Update on my bf and mother dilemna

[samsungxoxo]

Good evening people

I'm sure you're familiar with my situation regarding my bf and mother. If you don't remember, here is my previous post:

Apparently things are slightly getting better in the sense that my bf no longer wants to be someone that holds grudges and has forgiven all that wronged him and will no longer confront her on the past issues. However, he isn't forgiving for her or those that wronged him but for his own sanity. He decided to free himself from the anger and hurt. He believes in God too and holding grudges meant he didn't have God in his heart. His stance at this moment is that he'll respect whoever respects him and if her or anyone were to insult him right now at this moment, he'll reply back and tell them off. Note: forgiving doesn't mean forgetting and becoming friends right away

My mother has toned it down and has started talking positive about him. This was right after I've mentioned his good qualities and admitted to misrepresenting him in the past; I was partically responsible for not saying the whole truth about him (ex: he never told me ''I hate your mother'' and I once told her that in anger after she kept badmouthing him excessively; that was a lie) and she thought all he had was bad traits; I used to keep quiet about the good traits. Like him, she doesn't want to hold grudges nor anger; mainly due to the fact that she's on pills forever for her panic attacks and strong, negative impressions will affect her health. Secondly, she's now more into God too. She has told me to remind him of his b-day so she can wish him happy b-dayy. Suddenly she's into wanting to make peace with everyone and is starting to exaggerate on that too. This is where too good isn't good either. 

This is what I don't agree. He might think that would be too good to be true:

Her stance has been reduced to liking the person that makes me happy and loves me. She mentioned that if he marries and she sees that then he'll like/love him as a son. Suddenly she thinks they can one day be friends. I think that's still meddling. He is probably going to think this is too good to be true and feel uncomfortable around her. He still has bad memories after all and clearly isn't going to reciprocate. He might not even believe it either. My mother is now buying too much into soap operas and Hollywood Disney ending where someone treats you like garbage for years and then suddenly reconciles with that person in one day and they're good friends immediately. My father disagrees with that approach too. What do you think? If being too mean wasn't productive, if she overdoes it with niceness (even if it were sincere this time) isn't that also overdoing it too?

Edited November 25, 2020 by samsungxoxo

[Wiseman2]

Why are your parents this involved in every detail of your dating life?

Stop playing the role of the peacemaker. 

You are generating tremendous stress by forcing people on each other.

[samsungxoxo]

52 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Why are your parents this involved in every detail of your dating life?

Stop playing the role of the peacemaker. 

You are generating tremendous stress by forcing people on each other.

I'm still living with my parents but do want to eventually move out. My bf is the one that decided to let go off grudges. I didn't force that on him. He always believed in God. As for my mother, well she pretty much opened the topic by asking about how my relationship is going. It started as a random conversation. 

My father actually wants to stay out of this whole peacemaking scene.  When my mother was talking about this ''I'll treat him like a son'' part, my father walked by and changed the topic to my brother's school and food. He had this ''this is gibberish/nonsense'' expression on his face.

Edited November 25, 2020 by samsungxoxo