Author Cocolemon Posted December 17, 2020 Author Share Posted December 17, 2020 I was reading everyone’s latest comments. I just want to say thank you all for your responses, it’s helped me out. I realize am painting my husband to be this horrible person, but he has many good qualities, he has helped out everyone in his life, financially and just by being there for them. He is a flirt, something I noticed only recently, his flirting style is through conversation and jokes not through sexual comments type. While he was being inappropriate with his close friendship, I feel she gets him in a way I don’t. Their personalities match because they both are the type to live life one day at a time and focus on the present moment. He is a living type of guy, am more reserved with my affections. He has never been jealous of attention I get from men, he finds it amusing, he even points out if a man checked me out and just chuckles . He also compliments me and lifts me up. I’m more the jealous type 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted December 17, 2020 Share Posted December 17, 2020 10 hours ago, Cocolemon said: .He also compliments me and lifts me up. I’m more the jealous type Excellent. Hopefully therapy will help with that and help make you feel better about yourself, him and your marriage. Best of luck going forward. Link to post Share on other sites
ctdans Posted February 5, 2021 Share Posted February 5, 2021 Going to comment on this old post. I really don't see why he wouldn't stop? I mean he knows how hurt you were and he knows what people at work are talking about so why on earth would he continue to flirt and touch a coworker? They are friends for 14 years so when at home be "friendly" but out of love and compassion and respect for you he has to establish and keep within boundaries. He put you through hell for far too long. Link to post Share on other sites
merrmeade Posted February 14, 2021 Share Posted February 14, 2021 (edited) On 2/5/2021 at 1:00 PM, ctdans said: Going to comment on this old post. I really don't see why he wouldn't stop? I mean he knows how hurt you were and he knows what people at work are talking about so why on earth would he continue to flirt and touch a coworker? They are friends for 14 years so when at home be "friendly" but out of love and compassion and respect for you he has to establish and keep within boundaries. He put you through hell for far too long. There it is again: The simple, clear script of people with boundaries vs the blurred lines of the people without. “I really don't see why he wouldn't stop?” is breath-takingly refreshing for its naïveté, expressing the simple premise that marriage vows easily cancel conflicting interests. No contest. No question. Just “why wouldn’t he stop?” Indeed. The events, behaviors in this post are painfully familiar - especially the back-rubbing.. A public back rub is the most palpable and thereby the most flagrantly disrespectful of all lines crossed to me in any ‘just friends’ charade such as this. It’s essentially a PDA that oddly slips below the radar of public censure even though a back rub probably expresses more affection, sensuality and ownership than a kiss or embrace. Their determination to justify, perpetuate and shame you with their 14-year exercise in mass delusion is only as incredible as the possibility that they have constructed a private self-delusion that’s even more absurd. An example of this kind of absurdity: My husband actually protested that he and my sister-in-law were “mostly just friends.” For real. “Mostly.” Edited February 14, 2021 by merrmeade Link to post Share on other sites
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