Which flirtations are acceptable among friends of opposite sex who are in relationships with other people

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, EvangelineVincent said:

 I was just trying to see why he in particular cheats.  Except that his wife texted me this morning asking to meet in person. Not sure what am going to say or do. Not sure if he told her about his cheating or she discovered something.

If she discovered things, he will describe you as some wacko Fatal Attraction case to save his own butt. Delete and block her number. You're not their attorney or therapist, let them has out their own dirty little secrets.

[smackie9]

On 11/27/2020 at 10:33 AM, EvangelineVincent said:

What’s “too” close a friendship vs just good friends ?

What acts of affection for a friend of the opposite sex are ok ? Hugs ? Massages ? Sharing food or drinks ? Face touching ? Hair touching ? Kissing on cheek ? 
 

I’m trying to get people’s opinions on what’s appropriate or not for themselves, to see where others draw the line or not ? 

I don't do any of those. I do Elbow to the ribs, a shove, teasing insults, make fun of them, rarely message them, if we do it's usually gossip.

[stillafool]

6 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

 Delete and block her number. You're not their attorney or therapist, let them has out their own dirty little secrets.

I would advise the same OP except you work with this man.  The wife may be so upset that you blocked her she may consider it a sign of guilt and show up at your job.

[EvangelineVincent]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

I would advise the same OP except you work with this man.  The wife may be so upset that you blocked her she may consider it a sign of guilt and show up at your job.

He actually no longer works where am at. He also moved away from my town so he is actually like 2 hours away. 
 

His wife contacted me today, she sent me a text, I’ve never met her and I haven’t seen or heard from him in several months so this was a shocker, I called her because her text said she wanted to meet and I don’t think that’s necessary but I do think I owe her the truth if she wants it. 
 

Turns out the reason he left the job is because he was having an affair with their neighbor and she caught him, so they moved home and town to work on things and so they can start fresh without the other woman in the picture.

Little did she know he had been cheating with me as well. She saw some texts we sent each other from over a year ago on his old phone. 
 

And now, here we are. 
 

She has a lot to unpack, I will certainly block his number if he decides to reach out to me, but I highly doubt he will. 

[basil67]

On 11/28/2020 at 5:33 AM, EvangelineVincent said:

What acts of affection for a friend of the opposite sex are ok ? Hugs ? Massages ? Sharing food or drinks ? Face touching ? Hair touching ? Kissing on cheek ? 

 

Hugs on greeting  OK.  

Massage OK if friend is a professional.  

Sharing food or drink - mostly Ok. For example:  "this drink is good. Would you like a taste?", at the end of a meal "are you going to eat those fries?", ordering a share platter,  eating food which is meant to be shared: tapas, Thai, etc.  

Face touching is OK if they've got something stuck on their face and need help locating it

Hair touching is OK if friend is a professional

Kissing on cheek when greeting is always OK in my culture.

[kismetkismet]

Flirting can be a bit elusive and isn't easy to LIST necessarily.. A lot of it is about tone and attitude, so most of the listed behaviours could be totally innocent, but could also be crossing boundaries into flirting. To answer your question though: 

Hugs ? Mostly yes, I always hug people as a greeting. 

Massages ? No

Sharing food or drinks ? Sharing appetizers and food is totally normal. Sharing drinks is kind of weird though.. trying a sip of someone's drink is fine, but who shares drinks?

Face touching ? No. In some contexts probably fine, but most would seem like flirting. 

Hair touching ? No. Ditto the above. 

Kissing on cheek ? This is probably cultural. Some cultures kiss everyone on the cheek as a greeting. We don't though, so I would find it weird. 

 

Your workplace sounds pretty toxic if a bunch of married people are going around cheating and flirting.. I've worked at laidback places where flirting and work relationships weren't THAT unusual. But that was usually when the staff was youngish and mostly single. 

[BaileyB]

Why am I flirting with other men when I’m in a relationship? Seriously.

What would I stand to gain from such behavior? What would I stand to lose?

The only thing I could say I would ever do is offer a hug another man - as a greeting, hello or goodbye. Platonic. Not sexual or flirtatious in any way. Otherwise... why would I disrespect myself and my partner by behaving inappropriately with other men?