My boyfriend acts miserable and dry lately. Is this how it is when the honeymoon stage is over?

[Michelemayor]

My bf and I have been dating since April. He was kinda back and fourth with his ex fling of almost 7 years. And when she found out about me she cut him off completely. He told me, his family and all of his friends that he NEVER dated her. Only slept with her. That she wanted more and he didn’t. But from some digging I found out that he only didn’t make it official with her because he talked so much crap about her that he would’ve looked like a liar if he did date her. In the past He tried to keep her around in secret like through all of his relationships. But with me, they don’t have contact anymore. 
He was in jail for like 6 months for something dumb he did with friends. That girl was the only one there for him and writing him letters and he wrote her as well.
He told me he used her because he had no one else but said he did feel bad.  
Few months after we first started dating he posted me ALOT! Saying I make his life happy. He would tag me in things. He even posted a vanity he built for me online.
she sent him a text one day saying she realized they were never meant to be. That she Wished she’d known sooner and was happy for him. Immediately after he told me about the post , he went live on Facebook looking all sad. He was playing music but he looked so miserable lol. Like you could see it in his eyes.
Now, he doesn’t post anything. Just himself always looking miserable on his lives or inspirational quote or bible post. He posted me on my birthday in August, immediately a few days after deleted his entire Instagram and made a new private one and now only post inspirational quotes. 
He just seems unhappy. He barely has friends. The ones he has are fake. They all talk bad about each other. All of his ex’s literally hate him. One day the girl he said he used posted how she now sleeps better at night. She didn’t say because of him, she just said she’s happier. Again didn’t reference him. The next day he posted a rant on social media saying he has a shameful past and he wishes people would judge him for who he is NOW and not 10 years ago and that he’s changed.

 He’s on house arrest and I live near him so I’m always there. He’s never really in good moods anymore. Doesn’t smile hardly anymore. Always dry. Just seem to be taking things day by day. Today he posted a quote on Facebook saying “if you have someone that loves you, wants you to grow and achieve, goes through hard times with you. Keep them by your side because it’s rare” he didn’t tag me this time tho???? He’s tagged me before in  pointless post. Is the honey moon stage over? Is this normal?

 

Edited November 29, 2020 by Michelemayor
Mis spelled

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

-he talked so much crap 
-He was in jail for like 6 months
-He told me he used her 
-He just seems unhappy. He barely has friends.

-All of his ex’s literally hate him.

-He’s on house arrest and I live near him so I’m always there.

-He’s never really in good moods anymore. 

There are so many red flags here. 🚩 He uses women. He talks bad about them. He's moody broody.  He's most likely using you and 'talking crap' about you too. Run. 👟👟

[Michelemayor]

2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

There are so many red flags here. 🚩 He uses women. He talks bad about them. He's moody broody.  He's most likely using you and 'talking crap' about you too. Run. 👟👟

I truly feel like he’s trying to change....

[elaine567]

Seems very obvious what is going on here.
He is in love with that girl and now realises he probably has lost her for good, hence the misery and sadness.
He is grieving for her.

15 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

“if you have someone that loves you, wants you to grow and achieve, goes through hard times with you. Keep them by your side because it’s rare”

^^^ This is about her..
He didn't tag you deliberately as it has nothing to do with you.

[ExpatInItaly]

27 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

I truly feel like he’s trying to change....

You're only fooling yourself here, OP. 

This guy is not a good person. Aim higher. 

[Michelemayor]

46 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

I truly feel like he’s trying to change....

 Do you think people can change? 

[ExpatInItaly]

26 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

 Do you think people can change? 

Sure. 

I just don't think he's one of those people. 

[Michelemayor]

10 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Sure. 

I just don't think he's one of those people. 

):..... in the beginning he was ok with tagging me and posting me. He had never been that way before. He was happy and smiling all the time

[Michelemayor]

@elaine567 that upsets me because he admittedly treated her like trash and never claimed her as a gf. All his friends hate her too

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, Michelemayor said:

 he talked so much crap about her. 

That girl was the only one there for him and writing him letters and he wrote her as well.
He told me he used her because he had no one else but said he did feel bad.  

She most likely things he will change also. As soon as someone is no longer useful to him, he'll discard them. Right now you are useful because he's on house arrest and  you provide sex and probably do a lot for him. 

[Cookiesandough]

This is what happens when you dress up a pig and try to make it a boyfriend. 

[DarrenB]

Wow, yes of course! nothing shows gratitude more than a social media post of a pre-made quote stating 'if you have someone that loves you, wants you to grow and achieve, goes through hard times with you. Keep them by your side because it’s rare' right? No. He's contradicted himself because he's not providing you with the basic necessities you'd expect in a relationship and it sure as heck doesn't sound as though he's appreciative of you. Real actions speak louder than words, not some lovey dovey online façade of tagging you in posts.

+ who's say to he's not now using you to get over another bad stage of his life? then when he finds himself in a sufficient enough position, to kick you to the curb and treat you as if you don't exist? if he can do that with no remorse to someone he's been romantically involved with for 7 years he sure as heck won't have a problem doing it with someone he's not even spent 1 year with.

Spend your life with someone that makes living worthwhile, not as if it is a burden.

Edited November 29, 2020 by DarrenB

[Michelemayor]

38 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

She most likely things he will change also. As soon as someone is no longer useful to him, he'll discard them. Right now you are useful because he's on house arrest and  you provide sex and probably do a lot for him. 

Lol to be honest.... she stopped talking to him forever ago. At least that’s what he said. I looked at her social media post one day recently. Nothing about him. Just funny memes and post about how she’s enjoying Christmas time. So it’s hard to say if she does 

[ShyViolet]

This guy doesn't exactly sound like a "catch".  You don't think you can do better?  This is the kind of life you want to settle for?

And you are so heavily fixated on what people are posting on social media.  It seems like all you are talking about is what people are "posting".  It just kinda stands out.  Stop viewing the world through Facebook and Instagram.

[Michelemayor]

1 minute ago, ShyViolet said:

This guy doesn't exactly sound like a "catch".  You don't think you can do better?  This is the kind of life you want to settle for?

And you are so heavily fixated on what people are posting on social media.  It seems like all you are talking about is what people are "posting".  It just kinda stands out.  Stop viewing the world through Facebook and Instagram.

Yeah true!!!! But he acts dry and miserable In Person too! Always ask what’s his problem he says nothing is wrong so social media is a way I can see into his mind 

[ShyViolet]

4 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

Yeah true!!!! But he acts dry and miserable In Person too! Always ask what’s his problem he says nothing is wrong so social media is a way I can see into his mind 

If this guy won't actually talk to you about his feelings or anything real, and the only way you can "see into his mind" is by living through his Facebook posts, then you should not be in a relationship with this person.

[Noproblem]

There was never a honey moon stage to begin with. I don't know what you are seeing in this guy, he was in jail, he used others, he loved another girl yet he trashed multiple times, now he is sad because he doesn't get to play with her feelings anymore .. and what are you in all this  an analytic observer!

You deserve someone better than a guy who uses others and fake it on social media

You deserve better than someone who is on a house arrest!

 

I don't know why do you think he is the answers to all your problems, but wake up and realize he is the problem!

 

Just leave him. Start a new fresh life, block him on social media and move on! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! He actually  used you to annoy that girl, now she is not playing his game anymore, he kinda feel like he can't play anymore, he is bored and miserable! He lost his game!

Edited November 29, 2020 by Noproblem

[MsJayne]

1 hour ago, Shortskirtslonglashes said:

This is what happens when you dress up a pig and try to make it a boyfriend. 

😂

[Michelemayor]

38 minutes ago, Noproblem said:HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU! He actually  used you to annoy that girl, now she is not playing his game anymore, he kinda feel like he can't play anymore, he is bored and miserable! He lost his game!

So what about when he used to comment on all my pics, was that to annoy her then?  And when he would tell me I was beautiful? Was she listening? 

[kendahke]

2 hours ago, Michelemayor said:

 Do you think people can change? 

what's the point? You're his rebound relationship and he's still emotionally tied to that girl--he outted himself by how he's acting when she cut the line and set him adrift.  One would think he'd be happy as a pig in slop over it, but he's not.  And you do nothing to bring him out of it.

You need to leave him alone before you get really hurt. Rebounds rarely work out.

[kendahke]

3 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

So what about when he used to comment on all my pics, was that to annoy her then?  And when he would tell me I was beautiful? Was she listening? 

Rebound questions...

What about it?  It was something to do while stuck at home with an ankle bracelet courtesy of the state because he was bored.

He was trying to get her attention to see if she would arse herself to give a damn... and he's moody because she won't take the bait.

[kendahke]

2 hours ago, Michelemayor said:

@elaine567 that upsets me because he admittedly treated her like trash and never claimed her as a gf. All his friends hate her too

But in reality, he really loves her.

The opposite of love is indifference, not hate.  Hate is angry, invested love.

[Michelemayor]

7 minutes ago, kendahke said:

what's the point? You're his rebound relationship and he's still emotionally tied to that girl--he outted himself by how he's acting when she cut the line and set him adrift.  One would think he'd be happy as a pig in slop over it, but he's not.  And you do nothing to bring him out of it.

You need to leave him alone before you get really hurt. Rebounds rarely work out.

Yeah that’s what angers me. He said I make his life completely happy. I don’t feel like I do 😞

[kendahke]

5 minutes ago, Michelemayor said:

Yeah that’s what angers me. He said I make his life completely happy. I don’t feel like I do 😞

That's because you don't.  Stop looking at what he's saying: how is he acting?

Clearly, he can say most anything to you and this other chick to get you ask how high he wants you two to jump... she caught on when he overplayed his pretend vindictiveness and kicked him to the curb... and now nothing about you matters a hill of beans to him.

Edited November 29, 2020 by kendahke

[Michelemayor]

6 minutes ago, kendahke said:

That's because you don't.  Stop looking at what he's saying: how is he acting?

Clearly, he can say most anything to you and this other chick to get you ask how high he wants you two to jump... she caught on when he overplayed his pretend vindictiveness and kicked him to the curb... and now nothing about you matters a hill of beans to him.

He acts lovingly but he’s ALWAYS in a bad mood. Always having money troubles. 
and as far as her, she shouldn’t have texted him that she was happy for him. That was vindictiveness on her part