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Is she cheating. Suspicious

Mook77

By Mook77,
in Infidelity

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Mook77

Mook77

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If your spouse drops you off to work at 4and she's heading to schedule shift at 630 am and doesn't say anything and then you later see on the work portal that on that day she went in at ten am wouldn't you be suspicious.

if on another day you drop her off to work cause you are going in late yourself and pick her up in the evening but the same portal shows on that day she had requested a day off and it was granted wouldn't you be suspicious?

Not a matter of communication. It's a matter of gaps. You were not at work when you were supposed to be. 

 

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Narie

Narie

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I think at first she just wanted to make you jealous. Make her feel especial and give her attention..but maybe because you just ignored it or didn't gave her any warning not to do anything or stop it early... maybe she started to do something. 

Maybe you should start asking her... and let her know you are starting to feel something. 

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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11 hours ago, Mook77 said:

. You were not at work when you were supposed to be. 

Who is "you"? Who are you talking to?

Why aren't you talking to her about it? 

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princessaurora

princessaurora

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22 hours ago, Narie said:

I think at first she just wanted to make you jealous. Make her feel especial and give her attention..but maybe because you just ignored it or didn't gave her any warning not to do anything or stop it early... maybe she started to do something. 

Maybe you should start asking her... and let her know you are starting to feel something. 

This is my thought too. The way she was bragging about how much her boss liked her, let her use his fridge, give her vip treatment, and of course she had to tell her husband she was attracted to the guy. I think she was trying to instill in him she's still desirable and make him a little jealous. But now I don't know. Either she's doing something with someone else, or she wants to lead OP to believe she is. OP, I agree with Narie, it's time for ya'll to have a talk. 

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usa1ah

usa1ah

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Posted (edited)

I can see only one reason for her doing this. You know what it is. 

Edited by usa1ah
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colingrant

colingrant

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Posted (edited)

Just saying this as some parts of may be relative to the OP's situation. Years ago I had a fiancé' who was being pursued by an NBA player. Somehow she thought her telling me nearly each time we talked would do something to me of which I still can't quite understand many years later. It actually did do something though, but not what I think was intended. After qa few times of her bringing this back to me, I started to think she was intentionally or unintentionally subjugating me. Okay.... fine.

For me, although she never knew it, she was disrespecting me so greatly, that it was actually easy to immediately discontinue our relationship. I didn't tell her though. I just continued on and let her think the wedding was still on, etc. So, I started asking her how he and she were doing. Remember, as far as I'm concerned if she's having the balls to tell me of his interest and appear smitten by it, then she's not someone I would ever want as a wife. I loved the hell out of her and had been with her for 4 years. 

Eventually, without her knowledge I'd become indifferent towards her and began asking if she'd f'd him yet. This changed everything and turned the tables on her. She wasn't ready for it. at all.  She began getting irritated, then agitated then angry at me bringing it up. What it said to her was I didn't care and she was right. She wanted me to care and was possibly telling me in her own way that she could have any man and that I should be elated at having such a high quality woman at my side. BS...... That's not the type of woman I would remotely be interested in and in fact I was glad it happened as it opened my eyes to who she was. Make a long story short, I ghosted her which is a whole different story. 

 

Edited by colingrant
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Mook77

Mook77

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Look. I agree with y'all. At the same time I'm surprised why I'm the only one seeing an issue with time at work lapses.

One day I dropped her off to work. 

at 6 am..

But the computer she left on the other day said she had requested that day off and it was granted. There were no punches in or out on the time clock. And I did pick her up from work at 6pm that day. So all I'm doing is wondering if she wasn't working why did she go in

Two:

A day she dropped me in early and was headed to work by 6am. But the computer says she had previously requested that day to go in at ten am. And no she didn't go grocery shopping or Christmas shopping before you mention it as a possiblity. Neither did she have a doctor's appointment. 

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Narie

Narie

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9 hours ago, Mook77 said:

Look. I agree with y'all. At the same time I'm surprised why I'm the only one seeing an issue with time at work lapses.

One day I dropped her off to work. 

at 6 am..

But the computer she left on the other day said she had requested that day off and it was granted. There were no punches in or out on the time clock. And I did pick her up from work at 6pm that day. So all I'm doing is wondering if she wasn't working why did she go in

Two:

A day she dropped me in early and was headed to work by 6am. But the computer says she had previously requested that day to go in at ten am. And no she didn't go grocery shopping or Christmas shopping before you mention it as a possiblity. Neither did she have a doctor's appointment. 

Something must be going on now... you are right... it wasn't just few minutes of her idling. She was gone for hours, what was she doing.

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Wiseman2

Wiseman2

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Ok ,so you've collected all this information from snooping through her devices.

What are you going to talk to her about and what are you going to do about the alleged discrepancies?

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

The fact that you are checking her work time cards says this relationship is dead.  You have lost all trust -- maybe rightly or maybe you just can't trust -- but stop beating this dead horse already.  End things. 

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usa1ah

usa1ah

Posted
Posted (edited)
On 12/21/2020 at 10:02 AM, Mook77 said:

Look. I agree with y'all. At the same time I'm surprised why I'm the only one seeing an issue with time at work lapses.

One day I dropped her off to work. 

at 6 am..

But the computer she left on the other day said she had requested that day off and it was granted. There were no punches in or out on the time clock. And I did pick her up from work at 6pm that day. So all I'm doing is wondering if she wasn't working why did she go in

Two:

A day she dropped me in early and was headed to work by 6am. But the computer says she had previously requested that day to go in at ten am. And no she didn't go grocery shopping or Christmas shopping before you mention it as a possiblity. Neither did she have a doctor's appointment. 

She went in to meet up with who she spent the day with. She had you drop her off and pick her up so you wouldn’t ask questions. 

Edited by usa1ah
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petee

petee

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Mook

I think the times come to address your issues. You can come and discuss it all day here, but we know as much as you tell us. I get that it must be scary squaring up to something you don't want to be right about, but there is a good chance she is playing around. Your health, physical and mental are at risk, so be brave and get to the point with her.

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Mook77

Mook77

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Thank y'all. As I've checked further on her schedule with the clocking n clock  out punches I've noticed one thing and by the way her schedule is either 630 or 730 am to 6pm. 

Like three days I've either dropped her off to work or she has gone to work at regular time and it was my day off but, there are no clock in punches. 

other days she worked 730 am to 9 am. Another day worked from 730 am to noon. 

and still came home at 7pm

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Buffer

Buffer

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Posted

Nook you have the confront her with what you have got and what your suspicions are. You are just going in circles making yourself worse. 
Worst case is she is a terrible time manager but man she is stepping out. 
One day at a time. 
Buffer

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Mook77

Mook77

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18 minutes ago, Buffer said:

Nook you have the confront her with what you have got and what your suspicions are. You are just going in circles making yourself worse. 
Worst case is she is a terrible time manager but man she is stepping out. 
One day at a time. 
Buffer

I'm giving it a few more weeks of patience. Observing the work schedule punches online. 

There's no reason to work 7-9 am and come home at 7pm. 

There's no explanation as to why the clock in lunches say zero yet I stopped you off to work that day and picked you up. And it shows every time they punch in, lunch out for break, lunch back in from break and punch out at the end of the day. 

I did something crazy the other day we were having sex. I told her to tell me a fantasy of her n her boss .

I have her the scenario of me dropping her off but she wasn't on schedule etc. She narrated as we had sex how her n boss had sex at a motel.

So I'm putting a file.together. Y'all been really helpful on this site. 

So I dunno if she was just playing along or this was something that's happened.

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trident_2020

trident_2020

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She’ll say it’s an issue with the time clock software or some other lame excuse  and you will be no closer to finding the truth. You want facts then ask a friend to tail her or hire a PI or rent a car and follow her.

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petee

petee

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Mook, I'm not sure what you want us to say or do here. It's up to you to confront here, and the earlier the better. Giving us an hourly or daily update is not getting you anywhere, except giving her the time to fall in love and not want to try with you. 

Will you still be clocking her in and out in two months time? You need to act or accept that you can't act.

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princessaurora

princessaurora

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10 hours ago, Mook77 said:

other days she worked 730 am to 9 am. Another day worked from 730 am to noon. 

and still came home at 7pm

That's alot of time for her to do whatever it is she's doing and it may very well be cheating. If she's with this person for 6-9 hours, not only is she most likely having sex with them, but bonding as well. This does not bode well for you, mook, unless you want to open your marriage. In my opinion, you don't have 2 wks. You need to confront her now and stop making excuses. I cannot stress this enough. 

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Pottering About

Pottering About

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Mook 77, I would listen to princessaurora, she knows what she is talking about.

Quick question. Are you allowing an affair to develop so that you can get out of the relationship as the good guy? Otherwise, what other reason do you have for this prevarication?

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Poutrew

Poutrew

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Put a GPS tracker in the car. When she drops you off, you can then see where exactly she goes when she tells you she was 'working'.   Just thinkin' outside the box here... could she have a 2nd job so she can earn some extra 'secret' cash behind you back...? Hopefully it's not as a call girl.... 😬

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MickeyBill

MickeyBill

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What does her paycheck reflect if she is working 2 hours a day and away form home for 9?

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