dude has a cheating disposition.  Remain at your own emotional peril.

[forlornrabbit]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would have to agree with the other's- it is time to bail. There is no signs of remorse from this man- you caught him before and forgave him and he is still exhibiting the same behavior.